Four times you’ve gotten my voicemail, which announces clearly, “You have reached the voice mailbox of Podkayne Fries. Please leave a message.” Four times you have elected not to leave a message.
Twice–twice–I’ve picked up, said “Hello?” and heard click.
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN?
I am pretty sure you’re looking for “Jeff,” who seems to be the previous owner of this number. Well, this is not “Jeff’s” number any more. Most of “Jeff’s” friends figured this out months ago when they got my voice mail, or when I picked up and, despite the fact that I said “Hello” in my my entirely un-“Jeff”-like voice, they stayed on the line and said, “Oh, I must have a wrong number. I’m trying to reach Jeff,” and I said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know who Jeff is, but he does not have this number anymore.”
So are you waiting for the day when this great cosmic error is corrected and dailing my number causes Jeff, or Jeff’s voicemail, to pick up? What kind of an idiot are you?
A guy named “Rusty” has my telephone number the area code over. I hate him and his jerkass friends who are incapable of remembering that the county they live in changed their area code 12 YEARS AGO.
Heh. My phone number used to be owned by a guy named Mike. At the time, I only had 70 minutes a month on my cell phone plan, so every wrong number hurt. After several months, this was my outgoing voice mail message:
“This is Mithril. This is not Mike. I don’t know Mike, and I have never met Mike. I cannot get a message to Mike. If you want to leave a message for me, Mithril, please do so at the tone. If you are looking for Mike, please try him at a different number.”
I went from getting messages for Mike to getting messages from Mike’s buddies talking about how my message gave them a laugh. At least somebody thought it was funny.
My very first phone number used to be held by a man named “Lucky”. Perhaps he was, perhaps he wasn’t. All I know is that none of the women calling at one o’clock in the morning believed me when I told them in my very female voice that Lucky didn’t live there, that I had no idea who he was, and I had no idea how to get ahold of him.
I always thought giving out made-up numbers was something women did.
When I first moved to graduate school, I got a new cell phone number. I don’t konw the official prior owner of that number, but the people who called me did not seem to get the point.
They felt like 2 AM was the perfect time to call. They would call, I would answer and tell them that they had reached the number they were looking for, but the person they wanted was no longer at that number. These morons would then continue to call every five minutes for the next half hour. I would have to turn my phone off to stop hearing it ring in the middle of the night. This happened for two months before they apparently got the new number or the point that they would never reach the person they wanted at that number.
I have a number that is close to a local doctors’ office that apparently caters to those with below average intelligence.
About twice a month I get a call for them. After answering the phone with: “Hello?,” I get someone asking if this is Dr. So-and-so’s office.
Hello, McFly, think! Do you know of any business that answers their phone with “Hello”?
I have also gotten one very detailed message left to my “Walrus, message.” voicemail, and I had one person launch into trying to set up an appointment after “Hello.” I have since decided that the next time this happens I will dutifully take down the appointment, put it on my calendar, and wait for whoever it is to show up at my office.
My phone number has also been given out by some moron Blockbuster customer who can’t return her videos on time, and is a personal favorite of a very determined fax machine.
I’m happily not afflicted by dumb callers… my favourite solution in the 5 minutes I thought about it was to take names and messages, and deliver them to the correct recipients. At 5am. In person, if possible.
Well…not regularly, but I’ve called businesses and gotten a new person on the phone who did answer with “Hello?”, forcing me to ask if it was a specific office. Alternatively, some receptionists answer the phone so unintelligibly that I have no idea what they’re saying. Could be “hello?”, could be “this is dr. so and so, how may I help you?”
I came home recently to find 5 messages (or was it 7?) on my answering machine. I thought something had gone wrong and someone was trying really hard to get ahold of me. (note: I have a pregnant sister-in-law, premature labor seemed not impossible- although why they wouldn’t have left just one message and assumed I’d get it and call back was beyond me).
So anyway, I was a little nervous when I hit the button for my messages.
and what do I get? Beeping. then More Beeping and then More* beeping* followed by * MORE BEEPING*. Finally, the last message was from the person who had been trying to send a fax to what sounded like my phone number. But, I don’t have a fax machine and don’t know that I was even the person the fax was for.
Fortunately no one has tried again since then to send me a fax.
There’s a local siding and roofing company that has my number associated with someone named Dan. I’ve tried to explain that they have the wrong number but they really seem to think that he’s just unavailable. Luckily I recognize the number and they’ve stopped leaving messages.
My home office number used to belong to someone named Marguerite. I don’t know whatever happened to Marguerite, but the local dry cleaners call faithfully every other week to let her know they still have her property.
Nevermind the fact that I have had this number for well over a year now and I have told them there is no one by the name of Marguerite here/this is a business line numerous times. I will give them credit for patience though- if it rolls to voicemail they wait through the long glurgish outgoing message before politely stating they are calling for her.
My parents’ phone number is one off from a pizza place. We got to the point where we’d just take their orders if they kept calling back. One would THINK that after being told three times that “We are NOT Domino’s” people would clue in. Silly me.
My phone number is evidently one number off of one for the local hospital. I also used to receive collect calls from a correctional facility. The caller on that one wouldn’t say his name. All he’d say is “pick up the phone”, in a more and more irritated voice each time he called back.
Years ago I got a toll free number for my pager. The number was previously used by a man who did some kind of repairs for a railroad (as I surmised by listening to his messages). He lost the number after not paying his bill (IIRC). I tried to be nice and I called him to let him know I was getting 3 or more calls for him each day.
He argued. Said I should contact my paging service and ask them to give him back “his” number. I told him it wasn’t gonna happen and he should take immediate steps to rectify the situation on his end.
Next day, same problem. So I called back the person who was trying to reach “Mike”, and I said, “Yeah, this is Mike. Fuck you. And your mother.”. Mike decided to give up his battle at that point.
I had this one guy, IIRC George who would call up my number looking for Steve. His number showed up on caller ID, and I think Steve’s number was the same but the area code was different. After a while I would answer, Hi George, what’s up. After some time he found out it was me and not Steve. A few times of that and he stopped calling.
[QUOTE=iamthewalrus(:3=]
Hello, McFly, think! Do you know of any business that answers their phone with “Hello”?QUOTE]
Around here, it’s common and incredibly annoying! Conversation:
“Hello?”
“Hello?”
“Is this ZBC?”
“Yes!?”
“Then why the hell didn’t you answer the phone ‘ZBC’?!!”
hangs up - calls competitor
We have the phone number of a former welder. He must have been one heckuva welder because we’ve had this number for 3 years and still get calls for them.
The old telephone number at the farm was one area code off from a hotel/resort up in Grand Marais. After years of politely redirecting callers to the correct area code my aunt and uncle took a trip up north and on a lark stopped in for a drink. The place was a dump and the proprietors unbelievably rude.
We started taking reservations after that little incident.
