:D:D:D
Okay, I abbreviated this a bit – the man actually addressed me first, in English. I didn’t speak back in German (he was German, I know I didn’t clarify that in the OP) but in English, since that’s what he addressed me in. While it’s possible that his English comprehension was so terrible that he couldn’t understand me (I highly doubt this, since both his job would seem to require the skill and further conversation indicated no problems), the part I felt was stupid was that I was talking about vehicles I’d already seen in America, but he refused to believe that such cars could even exist in the U.S., since “everyone” drives enormous cars. (I don’t deny that many American cars are huge by European standards.) Also, he failed to answer my question with his response.
And thanks for the tip on Amsterdam Bluff, coldfire. Makes a bit more sense in the social context – I didn’t find it overly annoying anyway. Just thought it amusing that the guy thought he knew more (perhaps he was only half-serious and I missed it).
Well, I encountered someone in A’dam who was all puffed up and full of himself, convinced he knew everthing about America.
Oh, wait, that was Coldfire…;):p:D
d&r
Tourist from country X at the airport: “But I can’t see any kangaroos!”
“Say… you guys drive on the left! Isn’t that dangerous?”
“Tasmania is real? Do they use Australian money there?”
And Nicko was actually joking. We DON’T keep pet kangaroos. The local council is a bit funny about 20ft high fences. We only keep crocodiles, but they must be on a leash when we take them for a walk. Some small children ride them to school and tie them up outside while they’re in class (the children, not the crocodiles). The same kids like to collect the crocodile poo though - the Vegemite factory on top of Uluru pays good money for quality croc droppings - many a skateboard has been financed this way.
TheLoadedDog
Proudly descended from one Mr Bustard - pickpocket, convict, and owner of a cool name. 
I forgot the following classic rewriting of geography, usually committed by Americans (but by no means always).
“Scotland, in England…”
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Scotland and England are separate parts of a greater whole known collectively as the United Kingdom. Together we are the British. Refering to the UK as “England” is like refering to America as “Washington”, or to the European Union as “Germany”. It’s also offensive to the Northern Irish, Welsh and Scots, and embarrassing to the English.
I’d like this to be the new number one on my top ten as it’s count time here and the Conservatives are currently taking a kicking. I’m feeling sorry for them.
Ross, I once heard an English person make the same mistake (referring to Scotland as part of England).
Speaking of the English, I once had the pleasure of standing next to a couple yobs at a bar in Dublin (presumably on a stag night and also presumably on their first visit over) and overhearing this conversation:
“Oi, there’s a condom machine in the toilets.”
“I thought that was illegal here?” (n.b. contraception hasn’t been illegal in the Republic for 15+ years)
“Well, we won’t need them anyway. These Catholic girls won’t use them.”
I’m sure they were right about not needing them anyway :rolleyes:
Asian Indian fellow told me once that the proper way to speak English was the Indian-English because a billion Indian-English speakers made it democratically the most proper way. Majority rule?
Jack
I traveled in Germany with a friend who grew up there, and we spent our time with various friends of his. At each stop, we discussed possible return trips by the German friends, to see my area of the world (Michigan). And they wanted to know what there was to do in the Great Lakes area. I rattled off various activies and sights, depending on their interests, but always included a recommendation to see Chicago, it being one of my very favorite cities. But I always got the same weird reaction: a kind of startled stare, and “Chicago?” and some vague indication that such a trip was not going to happen. I never got to tell them about the world-class art museums, symphony, or restaurants. Finally, about the third time I got an incredulous reaction to the word “Chicago,” I asked why. I was told that the Germans thought that Chicago was full of scary gangsters, a la Al Capone. Apparently, they think that Chi-town is stuck in the 1920s.
The entire Simpsons episode where they go to Australia.
That backstabbing bastard Murdoch actually allowed it, NEWS Corp (An Australian Company) which owns Fox which owns the Simpsons allowed it to happen.
PerfectDark
Nicko, mate, that was a classic post.
“You speak very good American for an Australian.”
“Do you have a dingo?” (Yeah I DID have, but it ate my baby so I got rid of it")
MOST ANNOYING THING SAID ABOUT ME/MY COUNTRY:
“I really hate Australian accents. You sound weird” (That was said to me by a New Yorker. Luckily, my inferior accent didn’t stop me from taking his last $50 in a game of pool 
) woohoo!
Reluctant as I am to defend my compatriots’ behaviour overseas, it seems that their knowledge of the RoI was out of date, rather than just plain wrong.
panamajack,
Point taken, but I still think it’s churlish to blame the foreigner for the communication problems when he is speaking your language.
A nearly identical exchange happened with me back in '86 on two different occassions. Like you, one occured in what was then West Germany and the other in Denmark. All in all I thought it was a pretty funny characterization of the Windy City.
A few years later having moved back to Chicago after college, I found myself giving directions to some tourists visiting from Germany. I suggested a dinner-theater type restaurant on the near Southside that played up the old ‘Chicago Gangster’ period. I thought they might get a kick out of it.
Ahhhhh! I wondered what Foster’s was good for. It’s surely not fit for human consumption.
Same thing happened to me in France. I said I was from Chicago, and the guy’s face lit with recognition and he made pantomine tommy-gun gestures. However, he also knew Michael Jordan and the Bulls were from there, so at least we’re known for something else too.
So…what do you do about them?
All stated in Germany:
“You speak very good English,” said my exchange partner’s English teacher.
“I should hope so.” I said, looking at him with a look that could only be described as amazement. “I’ve had quite a number of years of experiance in the language.”
“No, no, I mean you don’t speak English like an AMERICAN.” Again with the look. “I mean, when I was in school, this American entered my class, and he was from Alabama. His American accent was so strong that it ruined the entire class’ accents.”
I explained to the man that A.) I have a pretty standard American accent. B.) Alabamans have SOUTHERN accents. C.) There is about 2000 miles between Alabama and Vermont.
I wouldn’t confuse an Austrian accent for a northern German, and I’m got a godammed German teacher!
Secondly: This kid asked me if I’d ever been shot at. After explaining to him that the town that I lived in was the same size as his own, and that the crime rate was more or less comparible, he still looked at me in disbelief.
“But I’ve seen it on TV. NYPD Blue, yes?” Oy.
I was playing poker in Las Vegas. A guy sat down next to me and started talking. The dealer asked him where he was from and he responded “Australia.”
“Oh, so did you get to see any of Survivor being filmed?” the dealer said in all seriousness.
The guy just looked at him for a second and said no. I nearly started laughing and debated between keeping my mouth shut and making fun of the guy for not comprehending the sheer size of Australia.
I took the middle road. “Um…you know, I’m pretty sure the point of Survivor was to make sure no one watched them while it was being filmed.”
In Spain, just last December:
Client: “You don’t have a president! What is happening to your country?”
Me: “Yes, we do have a president - Bill Clinton.”
Client: “No, I have seen it on the news! You don’t have a president! A judge will decide who is your president!”
Me: “Well, we don’t know who will be the president. But we have a president now, Bill Clinton.”
Client: “No, that is not what the news says. I’ve seen the news - you do not have a president. Why is America so bad, and not like Europe? At least we know who is in charge!”
Me: (Yes, the US is. 
) “Well, let’s look at this efficiency test instead, shall we?”
Client: (Crossing arms, smug smile.) “No president. How can this be?”
Me: (no brain - how can THIS be?) “Well…anyways.”
Ah yes, we took the high road, we only owned slaves.
15+ years out of date. A bit too long to be defensible, I think. Especially since these guys weren’t old enough to remember when it was illegal here. Ignorance, pure and simple.