Okay, I tried to make that all-inclusive there. This was obviously inspired by the “stupid Americans in Europe” thread. While that is basically “stupid things tourists say”, this is more of “stupid things natives say to you, a tourist, about your own country.”
My experience :
I was in Avignon, France a few years ago and in the riverside market area Mercedes had a big tent set up with some of their upcoming/concept cars. Some of them were rather small, personal commuter-type vehicles. I asked one of the men there about them. I spoke in English, presumably with an American accent – I could have no other : “Are these electric vehicles? They look a lot like the personal electric cars I’ve seen in America.”
To which the man replied, laughing : “OH NO! In America they drive HUGE cars!”
I eventually did manage to find out that they were not, in fact, electric.
I also had a rather dumb bartender in Amsterdam tell me, “I’ve seen more of America than you have, so I know more about it.” He then of course had to tell us all the places he’d been, and while I didn’t share it with him, I’d guess I’ve seen as much of the U.S. as he has despite being half his age. Sort of an advantage for me having lived there and all.
One time in the St. Petersburg metro I was approached by a little old lady asking about the next train. I replied and she asked where I was from, since I did have an accent. When I told her the States, her eyes got wide and she said “Really? I heard they were all black there!”
I’m not sure what is supposed to be stupid about this. If you’re going to expect a Frenchman, in France, to speak your language, you might make allowances for a certain lack of comprehension. I suspect that what he heard was the “American cars” bit and thought that you were asking if the cars were American. And Americans cars are huge, by European standards.
This from a Canadian posting on a discussion forum I frequent (not this one, obviously), describing US Dollars:
Yes, I suppose we should all be so lucky to have the sense of color that you Canadian’s put into your money. Various shades of red and white, or various shades of blue and white.
Fucking monopoly money it is. Worth less than the greenback too.
Let’s put our biggest European nuclear sub base somewhere nice and quiet… no people… hey, Scotland!
Och aye/hoots mon/it’s a braw bricht moonlit nicht the nicht. And so forth.
I canna change the laws of physics.
Let’s put the biggest European nuclear sub base somewhere that has clearly opted to be part of the US defense program… hey, Scotland!
We need somewhere to test the Poll Tax/new minimum wage/biological warfare/etc.
Loch Ness, starring Ted Danson. HAHAHAHAHAHA. “You’ll be another beastie hunter…” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Have these people ever BEEN to Inverness? I’m talking GREY URBAN ETC.
“Umm… Mr Tyson, we realise you’re fighting in Glasgow so maybe if you wrapped this plaid car rug around your waist you’d endear yourself to the Scots…”
“Highlander… do you remember our home, on the planet Zeist?”
Let’s put the biggest European nuclear sub base somewhere that really needs the employment… hey, Scotland! Let’s get a local village to put up a new housing estate for the workers… huh? It’s five years later? Okay, let’s employ an all-American workforce and house them in the base!
Let’s put our biggest European nuclear sub base somewhere nice and quiet… no people… hey, Scotland!
Och aye/hoots mon/it’s a braw bricht moonlit nicht the nicht. And so forth.
I canna change the laws of physics.
Let’s put our biggest European nuclear sub base somewhere that has clearly opted to be part of the US defense program… hey, Scotland!
We need somewhere to test the Poll Tax/new minimum wage/biological warfare/etc. All true by th’way.
Loch Ness, starring Ted Danson. HAHAHAHAHAHA. “You’ll be another beastie hunter…” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Have these people ever BEEN to Inverness? I’m talking GREY URBAN ETC.
“Umm… Mr Tyson, we realise you’re fighting in Glasgow so maybe if you wrapped this plaid car rug around your waist you’d endear yourself to the Scots…”
“Highlander… do you remember our home, on the planet Zeist?”
Let’s put our biggest European nuclear sub base somewhere that really needs the employment… hey, Scotland! Let’s get a local village to put up a new housing estate for the workers… huh? It’s five years later? Okay, let’s employ an all-American workforce and house them in the base!
Maybe this doesnt belong here, but I gotta tell you anyway… It’s not really STUPID I guess, but it was soooooofunny,
We hosted a French exchange student one Summer.
We took her to the Mall, and I’m sure you’ve all seen those
just “Pretzels” stores…
Well we stopped to get a pretzel and the clerk asked her what she wanted. meaning garlic,plain,mustard etc.
She looked up at him and said… "pretzel, with EVERYTHING… we all looked at each other,eyes bugging,faces turning blue,trying desperately to keep from busting out laughing… We realized she had probably been told that in America, when theyorder hamburgers and hotdogs
most people will say "hotdog with everything… etc.
