Dumbest thing said during sex

This thread over here made me realize that a lot of people think they sound dumb or silly if they talk during sex. OK then, out with it! What are some of the dumbest, silliest or most embarassing things you have uttered while you were getting some?

I’ve said plenty, I’ll offer this one to get things started. Me on my back, girl on top going up and down and I spoke this eloquent gem: “Yeah baby, make me cry!” I don’t even know where it came from, but I wish I could put it back there.

Anyone else?

Don’t know if this is exactly what you’re loooking for but:

I was waiting for a perspective employer to call. My gf at the time, and I were sitting around waitng with nothing to do and one thing leds to another… Pretty soon we’re on the floor of the living room, me on top, it’s getting good…

“brrrnngggg” …damn the phone, I have to answer it. “Hello”…It’s my sister Janet, “Uh Janet can I call you back?, im in the middle of something right now” This led both of us to crack up (btw, anyone notice how weird it feels when the person you’re in laughs)

Well last nights ensemble went as such:

Me:Oh yes! I’m going to come!
Chris: Gasp, Are you sure?
Me: Yes, Yes!
Chris: GROAN
Me: NO, I lied…
It was classic, I thought I really was going to, but realized in the middle that I wasn’t. He was shocked and didn’t say anything until a few minutes later

then he murmured “no?”

it was funny as hell…

Hope that wasn’t too graphic.

loooong time ago. College days. He was spending the night, we’d made love, gone to sleep. I woke up and we were apparently, um, involved again. I said “have we been doing this all night?” (hey - I wasn’t awake yet, honest)

Here is a wonderful collection of such things that everyone should read.

I looked my x-wife right in the eyes and with all the passion I could muster I told her to “Take it and like it!!..”

I was caught up in the moment I guess… I was horrified as soon as it came out of my mouth. She teased me about it for a month and told everyone. Oh well…

I also said my own name once… I don’t know why… I was going at it and just said… “Oh… Stephen… you’re incredible…”

Apparently I have a high opinion of my sexual prowess… It’s totally unfounded.

No, that was perfectly hilarious.

Here is one that is not mine, but cracks me up every time I hear it. A friend of mine had a girlfriend that would not leave even though he told her several times they were through. So one night he is in the act with her, doggy style, and he leans up close to her ear and says “I’m pretending you’re a guy”. She finally got the hint.

I don’t know if I can put this in words. I’ll try anyway. I have this one extremely ticklish spot, well two really, one on each side. My OBGYN found it once when he was looking for ovarian cysts, does that kind of give you an idea of the area of the abdomen it is? Anyway, many, many years ago when hubby and I were newlyweds he was changing positions in the bed and crawling over me to get there. His woody poked my ticklish spot and I instinctively reached down and grabbed it, but somehow I managed to try and be gentle, causing my touch to feel ticklish to him. All I could say was something like, “hummina-hummina-hummina”. Does that count? It almost spoiled the moment. (We still laugh about that though.)

Can we give quotes that were said to us?

My ex-boyfriend, more times than I care to recall, immediately after the conclusion of the act:

“Are you pregnant?”

Yeah, way to maintain the mood there, buddy :rolleyes:

What was especially galling was that I was the one in charge of the birth control

I don’t know, maybe he thought a bell went off when a woman conceived, but it’s stuff like that that makes me feel better about the breakup

Palandine, was your ex a blonde guy named Rick? Just sounded familiar.

Eh, I’ll keep the name a secret to protect the guilty. :slight_smile:

But he wasn’t blond–not naturally, not otherwise.

Palandine, who’s appalled that more than one guy in Missouri who said that…

I was once told by one of my guys that if I didn’t stop calling him God he was gonna quit!
After that we got the giggles so bad we had to stop because all I could picture was the people in the neighborhood comming to the door and looking for the great God with his name.
You see it was summer and we had all the windows open, and I can be quite vocal at times. :wink:

“Are you through yet?”

-Steve Martin

Back when “the wife” was still “the girlfriend”, we were having a zesty session, we’ve both always been vocal anyway, and screams “I’m coming, I’m coming!”. To which I naturaly reply “Me Too! Me Too!” If that wasn’t bad enough, I had a couple of high school friends visiting at the time, and they heard the whole thing! That was almost 20 years ago, (Damn, I’m getting old) and when I go back to my home town, I still heard "I’m coming… Me Too, Me too!


When I was with my ex and I had to be home at a certain time I told him to “make it quick”. I think that kind of pissed him off. All he could say while he was driving me home was “make it quick” in these really sarcastic tones. Oh well, he was an ass anyway.

I know this is wandering off-topic, but…

Who are these people who just gotta ANSWER THE PHONE??? I mean…you have a machine…or *69…or they’ll call back! Just let it go!

Ahem. Right, then. Carry on…


The correct response is

“heh heh hehheh heh…he said 69, heh hehheh hehheh”

Why thank you Tymp… I didn’t wanna myself you know… hehe

Not dumbest thing said, but stupidest thing done. For some reason, at one point (they were on top), I realised I didn’t know what time it was. I started thinking about it, and it really started bothering me, I started becoming unaroused. Damn it! I just had to know what time it was. So I looked over at my watch. ahem… The room became decidely cooler. Needless to say, I did not get any sex for a couple weeks.