Dear unemployment office...

The BBQ Pit
1

Your “job board”? The thing you make me register with, and maintain an active account with, in order to qualify for benefits? It is literally the most useless “job board” I have ever seen.

Job matches to my profile: 0. It has never been anything but 0.

“Near matches” are things like telephone sales and court reporting. You know, the stuff I’ve never done, have no training in, and really suck at. Never mind that I haven’t been at entry-level employment in oh… 6 years. If I’m generous. And did I mention I have no experience with sales? Much less court reporting?

Do you even have professional level job listings posted?

You’ll pardon me for being skeptical that you’re actually trying to help me beyond flinging a tiny bit of money at me.

Oh, and the security of the website sucks. If I say I can’t remember my password, the damn thing sends me an email, and then redirects me to a page with the password filled in.

…and as long as I’m here…

Dear UPS:

For the twenty-millionth time, a “delivery attempt” does not consist entirely of walking up to the front door and slapping on an infonotice. You have to actually ring the fucking doorbell so I, you know, know you’re there. I was home all morning, shit-head. Why did I never hear the doorbell? It works, believe me, my landlord just fixed it, and no one else seems to have this problem.

…and also…

Dear recruiter:

I like you because you’re the only agency who actually gets me work, even if it is only 3 hours a week if I’m lucky. I am, however, real tired of never, ever being considered for work that while entirely within my skillset, falls ever so slightly out of the pigeon-hole you’ve stuffed me into. Now you’re even sending out job postings for email marketing and not even calling me for it. Dude, if you can’t bother to call me even to stuff me in your freakin pigeon-hole, how can I expect to get anywhere near a job that might become full-time? This aside from the fact that by virtue of the fact that email design is very, very similar to web design, and I also have a book full of print design pieces, I am perfectly capable of designing things that aren’t emails, but every time I nudge you saying I’m interested in those too, you completely ignore me.

The job market is bad enough without having you guys sabotage me, too.

rrrrRRRRRRAAAGGGHHHH!#@#@!!#@!#@$

:mad:

2

Is your cat still crapping liquid poo all over the house? Because, man, insult to injury. :slight_smile:

3

No! Thanks for asking, he’s been great. After some trial and error (thanks again for the kitty food) I ended up with Eukanuba Sensitive Stomach, which he likes, and there hasn’t been poo of any sort on the floor in several weeks. The stuff in the box is normal. I’m no longer feeding brown rice, either… he started refusing it after about a week (literally… one day he gobbles it up like it’s the last food on earth, the next he sniffs at it and looks at me like “Uh, just what is that?”)

As an added bonus, he vomits much much less, too. I think this morning was the first time in about 2-3 weeks, whereas before it was usually about once a day.

It’s slightly more expensive (about $20 a bag instead of $15), but dude… no liquid poo. :cool:

4

Liquid poo is the second worst kind of poo. The first is poo that is on fire.

Anyway, sorry to hear about your job search problems, Kaio. Hopefully something will be available for you soon!

5

Yeah, the liquid poo was so, so nasty. Not only was it messy to clean up, and stink to high heaven, but–

[way, way TMI, you have been warned]

–it was all mucousy, too. It wasn’t just liquid, it was slimy. That’s the part that really did me in. Couldn’t clean it without dry heaving.

6

You must mean the Illinois job site. I get zero matches as well and I had to have them send me the password today. What a wanker site.

7

Fantastic! I mean, the job stuff sucks donkey balls, but it beats the hell out of liquid poo.

8

Sounds like a happy ending if I’ve heard of one.

9

I hear ya on the job board issue. Same in this state. Also, the local “job fairs” are nothing more than employers trying to pick up on cheap part-time office help. There are never any jobs for managers or professionals.

10

Having been forced to deal with both the Indiana and Illinois site, I’d say the problem is a bit more widespread than just one state. BOTH those job sites suck.

11

I went to the Indiana Unemployment site just for fun (please shoot me now, I’m getting too bored for my own good) I have to say at least Illinois has the option of filing online, and then certifying by telephone. I didn’t see anything like that on the Indiana site.

12

I can’t tell you how thrilled I was that I could file online this time around. I don’t think I’ve ever spent less than 3 hours at the unemployment office, no matter what reason I was there. I filed online in less than 20 minutes, and didn’t even have to leave the house.

Which is all sort of sad and pathetic, now I think about it… :wink:

13

My partner and I were driving around through the back roads nearby - not going anywhere, just exploring. We spied what we thought would be an excellent lookout point. When we got to it, it was perfect: a nice flat parking lot most of the way up a mountain, with a gorgeous view across the entire valley.

At the back of the parking lot was a boarded-up building. It appeared to have been recently closed; the plywood was unweathered and the signs unfaded. We had approached from the back of the building, so we had no idea of its function.

As we left, we passed a huge sign for the building. It was the county job center.

I hope no one needs a job around here.

14

Okay, I’ve tried to resist, but I can’t. How can you know where flaming poo ranks on the EW scale? Cuz if this is personal experience, I so want to hear that story…

15

my unenjoyment story.

had quite the fiasco this summer with employment and wound up working for a company in my line of work, the catch being that it wasnt going to be full time for about a month. so according to unemployment I dont need to search for work because I have the job starting in a month or less…get this, because I am working Part Time for the same company I now have to go look for a job…
the conversation went a bit like this
me: so youre telling me that even though I have a full time job starting within the month and I am doping whatever part time work comes my way from that same company that I have to go to other companies and look for work
useless fucktard: yes sir that is correct
Me: just so we are clear, you want me to go to a company, ask for an application, fill it out, turn it in, then when they call me for the interview you want me to tell them I really dont want or need your job because I already have one I am only doing this because unemployment is making me?
useless fucktard: that is correct sir

in my line of work I could get a job at just about any place I want around here, the problem being that I know all the places to work and I ALREADY HAVE A FUCKING JOB AT THE ONE I WANT ARRARARARRAGEGETGH

why cant they just give me some fucking money so I can pay rent and not starve?

I would have been better off quitting part time work and waiting til it went full time…seriously how fucked up is that?

16

Indiana will not let you certify over the telephone but they WILL let you certify on-line.

In my part of Indiana there is the further complication that one of the two “full service” unemployment offices in the county had a roof collapse, leading to massive, massive overcrowding at the other location. I say, hire some out-of-work tradesmen to fix the other place.

17

You are so right about the state job boards. It was the same in NH and in NJ when I was there.

And why would any employer post a professional job there? They’d only get people who are too clueless to use Monster etc. or who recruiters for some reason will not recommend.

18

Wow, your UPS guy actually walks the long long way up your drive way to put a notice on the door? The fucker who delivers my stuff hucks it from the end of the drive onto the porch. I know something’s arrived when I hear objects bouncing off the door.

19

Eh, no driveway. By the time he gets out of the truck he’s practically on my doorstep. (About 10 feet from the curb to the door.) However he can’t get into the lobby unless he rings me so I can buzz the door release. Clearly walking 10 feet is as much as he can handle – he might break his poor widdle finger if he applies it to the button.

Actually, it was funny. A couple hours after I had a Very Stern Conversation with UPS on the phone, I got a call back (which, seriously, never happens) saying that the driver would be by in 15 minutes. And he was. And he rang the doorbell. I answered on the intercom, and he said really quickly “I’m leaving it in the lobby okay!” I guess someone forgot to latch the door again. But he sure seemed in an awful hurry to run off before I could get down there. :smiley:

20

What in heaven’s name are you THINKING? That would make SENSE!!!