Dear Jewelry Store With A Sign Out Front

[Inigo_Montoya]

Man, that Geek Squad thread was annoying even for me. And I’m pretty damned annoying!

[emacknight]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

Now this is how a parody thread should be done.

Well, technically speaking, maybe a little research before hand:

More than 100 Apple Store customers are victims of follow-away burglaries in L.A. region

HOUSTON – Brazen thieves target Apple customers: People who shop at Apple stores may get more than they bargained, according to police. At least six Apple customers in Houston have been followed home and held up at gunpoint.

Local man victim of ‘follow-away’ auto burglary

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

Clearly, the only reasonable answer is for Apple to rename its “Apple Stores” something less tempting.

[Inner_Stickler]

Yeah, but Apple-With-A-Brown-Spot-That’s-Kinda-Squishy Store doesn’t fit on the signs.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

Perhaps we could come up with a more wieldy acronym for “Consumer Electronics For Hipsters With Serious DRM Issues Showroom”

[Inigo_Montoya]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

Clearly, the only reasonable answer is for Apple to rename its “Apple Stores” something less tempting.

I see what you did there.

Maybe they could rebrand as, “Forbidden Machines.”

[Morgenstern]

@A Monkey With a Gun

What the fuck are you thinking?!?

I was out running this morning past a few small businesses and this store had this sign out front:

McGilicutty’s Fine Jewelry

What better way is there to say, “Jump me when I walk out of this store, I have a brand new diamond necklace in this bag. These giant diamonds are so awesome and high class that I needed a team of experts with a REALLY big sign to help me pick it out. And if I’m buying jewelry, you know that I have a wife or girlfriend, so you can follow me home and peek in the window when she’s in the shower.”

I get that it’s a great form of advertising, but certainly not for the customer.

IF we’re not careful, they are going to start posting “BANK” on those money businesses.

[emacknight]

This one’s even better (video)

Thieves break into cars at movie theaters, take garage door opener and registration information, then break into the home.

[emacknight]

@Morgenstern

IF we’re not careful, they are going to start posting “BANK” on those money businesses.

That’s crazy, no one would ever target someone leaving a bank or ATM, now you’re just being ridiculous.

[emacknight]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

Clearly, the only reasonable answer is for Apple to rename its “Apple Stores” something less tempting.

Maybe what we really need are some of those fake Apple stores they have in China. That way thieves won’t know if they’re going after real or fake ones. Imagine how pissed those hipster thieves would be when they got home and realized they had another worthless Dell.

[Freudian_Slit]

Is it just me or is paranoia big on the Dope these days?