Dear Starbucks: We Don't WANT to Know What You Think . . .

[Eve]

. . . We just want bad, overpriced cofffee and muffins. Well, OK, I don’t, I eat at a diner and avoid Starbucks (not for any political reasons–I just think their coffee and muffins and bad and overpriced).

But I read this in the Times today:

STARBUCKS coffee cups will soon be emblazoned with a religious quotation from Rick Warren, the best-selling author and pastor, which includes the line, “You were by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense.” . . . [Starbucks] was widely criticized by evangelical Christian groups last summer after its cups included a quote from the writer Armistead Maupin that said, “My only regret about being gay is that I repressed it for so long.” Robert H. Knight, director of the Culture and Family Institute, one of the conservative groups that led the charge, said the company’s support for liberal causes made it an obvious target. Starbucks has long served up a New Age secular worldview," he said. “It’s about time that they acknowledged that 90 percent of Americans believe in God and that millions of them are Christian.” Starbucks executives deny that the company was trying to placate religious groups when it decided to add Mr. Warren’s quote to its cups. “We’re trying to show a diversity of thought and opinion,” said Anne Saunders, a senior vice president in charge of marketing. “There is not a quote that’s an answer to another.”

Soooo . . . They piss off the gay-haters (note I said “gay-haters,” not “religious people,” as I do not equate the two). Now they are pissing off atheists by teling us “you’re wrong and you’re ugly and your mother dresses you bad!”

Why the hell can’t they just stick to peddling bad, overpriced coffee? Why do they feel the need to tell us, “We at Starbucks like long walks on the beach and we hate, ummm, Ohio and cats and Tea Leoni and oh, yeah, atheists”?

[P.S. to Anne Saunders, senior vice president in charge of marketing: “theist” is not the opposite of “gay”]

[Rube_E.Tewesday]

I actually like Starbucks (the coffee, not the food so much), but I’ve never understood the little messages on the cups. Who looks to a coffee cup for life-changing advice? Besides, the little cardboard sleeves to keep you from burning your hand obscure the message anyway.

[astro]

@Eve

Why the hell can’t they just stick to peddling bad, overpriced coffee? Why do they feel the need to tell us, “We at Starbucks like long walks on the beach and we hate, ummm, Ohio and cats and Tea Leoni and oh, yeah, atheists”?

Aww… how can you hate anyone named Elizabeth Téa Pantaleoni? Their hate makes her sad and gives her a nasty tummy ache.

[Jackmannii]

@Eve

Why the hell can’t they just stick to peddling bad, overpriced coffee? Why do they feel the need to tell us, “We at Starbucks like long walks on the beach and we hate, ummm, Ohio and cats and Tea Leoni and oh, yeah, atheists”?

Starbucks is run by Rupert Holmes?

[Johnny_L.A]

@Eve

Why the hell can’t they just stick to peddling bad, overpriced coffee? Why do they feel the need to tell us, “We at Starbucks like long walks on the beach and we hate, ummm, Ohio and cats and Tea Leoni and oh, yeah, atheists”?

So in other words, you’re telling them ‘Howzabout a nice steaming cup of shut the fuck up!?’

[Ooner]

People actually read those things? They could be praising Satan for all I know.

[Revtim]

I like Starbucks coffee. I never noticed the gay thing, and I likely won’t notice the God thing either.

[Slithy_Tove]

Maybe they think that if you’re stupid enough to buy overpriced coffee that tastes like burnt rabbit poop, you’re stupid enough to take moral instuction from paper cups.

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

Actually, this is a fantastic tie-in opportunity for my latest business idea: InaniTeas, a line of herbal teas featuring obnoxious nonsensical sayings on each teabag’s wrapper. I’ll go ahead and give them a call.

Daniel

[guizot]

Well, the only time I’d go to Starbucks is when the 7-11 is the only alternative. Yes, a Starbucks coffee is way over-priced, and I can brew a better coffee myself, when I have the time. All the same, there are two things I question:

1. Since when has Starbucks had “messages” on their cups?
2. How has Starbucks become so widespread? They’re everywhere. How
   did they do that?

[Johnny_L.A]

@guizot

Well, the only time I’d go to Starbucks is when the 7-11 is the only alternative.

I like 7-11’s coffee.

[Squee]

Me too, I love 7-11 coffee… hell, I’ll even take McDonalds coffee over Starbucks anyday of the week.

Then again, I am a REAL coffee drinker… I’m not quite sure what the Starbucks stuff is… too much foam and other stuff… = )

[Revtim]

@Squee

Then again, I am a REAL coffee drinker… I’m not quite sure what the Starbucks stuff is… too much foam and other stuff… = )

You can just order normal coffee at Starbucks, which I find to be free of any frothy substances.

[chaoticbear]

If the nearest Starbucks weren’t 30 minutes away, I’d go get some coffee, just to read the little quores. And the make fun of them.

Also, I’m glad that the Starbucks muffins have gotten poor reviews. I always look at them and go “8 dollars for a muffin? I’ll take some coffee, TYVM.”

[Neurotik]

@guizot

1. Since when has Starbucks had “messages” on their cups?

I second this. Have they always had messages on their cups? I go to Starbucks once or twice a week and I’ve never noticed this.

Also, I like their cranberry and orange muffin. Very tasty. The other ones…not so much.

[uglybeech]

I just sent them an email on their website telling them to fuck off. Is that wrong? Because I feel better.

[MsRobyn]

@Left Hand of Dorkness

Actually, this is a fantastic tie-in opportunity for my latest business idea: InaniTeas, a line of herbal teas featuring obnoxious nonsensical sayings on each teabag’s wrapper. I’ll go ahead and give them a call.

Daniel

Sorry, Daniel, but Salada beat you to that.

uglybeech, telling a major corporation to fuck off is never wrong.

Robin, who is damn grateful to live in a Starbucks-free town.

[Larry_Mudd]

Robert H. Knight, director of the Culture and Family Institute, one of the conservative groups that led the charge, said the company’s support for liberal causes made it an obvious target. Starbucks has long served up a New Age secular worldview," he said. “It’s about time that they acknowledged that 90 percent of Americans believe in God and that millions of them are Christian.”

I’m confused. At the time of the original tempest in a swillcup, it was pointed out that there were cups printed with quotes from a broad spectrum of viewpoints. Jonah Goldberg was represented, if I remember correctly. Whatever.

The only problem with the Rick Warren quote is that caffeine isn’t nearly a strong enough central-nervous-system stimulant to make his pearls of wisdom seem significant: Pick up The Purpose Driven Life when you’ve got a head full of crystal meth – and then maybe it’ll be a life-changingly profound read.

[Chefguy]

I don’t understand the apparent need for some companies to foist off their dimestore philosophy on the consumer. Alaska Airlines includes a little card with a bible quote on it on your food tray. I always rip it in half and send it back (yes, it’s childish, but satisfying). A local light store puts a religion-oriented saying on their 30’ store sign every week. I don’t shop there. I’ve always hated being preached at about nearly everything and resent it being shoved down my throat by merchants.

[monica]

I don’t think it was originally meant to be anything more than an attempt to appear more sophisticated. Starbucks wants to project the image that they are the coffee of sophisticated people, so they take quotes and stuff that they think sound sophisticated and good and put them on their cups.