Get your tickets now for the Pot and Kettle World Tour!!!
This is a WAY better rant than yours, Hoss (although I acknowledge he’s goin’ off about something entirely different).
It’s also from one o’ their own, a Brit, so we don’t have to put up with a bunch of “So’s your ole man” comebacks from the same crowd that he’s on about in the column.
It comes down to this: take folks one at a time. Using generalities about “Euro-trash”, or “Yanks” (don’t call ME that, dude - I’m from Texas!:)) are poor substitutes for thought.
Oh, except for the French. All of THOSE guys suck!
I think we’re missing an important point here.
Are you telling me American women aren’t easy?
:: sound of Steve cancelling his airline reservations
I sincerely hope that was a joke.
I just want to say that I really like the statue that France gave us. It is very cool.
Dear France,
Thanks for the statue. Oh, and thanks for helping us with that whole independence thing too.
Can anyone expand upon this - it isn’t the first time I have read this, but according to http://www.burgerking.com/company/timeline.htm BK started in Miami and has its International Headquarters there.
Regarding the OP - well, we have a bit of a joke here in Sweden regarding the frequency of US tourists asking about the Swedish Alps (note for those that are confused, Switzerland is the country beginning with “S” that you might be thinking of). Seeing as some of the first Europeans to arrive in the US were from Scandinavia (well before Columbus et al) you’d think at least the location of the country would be taught in History lessons, never mind Geography.
(Note: I am not Swedish, so don’t get at me about that)
Have another look at your linked thread, especially what happened in 1988. Only a pedant would claim that BK is a British company though. There are any number of multi-national conglomerates that own businesses all over the globe, but the key point is that they’re multi-national – it doesn’t matter in which country they have their HQ.
FWIW, Grand Metropolitan merged with Guiness to become Diageo, which has it’s corporate HQ heaven knows where, but probably in London.
Bringing back fond memories of one of the prime motivators for the heavy interest of my '79 HS classmates in getting into any stateside college – even one of equal or less quality than UPR at 10X the cost…
Boy were some people up for a disappointment (not me – I had done my homework! That’s also how I found out ahead of time that tipping [sarcasm] is not a reward for a job well done, but a compulsory obligation of the same rank as showing reverence upon entering a place of worship[/sarcasm] )
I suppose that there are conversely a bunch of Amurkins landing in the Old Continent with visions of hashish in the streets and tag-teams of promiscuous blondes, complaining to random locals about seatless toilets and rubbing their faces in that “we saved ya while you surrendered”…
Damhna, good call: “Touro-turds”, it’s not “Euro-”
furt: Good rant. Kinda mistargeted and obviously motivated by your getting stiffed, but good rant.
god, this is boring…
American women are easy?
[sub]::Non-self-imposed celibate Milo’s self-esteem plunges to an all-time low …::[/sub]
Awwwww, dammit! And I thought all this time it was my charming personality, being a good listener and having wonderful sense of humor.
You mean all I had to do was spring for dinner and ask the manager for clean sheets???
:eek: :eek:
I’m impressed! Magnificent rant! Exquisitely performed and executed and it covers a whole range of irritations! Who cares that it originally has no set target but foreign tourists? I’m thinking of doing copy and paste into my word processor, switching it to a fancy font, increasing the font size and printing it out on colored paper as a poster to hang on my wall!! 
Applause - applause !!!
Euro-Leper to Prostitute…
[QUOTE]
That’s alright sweetheart, you can keep the tip.
Maybe you chose the wrong occupation?
then some adenoidal typists from Birmingham with diarrhea and flabby white legs and hairy bandy-legged wop waiters called Manuel, and then, once a week, there’s an excursion to the local Roman Ruins where you can buy cherryade and melted ice cream and bleedin’ Watney’s Red Barrel, and then one night they take you to a local restaurant with local colour and colouring and they show you there and you sit next to a party of people from Rhyl who keeps singing ‘Torremolinos, Torremolinos’ and complaining about the food, ‘Oh, it’s so greasy, isn’t it?’
Dear Furt
Being from Leeds myself I’d say bugger off!!
With an extra-large, good old original, super value, industrial sized, mega concentrated strength, bottle of bugger.
Imagine how Bits feel having lost around 1.5 millions in 2 world wars to have US tourists drop by and tell us the they(as if it were them personally) saved our asses twice, with the hint that maybe we should drop to our knees and provide a blowjob.
Tipping is not such a common ocurrance in the UK, its perhaps a cultural thing and in Leeds, land of the Yorkshireman, expecting a tip is near to expecting a clip around the lughole for such cheek.
If I were to believe US import tv progs then I certainly think you were all gangsters, cowboys, plastic Barbie lookalikes, disenfranchised Hispanics, loud and assertive divorcees, greedy lawyers, corrupt politicians, gullible homeboys, schoolchild massacre killers etc etc
So if we think you are all rich, have beautiful wives, thousands of acres of ranchland I’d take what you can get on that, unless you want me to think that you are really like all the other things.
“Hi. I’m your taxi driver and I’m transparently trying to pretend I like you (even though you suck) to get a tip from you, I hope my obvious falseness is hidden behind my upcoming actors facade(I’m only doing this until my big break, then you can kiss my ass)”
Have to say, that was a very good rant by you though
Foe those who want to quibble, my point was “some Europeans suck.” If you wish to argue that point, do so. You will find nothing in my rant indicating that “all Europeans suck,” or “no Americans suck,” or even “Europeans suck at a greater per capita rate and with more intensity than Americans.” In fact, you will find several disclaimers saying the just the opposite. If you can’t deal with someone venting themselves on the 'net without taking it personally, please bring this issue up with your therapist.
Bill H., I am so glad that you know all my motivations so well. Thanks for climbing into my head. Now, I cordially invite you to bite my hairy ass. Do so firmly and with sincerity, as I am sure you will find it a fulfilling experience.
Well, I don’t know how it works for taxi drivers, but for waitresses tipping is not just a little “something extra” for a job well done. Waitresses in the United States can legally be paid a special sub-minimum wage; it’s expected that they will receive a substantial portion of their wages in tips, and this is built in to their payscale.
Exactly.
When I was a waiter, I was paid $2.13 per hour, which was half minimum wage. Restaurant owners are allowed to do this because it’s expected that you’ll make most (not just a substantial portion) of your money in tips. I had friends who actually received negative paychecks (after taxes, because you had to declare your tips at an 8% rate).
So no, tipping is not optional. Yes, the whole system sucks. But until waiters are paid a living wage, that’s how it works. If you don’t want to tip, don’t eat out. Or go to McDonald’s.
Heavens, yes :o Always tip your wait-staff, they need it badly. That was part of my “homework” – my dig was at furt’s description of tipping as a “cultural practice similar to taking your shoes off in a mosque.”
[nitpick]Actually, he didn’t say it was similar to the religious practices mentioned, he said “It is an American cultural practice, just like taking off your shoes in a Mosque, bowing in Japan, etc.” I think the distinction is significant. He’s not equating tipping with the others (at least I didn’t get that sense).[/nitpick]
That said, I don’t know if I agree that tipping is a “cultural practice”. Unless everything done while you’re in a culture can be construed as a cultural practice. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just the way things are done. Hmmm…maybe it is a cultural practice…