Dear Loperamide and your 7-11 “Convenience-To-Go-Pak”: I do not carry scissors, a Leatherman, a machete, X-acto blade, nor even a mere butterknife in my car. Because your “Convenience-To-Go-Pak” is sealed in double-lacquered, Spotted Owl-reinforced, bulletproof (in)convenience bubbles, I was unable to claw a desperately-needed pill out this morning on my way to work.
Because your anti-poo antidote is carried in small “convenience paks” at fine retailers such as 7-11, this would suggest that a human purchasing said product is a bit desperate and as such should be able to use their basic hands to open your product while they’re on the go (because they “really need to go” and really need to make it to work). When I buy the Family Size Poo Remedy at CVS it’s a whole 'nother situation: I can take it home and open it at my leisure with my Ronco Family Machete.
Unless there are roving loperamide-abusing, roving 7-11 gangs that are slowed down by your Teflon-coated military grade packaging, I encourage you to revisit your utterly ridiculous packaging schema.
One of my migraine meds comes in a blister pack that requires a scissors. Fumbling around a dark house at 2am for meds with a blaring migraine is hard enough. Knowing I’m going to have to turn on a light so I can find, and use, a scissors is usually enough to convince myself that I probably don’t have a migraine and I’ll be fine by morning…I never am, it’s always worse.
This is one of the reasons I have Maxalt MLTs in my bedside stand. Super easy to open blister packs (it’s generic, so I’m sure I just got lucky) but they also melt in your mouth (and they’re minty) so I don’t even have to get up and find water. Just take one and fall back asleep.
My Triazipanatanwahteversam (sp) migraine med presents the same situation, I’m going to start de-blistering this and loperamide into an empty RX bottle. Grrrr!
Since it comes from a giant mega conglomerate pharmacy (OptumRx), I never know which packaging I’m going to get on the Imitrex (Sumatriptan). It being so difficult to open is what pushed me over the edge to get the Maxalt so I could keep it next to my bed. The Maxalt being so easy to open was a bonus. Otherwise I would have just put a little slit in the blister so it would be easier to open in the middle of the night.
Yeah, it’s gotten to the point where I have to stash scissors in multiple locations in the house and car. And I get one medication that comes in one of those “push down & turn” containers that will not open, no matter how much pushing and turning I do. I have to break the lid open with a large screwdriver.
I have the same screaming-at-no-one episode every time I have to deal with brand-x packaging. You know what I do? Push it right through the backing. It’s tough and the pill might break, but so what? It’s gonna break up anyway.
I take Metformin for diabetes and diarrhea is a common side effect. So on payday, I treat myself to the capsule kind. There’s always some in my glove box.
These little fuckers are so small and the backing so thick they turn into dust at the slightest push. I made it to the work potty just in time. As these things go,(snerk) someone stopped me in the parking lot to tell me an elaborate, long story. Which I didn’t hear a word over my brain screaming “NOOOOO, WHY’D IT HAFTA END THIS WAY, WHYYY?!!”
And this folks, is why adults shouldn’t eat Tostito’s bottled Vaguely Cheezy Fud Glop at 10pm.
Funny rant. And as a trivial aside, loperamide abuse is actually a thing. I went to buy some on Amazon and I became very curious because a large number of the listings were for between 800-3000 pills. And I’m thinking that’s some serious diarrhea. Or something else is up.
It turns out that loperamide is an opiate that mostly binds to the opiate receptors in the gut. Mostly. It’s sometimes used as sort of a home remedy opiate detox, and sometimes people get addicted after doing this.
And some addicts just try to use it for the high, because it’s really cheap - the price for 800 pills on Amazon seems to hover at around $10. But apparently you need 50+ pills for a high. It must be like pouring concrete into your lower intestine but I guess some people find that it’s worth it.
And can you imagine trying to remove 100 pills from that 7-11 packaging? That’s an addiction deterrent right there.
As a further aside, being an IBS type person, I carry these things around everywhere. I buy the mega bottles at Costco, and then just keep little stashes in each car, in every purse, in every bathroom, and anywhere the “urge” might hit me. It’s cheap and easy to open.
Very nice. I especially enjoyed “Spotted Owl-reinforced”.
I was going to point out that we had a recent thread that evolved into a discussion of loperamide abuse but Ann Hedonia covered that.
Goddamn, that is funny! Thank you, indeed. 