We decided to just let it slide and explain later so as not to embarrass her but, man oh man, it was just sooooo
funny to hear someone order a pretzel with everything and imagining the pretzel covered in mustard& ketchup & onions and pickles… LOL
It’s been 30 years since we lived in Europe (courtesy of the American tax payer), but it seemed then as if half of Germany was convinced that the Midwest was still the Wild West. “What do you do about the wild Red Indians?” was a consistent question, even from otherwise sophisticated Germans. The Public Prosecutor in the town where we were stationed had a real thing about Red Indians. I suppose this was the result of too many Karl May stories in his youth and garbled news reports about the American Indian Movement.
Gee, I suppose you don’t have any friends or relations who are visually impaired and have a difficult time making out what denomination their currency is, because the appropriate American authorities are too attached to the colour green to make your money any easier to tell apart.
And for what it’s worth, our money is blue, purple, green, red, and brown, in that order.
Let’s see… in Canada when I was meeting an internet beau, I was introduced to his friends. They were extremely rude to me as they believed that no American knew anything about their country and saw them as quaint and slightly dim.
I pointed out while we had chosen Dan Quayle, they had picked Kim Hunter and Bouchard. I then turned to my then guy and asked if they were normally this rude, or if this was their way of ingratiating themselves.
Then they proceeded to ask me questions about their country, such as the provinces, et al. I knew most of it, as I do read international news rather than the crap that passes for news in the US.
It was at this point that they softened and treated me like I was a Canadian. Needless to say, I was far from amused. I like Canada. I’d move there if I could afford it(and they’d allow me to immigrate). But, such a gross display of rudeness just blew me away. And yes, I do realize this was a pissy display by a few people in Vancouver, BC and not representative of the entire population. Well, except Quebec.
I don’t know if this is my “stupidest” example, but definitely the most annoying. I’ve heard numerous times from Europeans that San Fransisco is their favorite city in the U.S. - because it is so European.
I’ve then often replied that EuroDisney near Paris is my favorite place in Europe because it is just so American. It quite surely isn’t, but I like to hear their protests to that one.
Being a travelling sort of tyke, I can’t claim a single country as mine. I am very fond of all the ones I’ve lived in though and often rise to defend them. Of late, I’ve spent the last few years in Britain, and enjoyed them greatly.
I was in Houston last month, dining with some colleagues. The subject turned to good food, and one of my texan colleagues turned around and said:
"Britain doesn’t have any cooking of its own"
Now, this is a fallacy that I’ve heard repeated several time. It confuses the hell out of me, as I can think of several dishes I’d tried that I’d say were uniquely British.
What made it funny was that when I then asked him to define American cuisine his list included Hamburgers (German origin), Hotdogs (German origin), Pizza (duh), Fajitas(Mexican origin)…
Once, through some ill-judged sarcasm, I accidently had someone convinced that I used to ride a kangaroo to school. (I trained him with Vegemite. His name was Clacker. That’s the sound his balls made as they bounced on the ground.)
“You’re from Australia? I heard this woman say something terrible about Australia the other day. I told her she shouldn’t say it anymore to say it because it was too awful.”
“What was it?”
“She said that Australia was settled by convicts.”
“It was.”
(Horrified) “And everyone there is descended from these convicts?”
“Well, lots of people are.”
“Aren’t you ashamed?” …in the UK:
“Wow, I’d never have thought there would be gay Australians!”
“Well at least the British never treated anyone the way the Australians treated the Aborigines.”
While this guy may very just have been an asshole, there is a slight possibility that you were observing a typical case of Amsterdam Bluff. Amsterdammers are notorious for their exagerations and big mouths, and love nothing more than outbluffing the other party.
Again, it’s very well possible that this guy was a complete prick - just giving a bit of background here.
As a Dutchman, I do of course encounter numerous stereotypes about my country abroad. Some people think policemen are smoking a joint on the street as they are walking towards the nearest brothel for a quick afternoon shag. Our liberal view on euthanasia and abortion also make for interesting conversation abroad: we’re often viewed as homicidal maniacs who won’t rest before every foetus and every elderly person is wiped out. All this I can understand to a degree: we are a bit of a weird country to some, I suppose.
But I don’t understand why the French have such a stick up thei arses about the Netherlands. Not only the common man, but politicians as well. They will grab every single opportunity to bash our drug policy. They initially even refused to open up their borders for Dutch traffic, in complete violation of the EU Schengen Treaty. A few years ago, a group of 200 French mothers came to Rotterdam to protest against our drug policy, because “their children were heroine addicts because of the Dutch Narco State”. Never mind that hard drugs like heroin are just as illegal here as they are in France. Never mind that the relative number of heroin addicts in France is three times as high as in the Netherlands. Yup, it’s all our fault, because we let people smoke weed. :rolleyes:
