I’ve been all over the world. Travel is my main hobby. Quite often I am embarrassed by my fellow countrymen but this couple takes the cake for outright stupidity.
Scene: October of 1998 in the Egyptian antiquities section of the Vatican. An American couple in their 60s is next to me. Mrs. Dumbass is video taping and speaking into the mircophone of the camera when she says what at the time was the stupidest thing that I have ever heard:
** “Look at all of the Egyptian stuff. This shows how much wealth the Catholic Church has that they could afford to buy all of this.” **
Then Mr. Dumbass applies the topper.
** “Of course they didn’t buy it. It was all donated.” **
It wasn’t in europe, but I picked up a good one while flying over Beijing the other day:
Yank1: “I wonder how many people live in Beijing…”
Yank2: “About a million or so.”
Yank1: “No, come on, it has to be closer to two million!”
Yank1: “Hmn, yeah, it looks pretty big.”
Generally speaking, no one used to buy relics from old civilizations, much less donate them. This is something you just TAKE
The British museum “stole” nearly everything they have on show, including all of the Egyptian and ancient “Iraqi” stuff. Did I mention that the Egyptians and Iraqis want it back?
When we were on tour in France, one of the members of my group of women, aged 14 through 24, refused to leave her Paris hotel roon to visit the Louve with us. “Just a bunch of pictures”, she said. And she wasn’t the only one. Out of 32, only 5 of us went. It was not part of our itinerary, we had to make our own way, but the Mona Lisa smiled at me.
Well you know Cyn, there are people in the world who don’t like art galleries, and who do see them more or less as just a bunch of pictures. Sorry if that makes us stupid :rolleyes:
I can’t honestly think of a good answer to the OP, but I do remember an outrageously stupid comment made by an American on a flight from Europe. It was the middle of July, and we were landing in New York, and a woman said to her companion “I talked to my sister in Boston yesterday and she said it was very warm there and they’re expecting it to be very warm in New York too.”
Let me repeat - it was the middle of July and we were landing in New York. What the hell kind of weather did they expect??
A few years back I was in Paris, waiting in line to go up the Eiffel Tower. Behind me, I heard one 20-something American say in a dead-on Bill and Ted voice, “Dude, we totally don’t know where we are.”
This one happened three weeks ago in Amsterdam. An American father and daughter were standing behind us in line at the Anne Frank house. The daughter was going to begin her freshman year at a very good university in the Fall.
She says to her Dad, **“I don’t get it. Why did they have to hide?” **
The year is 1986. I’m in London with my sister and her friend. There’s something we were going to do, I don’t recall what, and my sister investigated the price for us.
Sister: It costs ten dollars. Fiver: You mean pounds.
Sister: Whatever (rolls eyes)!
I was staying in Paris and eating breakfast in the cafe downstairs (in the basement). My table was next to the table of another American couple. The waitress (or hostess or whatever) comes by and asks if they’d like any coffee. The man looks at her and says “Si.” Took him about 15 seconds to realize what he just said and and 4 minutes for all of us (excluding the waitress who just poured the coffee and left) to stop laughing.
More cute than stupid really, but it makes me smile.
BTW, “si” is French-French for yes, but only when responding to a negative. “Tu n’es pas gai, toi?” “Mais si!”
OK, here’s the height of vacation stupidity. I’m in the Musée d’Orsay enjoying the great art. There are swarms of other tourists walking around, taking pictures of the art, and then walking away.
LOOK AT IT NOW!!! You are in a house of fine art in the queen city of the western world! If you wanted photos, you could have bought yourself a nice big glossy art book and saved yourself the vacation money! There is no point in taking an amateurish photo and then looking at a 5x7 reproduction of a piece of art you are standing in front of! LOOK AT IT NOW!!!
Hear, hear, matt_mcl. That has got to be the stupidest phenomenon I’ve ever encountered.
I can’t think of any stupid-American stories offhand, but here’s a stupid-Brit one that tops them all:
Grocery store near the ferry port, Santander, Spain. Elderly British couple buying crates of wine-in-a-box and bad Spanish lager, blundering about the store like a couple of elephants, and occasionally shouting “EXCUSE ME” in English. They approach the checkout.
Clerk: Su pasaporte, por favor.
Female Brit-twit: I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT HE’S SAYING, HARRY!
Male Brit-twit: I DON’T EITHER! WHY CAN’T THEY SPEAK PROPERLY?
Clerk: Su pasaporte. (points to woman’s passport)
FBT: OH! YOU MEAN MY PASSPORT! (Leans into clerk’s face to “correct” him). Passport. Pass-port.
I would give anything to know how these people managed to reach the age of sixty or so without encountering the phenomenon of foreign languages.
Takes place at the train station. The Canuck is attempting to book a trip - in English. Doesn’t even ask if the ticketman speaks English, just starts talking. The ticketman of course doesn’t speak English, and tells the Canadian so - in Spanish. The Canadian leans over (why do people think they’ll be better understood when they do this?) and says, very loudly: “No, I’m not American. I’m Canadian!”
I always want to throttle people like that and say “you know, that maple leaf on your rucksack doesn’t excuse you being an ARSEHOLE.”
My aunt visited me while I was living in King’s Lynn, England, in 1997. I sent these ‘Ann-isms’ to my cousin to report her more outlandish statements:
Ann: How will I know how much things cost?
Me: Use your calculator and multiply by 1.7.
Ann: What will that tell me?
Me: How many dollars the item costs. You multiply the pounds by 1.7 - that gives you the dollar amount.
Ann: That’s too much work.
Me: Well, you can just multiply the pounds by 2 and take a little off - that will give you a rough estimate.
Ann: How much is a little off?
Me: Well, to make it easier, just multiply by 2.
Ann: Will I need my calculator?
Ann and a clerk at Norfolk Lavender. Ann’s buying lavender seeds.
Ann: Will these grow in the Bay Area?
Clerk: Where?
Ann (loudly): In the Bay Area, in San Francisco.
Clerk: These come from the Mediterranean so they can withstand some heat, but they should be planted in the shade.
Ann: What should be planted in the shade?
Clerk: Why, these seeds.
Ann: You said the plants should be in the shade. I don’t want them!
Ann looking at an exhibit in the King’s Lynn Folk Museum. There is a reference to the Civil War.
Ann: Did the English fight in our civil war?
Me: I think they’re referring to their own civil war.
Ann: Well! They should say that. How am I supposed to know that?
Me: I don’t think they’d put up a sign saying how many civil wars they didn’t fight in so that they wouldn’t confuse people.
Ann: I thought we were the only people who had a civil war. Do you mean there were others?
Ann referring to the millennium:
Ann: Ah, the millennium. I won’t see you because you’ll be in Australia.
Me: Where did you get that idea? I don’t even think I’ll be there 6 months.
Ann: Oh - when is the millennium?
Ann: This may be the last time you’ll see me (sigh).
Me: Why? Where are you going?
Ann: I’ll be dead and gone.
Me: By August when I come home for a visit?
Ann: I’ll probably die on that bus trip you put me on.
Me: What do you want me to do with your remains?
Ann: Nobody cares.
Me: I’ll just have you cremated and sprinkle you over the Firth of Forth (kidding).
Ann: Don’t do that! I’ll never remember the name of it (not kidding).
Visit Quebec this summer! We love Statesians! Vacation tip: in every town/city in the province the most luxurious (and by law also the cheapest) hotel is called “Hotel de Ville”. It’s a huge state-run chain of hotels. Thank me later. Grand Prix weekend June 8-10!
