She’s not his pregnant wife, I hope, 'cus that would make her posts, and mine, totally bizzare…
Ha… no that would be too bizarre. It isn’t my business to explain the nature of their relationship, but I will say they know each other quite well.
Ah. Well, there’s a good chance that my post was entirely too snarky, given the circumstances, so I apologize to nyctea for being a bag.
However, I do think if you know each other that well, perhaps you should phone Ed and discuss your concerns with him IRL instead of ranting on a message board, assuming you two are friends and whatnot.
YMMV, void where prohibited, etc. I’ll leave now.
Please don’t apologize to her. Take out “…that you’ve never met…” and you’ve said exactly what several people who do know her and have also met EtH would also say.
Anita, you have a much younger sister. If your mom/dad had died when she was 16, and no other family would/could take her, and you had a good job and a house, I KNOW you would have taken your sister in. If you refused to, I would say the same thing about you too.
By the way, I wouldn’t say you KNOW me, Anita, and I certainly wouldn’t say that I know the OP well. That is not the case.
Is he going to come back to the thread? I don’t think he is.
Maybe he’s busy, or out of town.
I hope that’s it. I hope it’s not a matter of, he’d rather avoid an unpleasant discussion. Because he didn’t give his sister that choice.
Well, if you don’t know him well, why do you keep posting about his circumstances as though you have some unique, valuable insight?
And why do you keep doing it here? It’s really making you look like someone not to know in real life.
Although this saying usually doesn’t apply in the Pit, I’d say it fits in just fine here. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
Not to mention how much easier it is to TALK about completely rearranging your life to make room for someone than DOING it.
Best wishes that everything works out, Edward.
Here is the relevant bit that makes all the difference. Her mother arranged for EtH’s father (not blood related but still family) to take her, and HE AGREED. This is NOT a situation where “no one would/could take her” and so you’re comparing apples to oranges here.
I’m grateful that we mustn’t bring beefs we have IRL to this board. I will limit my comments to say that I find your posts here and in countless other threads in the past to be appalling. Your lack of sensitivity seems bottomless.
I do know you well enough to know to steer very clear of you. Once again I’m reassured that my instincts are right.
I can’t say for sure what I would do, if ever faced with this type of thing. I give the OP credit for laying it out here for advice and support. He gets alot of not so nice advice and support, too, but such is the nature of the beast.
Like others, I just want that girl to know she is loved and that she MATTERS. So many teens feel like they don’t matter to other people. She is ill-equipped to deal with all that is on her plate right now.
Just my maternal 2 cents, but I suggest counselling, a stable place to stay and if at all possible, for her to stay in her school and with her current friends.
Geez you go out of town and talk to a lawyer for a couple of days and it turns in to a train wreck.
First off, I never said, or meant, that I wouldn’t take my sister. If need be I would of course no matter how hard on me it would be. However, my father, who does not live in the exact same area, he only lives a few miles away. She will not be able to go to the same school, but she can at least keep the same friends. My father also knows my sister a lot better then I do. Even though he’s not the real father, he helps out my sister by giving her money, talking to her about sex, and all sorts of things that no one else would. He’s more of a father then anyone else ever could be.
Yes I have asked my sister where she wants to go, do you really think I’m that fucking stupid not to ask? She has gone back and forth about going to California or staying here in Maryland. She’s being a typical 16yo and not giving a straight answer. I know she’s got to have it hard and I’ve been supportive as I possibly can. But you know that’s hard when you’ve got people threatening to beat you up because I dare show up at lunch to see why my sisters crying. Or when people are taking things of your mother’s and you have to stop them so you can get a value and they cry saying you don’t care about your dead mother.
For the record I do care about my sister, I have been trying to help as best as I know how. I call my sister a lot more now then I ever have. I go to see her. I’ve taken her out for movies, dinner, all sorts of things to let her know we care.
If anyone wants to take over be my guest. You can deal with the aunts and uncles telling you every time you see them that the house belongs to your sister and you can’t have anything from it. Or deal with the other side of the family who keeps saying they want to help but don’t. They say they will take my sister, but when I take three days off of work, after the two for my mother’s death, only to be told they didn’t think she’d be staying with them.
But since the fine people around here seem so smart lets take a pole and find out who my sister should stay with.
1.) Me, the oldest, who will soon be getting married, expecting early next year, small house, and can move her to a totally different area. And just for the record I would be willing to take her in if need be.
2.) Her abusive father, who also drinks, has told her he doesn’t want her, doesn’t come to see her, and I’m not even sure where the hell he lives.
3.) My brother, who lives 1000 miles away and is working on his masters degree.
4.) My aunt who lives in my mother’s house though she doesn’t come home until 7-8 at night every night.
5.) My uncle, who has wavered on if he wants to take her or not, though he would be a good choice since he has a stable family, home and job.
6.) My father, though not the bio dad, has helped out, has a good job, home and family, and has told me a number of times, including not five minutes ago that he wants to take my sister.
If you’ve answered anything but the last two then you’re a moron. I know the ins and outs of the situation.
Hell I came to bitch about the people who are trying to manipulate me because they think they can. One day, when someone close to you dies, you’ll probably see how bad people can get over crap. I’ve heard about it but I sure as hell didn’t believe it.
My condolences. Please know that my thoughts are with you and your sister. I’m hopeful that she will end up in a loving home.
I thought my family would be different, too. Then my sister started getting mad at me for trying to help with things before our dad was even buried. Death and grief stress people out, and unfortunately they tend to snap at those closest to them.