Dear Time-Warner....

The BBQ Pit
1

I had you in NYC. I liked having digital cable and Road Runner in New York. My roommate and I could also AFFORD digital cable and Road Runner in New York because we had jobs that were paid quite well. The fact that we couldn’t get SoapNet on basic cable meant that we were getting digital cable. And since the two of us have a strong affinity for the HBO and Showtime original shows, we got those channels, too. I was quite happy with the service.

Now I’ve moved to Ohio with my fiance. We only have basic cable because we can get SoapNet and the Game Show Network on basic (mr. avabeth is addicted to What’s My Line and Beat the Clock, we’re both addicted to reruns of Another World on SoapNet - I’m marrying one of the few straight guys who likes soap operas:D). We have no need nor desire for digital cable. Yes, I’d like to see The Office and Coupling and Monarch of the Glen on BBC America, but since EastEnders was cancelled, it’s not a pressing issue - I can get The Office and Coupling on DVD fairly quickly after the seasons are aired. And Monarch of the Glen seemed to be going a little downhill in the last season, so I can do without it. I have A&E, the History Channel, Animal Planet, and the Hallmark Channel (for MAS*H reruns). I’m fine with basic.

However, do you remember a few weeks ago? I called to get HBO because I couldn’t stand the thought of missing Six Feet Under. Do you remember what you told me?

“You do realize that you have to have digital cable to get the movie channels?”

Umm, no. Considering I’ve been able to get HBO for twenty fucking YEARS without digital cable, I’m not sure why it’s such a fucking trial to get it without digital cable now.

Look, Time-Warner. We don’t WANT digital cable. We don’t NEED digital cable. And we can’t AFFORD digital cable because it would most certainly double our cable bill. We have DSL that’s pretty fast, so we don’t need Road Runner either. We don’t need Time Warner Digital Phone. I don’t want ANY of your fucking extra services, so stop calling and offering them to us! Until you let me have HBO on my basic cable, you will get the same response from me. Let me have HBO and I might consider digital phone. Let me have HBO and I might consider digital cable. When our DSL is up next January, I might consider Road Runner, provided you give us a rate comparable to SBC. But until you let me have HBO, NONE of this shit even gets considered.

And there’s no sense in trying to convince mr. avabeth to get it. I pay the fucking bill, so if decisions are made on the cable bill, I fucking make them. Got that? So don’t ask if you can speak to my ‘husband’ when I answer the phone.

And guess what? We’re buying a house in January. So, if you don’t give me HBO before then, we’re going to say goodbye to Time-Warner and get DirectTV or the DISH Network (probably Dish because they offer pay-per-view episodes of EastEnders…yes, I miss it that much…). If you do let me have HBO, then we’ll consider getting digital cable in the new house. Until then, you get the same $46.50 out of me every month. And if I can find a way to have a dish in my apartment before then, you are gone. Considering someone in another building has put up a dish, I’m thinking we can, too. So soon, you may be getting $0 out of me.

All because you fuckers wouldn’t let me pay the $10 extra for HBO. I TRIED to give you more money. You didn’t want it. So guess what? Hopefully soon, you will get nothing. And I realize we’re inconsequential in your great world of cable, but you must want our business pretty badly if you call to offer us something new every day.

Ava

2

Stuff like this makes me wish cable companies were required to offer their channels individually instead of in packages, because I’d love to not have to pay for the sports and Spanish-language channels that I never watch.

Until I remember that if they’re forced to sell the channels individually they will jack up the per-channel prices to the point of making the fewer channels I want more expensive than the big package that’s chock-a-block with stuff I couldn’t care less about.

3

That’s the thing, though - I have no problem paying the $46.50 a month for the channels we do get, although we probably only watch about 10 channels out of 80. And I would be happy to pay an extra $15 to get HBO and/or Showtime (I miss Queer as Folk, too…now my dad watches it and he’s always telling me what’s happening, but it’s not the same as watching it when your 55-year-old Republican dad is telling you “Brian and Michael hooked up! I’ve been waiting for them to get together for months!” - he’s very liberal socially, obviously.) But I don’t want to pay another $40 for channels we will NEVER watch only to pay an extra $15 ABOVE that for HBO and Showtime. I know the plan is to force everyone to go to digital cable, but we’re trying to avoid that as long as possible.

Ava

4

Here in CT (and in NYC IIRC) digital cable is only a few bucks more a month. It certainly won’t double your cable bill.

