Leasing company, would it have killed you to give us the bill for fixing our garbage disposal a little bit earlier? Perhaps a little closer to the date on which services were rendered instead of almost three months later? No? Oh well, then could you send us the bill a few weeks earlier than you did instead of six days before the rent is due with a note saying “This bill is due when your rent is due.”? That would also be too much trouble, you say? Ah, I see. Well then, you shall not be recieving the payment for the water bill for about two weeks. For, you see, advance notice of what amount is due on bills helps with this little thing called “budgeting,” and your surprise addendum screwed mine all kinds of crazy ways.
I have the world’s slowest developing cold. It started out with a mildly sore throat I treated with hot tea.
A day later, it was a more sore throat that was anesthetized with lozenges.
A day after that, a burning sore throat treated with lozenges and crushed ice.
A day after that, a less sore throat, but hoarseness and muscle aches, threw ibuprofen at that, all right, manageable.
A day after that, the throat was mostly okay, but the nose started running like a faucet, leading to raw “kleenex face.”
A day after that is today and now I have nasal/sinus congestion and new in just the last 30 seconds, sneezing.
My mother’s in week two of the damn thing and just now started coughing. I cannot be sick for two freaking weeks plus. I have things to do and people to see who are older and cannot be exposed to some mutant slow-moving virus that’ll be an annoyance to me but could turn into pneumonia or worse for them. I also need to see my aunt who has brand new preemie triplet grandchildren, but I can’t see her while I’m sick lest she carry the virus unawares and passes it to the fragile little babies. And I need to see her!
I should’ve Xicamed this damn thing on Monday.
Over every sink at work is laminated signage on how to appropriately wash your hand to help prevent spreading viruses. They state after washing your hands, use a paper towel to turn off the taps, and to use a paper towel to open the door, discarding the towel in the bin by the door.
Except, they removed all the paper towel dispensers, replacing them with the turbo driers.
Government efficiency, I tell ya.
My first rant of the year: Dammit, kittens, eat your kitten food and leave Lucy’s food alone. I have discovered the hard way that little Dot, when startled, farts. Rancid, room clearing farts. Farts so bad she even turns in a circle, sniffing, with a WTF? look on her face. Your tummy isn’t strong enough for adult cat food, and my stomach isn’t strong enough to deal with your funk.
Second rant (post one, get one free!): Child, I knew when you went to your friends’ house for NYE that there was a probability that you may get schnockered. Not a fan of it, but been there, done that. However, in my day we didn’t have Facebook / Twitter / Tumblr, thank heavens. Now that I have received a call from the Youth Pastor, two family friends, and your grandmother (heard through the grapevine, had to call!) informing me of your drunk “WHOO HOO!” posts… Why don’t you get that not everything you do is relevant?
my youngest kitty’s formal name began as Fragrant Jasmine*… she arrived on the first day of the Moon Festival and looks very like an Oriental Shorthair.
the fancy name kind of backfired…
Stinkiest. Farts. EVER!
she does not even care that she leaves clouds of stink in her wake. Nothing I have done helps. (/me fails to find nose-holding smiley)
*oh yeah… her personality earned her the third name of Mischief. We just call her Jasmine most of the time… when it isn’t “Dammit, Cat”!
Ah yes, death by kitten gas, I know it well. 
I strongly suspect the stench arising from the litterbox is what killed my frog last weekend. The two were within four feet of each other and the catbox smell has wafted upstairs a few times. My roommate wore a gas mask (really! he has one!) to clean the box today and he said that was a big help.
Little fucker was shorting out my electricity sporadically. Off and on with me calling the power company. Eventually I had someone open the meter base and pop his charred corpse out. He completely fried one of the connections and I had to get a new base.
He’s still kicking around the house now as a conversation piece, so it’s not all bad.
Wasn’t there another pussbucket whining about minirant threads a few months back? About why did we need more than one and why weren’t they in MPSIMS? User name Piss Stream or something like that IIRC. I’d swear SFG is doing an homage here. What’s the message board equivalent of a tribute band?
I couldn’t say. But I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t stand in line to see one, even at a low-cost venue like a county fair.
Two internet points to the first person to discern my ulterior motive with this post… 
I HATE those things. HATEHATEHATE! grrrr
Oh shit, I spilled my coffee/coke/apple juice. I’ll just run to the can and get some paper towe… Oh shit, no.
Oh fuck no, you’re not using half my box of Kleanex to clean up your damned coffee spill. It’s bad enough when Wastrel David over there takes five of them at a time, makes a half hearted effort to one-handed blow his nose into them and then reaches for more.
I bit my tongue yesterday. Fine, okay, me = dummy. At some point last night, though, I either bit it again - not hard, it’s swollen right where my molars clamp down, and I had particularly vivid dreams early this morning - and/or I rolled over and slept with my mouth open for a while. Sex-ay. At any rate, I woke up with a wounded tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. 
Ow.
Also, who authorized my panties to snag a pube like that just now?
Jesus, I would so tell this morning to suck my dick, if I had one.
So that’s what you do with a shitty novel…
Dammit people, we want our money! Short Version: We are owed at least $1200 and a pair of dumbass morons are directly responsible for the fact that we don’t have it.
Long Versions:
My husband teaches martial arts two nights a week at the local YMCA. His last session ended the week before Christmas. He was expecting to get his check fairly quickly, but I was reluctant to be so optimistic (what with the holidays and all). Turns out that my darling husband is such an airhead that he forgot he hadn’t been paid for the previous session either. Apparently, the gal who approves the invoices been sitting on one since November! WTF lady?? He works his ass off for that money and that’s what we use to pay for our car. So we don’t know if he’s going to get one check for late fall and one check for November/December or one big check for all 14 weeks and we have no earthly clue how long its going to take. GRRR.
Also, my college recently decided to change their student loan “refund” disbursement program. Used to be that you’d just get a check directly from the school. Now they’ve decided to go with some ridiculous online banking company called Higher One. It’s much easier for the school - they send info to Higher One, who then loads it onto what is essentially a pre-paid Mastercard, instead of having to process a couple hundred checks. I did all of my stuff before the holidays, and waited patiently for the TWO WEEK processing time to pass. I called the school yesterday because I still didn’t have my money. Oops! Apparently, my request “slipped through the cracks” and they never authorized my payment. Double GRRR!
GIMME MY TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS YOU ASSHATS!
THANK YOU for spamming the whole front page of this Flickr group with dim, blurry photographs of your ugly projects.
Fucker.
Insurance covers $250 for glasses and eye exams every two years. No, wait, they don’t reimburse the $107 cost of eye exams at all. Last time I went looking for glasses (i.e. two months ago), there were no glasses available for $250 (I could have gotten the ugliest pair of frames in history for about $100, but once you put lenses in, you’re well over $250). Reimbursing me $250 towards the $1000 I just paid for an exam and new glasses is a little bit like a kick in the arse, but hey, $250 is better than nothing, I guess. I’m not sure when my teeth and eyes got removed from my body (glaring right at you, Universal Healthcare), but what can you do.
Oh, that’s the second part of my rant - I hoped to go one year without paying $1000 plus on my teeth, but I guess that’s not likely now, since the crown I had done last January is starting to hurt. Again, the insurance covers maybe 50% of the dental costs (so it ONLY costs us $1000), and that’s better than covering nothing, so I guess I shouldn’t complain too much, but every single fricking year, it’s the same thing - some tooth needs an expensive repair. This year it’s looking like another root canal or two.
ETA: Forgot to say, I’m really not interested in hearing about how you get your wonderful glasses for $100 in your town. They are expensive HERE, and HERE is where I buy them.
So the person my co-worker’s been talking to outside for an hour is the same fucking person he has a restraining order against? WTF! Call the cops, you stupid asshole! She’d better not come back and shoot the place up or I’m going to show her where you’re hiding.
Cat Whisperer, I got my glasses for $8.95 at Zenni Optical. Nyeh nyeh.
You overpaid, Little Miss Moneybags.
