Dear Chewbacca

Cafe Society
1

Dear Chewbacca:

It is really amazing that you are reading this, and by “amazing”, I mean: “not”, and by “you”, I mean: “WTF?”

You can Tig-Weld shit, without the worry of catchin a-fire, and bark, but I never heard you say, “Rowwrm, Chewbacca, rowwmmfnswhateverthefuckyoufakebastard.”

How do you explain your name?

I got so fucking sick at the one with the wannabe-rasta-idiot,I started talking back to the movie and got kicked out. Maybe they explained it in the one with the whimperlings or some shit.

Maybe Spock was all up on his shit, with the fingers-deal, and was like:

Spock: “Jim, this dude is Chewbacca.”
Kirk: “Fuck you, creep, he said his name was ‘ROWWWrryarbromyarstomp’, and I think he said something about rolling a joint. Don’t EVER touch me again.”
Rowwrr: “Rowryaalllllaaaazzz”
Kirk: “See, you idiot! It’s like “Lou Rawls’s Lawyer” and shit.”

Word.

2

He’s back!!!

And crap.

3

I agree.

4

“It is really not that WTF are reading this”?

Now, that doesn’t make very much sense at all.

ETA: and shit.

5

Rasta Idiots and the Whimperlings! Coming soon to a stadium near you! RRowrm!

6

Indeed.
n shit.

7

How do the Grommits fit into all this?

8

Actually, I have also wondered how Chewbacca got his name and I think, years ago, that I posted that on a thread somewhere here on the SDMB. My problem is this: most, if not all, human names are words that are pronounceable by humans. However, never has the creature Chewbacca come close to any vocalization close to “Chewbacca.” So, how do they get their names? Wouldn’t their names be something like “rowrfmrworm” or something they could say. It’s kind of like how I think dogs would name each other a smell rather than a vocalization if they named each other.

9

Interesting idea. My dog’s dog name would probably be something like Week-old Roadkill Farts.

10

Hey there Chewbacca
What’s it like in ol’ Mos Eisley?
You will never find a more
wretched hive of scum and villainy
Oh yes it’s true!
Times Square comes close, Las Vegas too!
I swear it’s true!

Hey there Chewbacca
Don’t you worry about the distance
I can make the Kessel run
in a bit fewer than 12 parsecs
all just for you!
(That sounds like time, it’s distance too!)
(It involves AU!)

Oh it’s what you do to me!
Oh it’s what you do to me!
Oh it’s what you do to me!
Oh it’s what you do to me!
What you do to me!

Hey there Chewbacca
They will reward all our defiance
If we get off this Death Star
And get the plans to the Alliance
We’ll have it good!
We’ll have the life we knew we would
My word is good!

Oh it’s what you do to me!
Oh it’s what you do to me!
Oh it’s what you do to me!
Oh it’s what you do to me!
What you do to me!

11

Bravo! Oh, and that song is ruined (improved?) forever now.

12

Are you forgetting that Spock’s a fuckin’ moron?

13

Oh good, I thought this dude was banned and shit. I’m glad he wasn’t. And shit.

14

“It is really not that WTF are reading this”? oook…

15

Maybe “Chewbacca” is a common human name he adapted for convenience.

16

That’s no moon.

17

Solo: “That’s no moon.” Looks over casually to his right. “Chewy, stop beating off.” Rolls eyes and resumes determined look ahead.

That’s how it really goes down, I mean when they don’t have guests on board and shit.

18

In one of the public’s first exposures to the name, the Time magazine aerticle on the movie before the film opened, the magazine casually tossed in a comment after it first printeed the name:

…which suggests one way he could have gotten the name – it’s a portmanteau pun on chew tobacco.
Of course, that doesn’t explain the other, equally weird Wookiee names from Lucas’ universe: Attichituck, Mallatobuck, Lumpawaroo. On the other hand, these appear in the despised and rejected Star Wars Holiday Special, so maybe we can all agree that these things never existed and never will exist.

19

Clearly the Wookies are descended from Australians.

20

Or vice versa.
What?