5

We’ve checked. With digital cable, two televisions and two boxes, our bill would go up to somewhere around $70-80 a month. Add HBO to that (which is the only reason I’d get digital in the first place), and you’re looking at $80-85 a month. It may not be doubling it, but it’s more than we can afford.

I would love to have it for DVR, but $46.50 is about all we can spare right now.

Ava

6

I used to have digital cable from Time Warner. I constantly had problems with it (see the thread I started in GQ months ago). I got tired of being fucked over so I decided I wasn’t gonna have cable at all. I will not give Time Warner another cent of my money.

I do miss BBC America…oddly that’s about it. With Road Runner I was spending somewhere around eighty dollars a month…for one channel…that I only watched at night (I could give less than a damn about all of those “Trading Spaces” type shows that every channel on cable, it seems, is obsessed with). That’s it. I got used to it very quickly. I don’t like going to Radio Shack…and I don’t know where else around here to get an antenna (I haven’t looked too hard). Without an antenna I can hardly pick up any channels at all (of course I get Fox quite easily–worthless). Therefore, I rarely watch tv anymore. I am now reading the 100,202,291 books I have stockpiled over the years.

7

I read constantly, too - we have 6 bookshelves in the apartment and could use a couple more - I have upwards of 1500 books around the place. But I’m also one of those people that HAS to do two things at once. If I’m reading, I’m usually listening to CDs or watching TV. If I’m online, same thing. And I’ll admit, we probably do watch too much TV, but we enjoy it. Our nights are spent talking and watching TV. But I’ve considered going without cable - but since the channels we do watch are mostly ALL on cable, we’d hate it. I don’t like most network television (aside from Arrested Development, the Simpsons, and Gilmore Girls).

And my problem really isn’t the price - they can charge whatever they want. My biggest problem is that they won’t make a choice available to us without getting another product that we don’t want (which has been available for years) and that they keep calling to offer us all of this crap we don’t want when I’ve TOLD them that if they let us get HBO without digital cable, I’ll consider the other things they have to offer. Until then, no dice.

Ava

8

Maybe this is your punishment for not procreating on schedule?

:stuck_out_tongue:

9

Ooo I don’t like them either. And for no reason really, it just seems that something is wrong with this cable crap. I mean I can get like 1200 + channels for about $50 bucks a month here.

How many do I watch?

Less than 10.

I know the prices would jack up if I coould only buy those channels, but that’s wrong too. There’s got to be a better way to do this. I really liked the History Channel (well, certain shows). :frowning:

10

Avabeth, do you now have a balcony? A good view to the South-Southwest?

If so, it’s dish time baby!

Just check the websites for Dish and DirectTV, and they can give you the directions and elevations that you need from your location.

Alas, the direction and elevation for DirectTV from my balcony involves drilling holes through my neighbors balcony…

Your friendly neighborhood WalMonster will have good compasses for 4.95 or so.

11

No balcony:(. That’s the one downside to our apartment. However, someone did have a dish set up on the outside of our building - I haven’t bothered to check if it’s still there. And I’ve seen dishes in the neighborhood, so I should call my rental office. Believe me, if we can get a dish, we will.

And Eonwe :stuck_out_tongue: . Procreating will make us want digital cable even LESS!:smiley:

Ava

12

“(I miss Queer as Folk, too…now my dad watches it and he’s always telling me what’s happening, but it’s not the same as watching it when your 55-year-old Republican dad is telling you "Brian and Michael hooked up! I’ve been waiting for them to get together for months!” - he’s very liberal socially, obviously."

Brian and Michael hooked up!!! Please tell me this isn’t true, just an example you made up!
I love Queer as Folk but due to the same Time Warner issues I do not get Showtime or HBO so I am reduced to watching each season as they come out on DVD. I so didn’t want Brian and Michael to get together.

13

Seriously, I made it up, so if it’s true, I didn’t know! I’ve missed the past two seasons myself, so I was just giving an example of what my dad told me. He never said that to me - I was just pulling it out of my ass.

(I hope I didn’t inadvertantly just give away a spoiler - swear to God, I have no idea what’s happened in the past two seasons…I’m waiting for DVDs, too:)).

Ava

14

Brian and Michael did not hook up.

15

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Avabeth, I forgive you the mini-panic attack you insighted this morning
:wink: