People shouldn’t be taking shits on company time anyway. Get back to work!
Dear Management,
You should have put the coat room farther from the mens’ room. Probably want to get those suits dry cleaned soon.
Apologetically,
Wet Hands Guy
** wipes tears from eyes **
I think I’ve never seen a rant thread derail in such a lovely and beautiful way …
Speaking of which… :grabs paperback, strolls off to bathroom:
Dear Employees,
Due to complaints about the paper towel dispensers, we have replaced them with hand dryers featuring the blowing power of a jet engine. As a bonus, older employees can now witness the true looseness of their hand skin as it waves in the dry, hot blast of air. Please be advised that Workers Compensation is not available for dryer-related deafness.
Thank you,
The Management
(True story. At least the part about the hand skin.)
Except I specifically stated that this was a NON-Christmas, NON-Wintertime set of mini-rants, um In the OP.
Better the OP front page be that than the political whining cesspool it usually is.
Heeee, well I’m enjoying it and am glad it’s done so :D! It wasn’t as if it were that earth-shattering an issue. Just because one CAN come unglued and swear a blue streak in the pit doesn’t mean one MUST!
You know what pisses me off? People who think everything should be the way they want it to be.
Non-Christmas, fine. (IMO we didn’t need a separate thread for *that *shit, either.) But the winter minirants thread isn’t for rants *about *winter; it’s just the catch-all thread for rants that happen *during *these few months. It’s like you saw a filing folder labeled “November 2010-February 2011” and said *MY GOD, THIS DOCUMENT WAS CREATED *IN *DECEMBER OF 2010 BUT IT’S NOT *ABOUT *DECEMBER!!! I MUST MAKE A *NEW FOLDER!!! And now whenever somebody goes into the drawer, they see two redundant folders. And then everybody else starts doing the same thing, and suddenly the drawer is nothing but a series of redundant folders. Get it now?
You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. Your minirants do not need their own fucking thread. I will, however, concede that this one has turned out pretty well, in spite of your tarditude.
Well, of course everything should be the way I want it to be.
(But I learned long ago that there’s no point in complaining about it.)
When I encounter overstuffed towel dispensers at work (maybe once every couple weeks) I pull out as many as it takes to unoverstuff it and throw them in the trash. Then I take out the 3 I need to dry my hands. Then I dry my hands. It’s a lot of fun, and pretty cathartic! I believe I’m sating a primodial instinct, like how cats and babies like to unroll a whole roll of toilet paper for no reason whatsoever. Highly recommended next time you encounter this.
I mini-pit my windshield wiper fluid in the winter because it makes no sense at all. I’m not sure if there are pockets of ice in the tank or WHAT. But goddamn, why it works one minute, stops the next, then works again when I hit the fluid button is beyond my ken. grr. I know there’s plenty of fluid in there, and we’ve had some warm days where it still wouldn’t dispense! rargh!
Tarditude? I GET that you want what YOU want on the first page of a given forum. But what makes you believe that posters you don’t want to read are then “retarded”? What an misguided attitude, and lack of an adequate vocabulary. The Dope has long had an attitude of “if you don’t want to read a thread, then don’t”. The fact that you feel entitled to not have to lift your widdle pinkies to click past a first page of a thread makes you the pwecious, unique, high-maintenance snowflake.
Switch to decaf sweetheart, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with silliness for silliness sake, even if it IS the pit, even if it IS a new thread. Calm yourself.
Didn’t you hear CanvasShoes? This thread is for minirants that *aren’t *winter-related.
It’s not that I don’t want to read these lovely minirants. It’s that you felt the need to make your own fucking thread for them, when we already have a minirant thread. That’s why you’re fucking retarded–because you can’t comprehend a simple concept like: “There is one minirants thread where all the minirants go. It gets restarted periodically, once every few months. However, the current one has not yet run its course, so your minirant should have gone in that thread.”
You’re being inefficient, and I fucking loathe inefficiency.
Deep breath, Guns. Deeeeeeeep breath.
Unlike you, I made the thread for fun and to see what other dopers thought, and because knew there’d be some funny clever answers by the dopers who are typically funny and clever, not because I was frantic to start a mini-rant. Would you have been as foaming at the mouth if I’d just left the “mini-rant” part of the subject heading off? It was merely an afterthought on my part anyway. Beyond that, this is a online board for entertainment purposes. It’s not your own personal neat little filing cabinet. If it’s upsetting you that much that things aren’t perfectly organized, or that, for YOU, there isn’t the appropriate amount of subject matter in a given forum, perhaps you need to step away from the computer for a bit and cut down on the caffeine, or steroids or whatever it is causing all of this unfocused rage.
You’re getting yourself awfully wound up over nothing. Despite your fears, there’s never been a time when the " whole front page!!! GASP, SWOOON!" has been overrun by mini-rants. At most there are two or three. So what? If other threads have dropped off of the front, they aren’t garnering that much interest. They’re not going to drop off if they are getting enough posters. A dead thread is a dead thread.
So, it’s not “efficiency” at all, if you were truly that worried about efficiency, you wouldn’t have wasted time posting to the thread in the first place. That’s just an excuse for you to be a snot about things. It’s that you’re a spoiled princess and you want what you want, when you want and how you want it. Logically, it wouldn’t matter if there were 15 mini-rants of different types here, for the ones that weren’t pulling much attention, they’d drop off just as fast as any other threads that people weren’t posting in. I don’t know what’s making you such and unhappy person, but I truly am sorry that you’re having such a rough time, whatever it might be.
I’m eating chocolates from our landlord. Mmmmmmmn.
No.
Horse testosterone. And my rage is quite focused, thank you.
So then I have to read two or three different threads instead of just one. Inefficient.
That doesn’t logically follow. If I can educate you, I can hopefully prevent you from doing this again, instead of starting a new minirants thread every single time you, personally, have something to complain about, because you’re too special to post in a minirants thread that someone else started.
My biggest issue with multiple mini rant threads is that I can never remember which thread has which rant that I want to reread.
Ignore it. She’ll just continue in this vein for several pages if you don’t. Her goal in life seems to be to monopolize every thread in which she decides to participate.
*Edited for grammar.
Thanks for the update chefguy gotcha.
I still can’t find my lost bottle of perfume and i am still pissed. If i go ahead and get a bottle of Sunflowers will it turn up or do i have to buy a bottle of what i lost?