I have a friend who lost her phone due to automatic flushing. It fell out of her pocket and flushed before she could rescue it. Although it may have not been worth rescuing anyway.
“She’s so lucky to find two guys in her life that have the 13 inches she needs to satisfy her.” 
To the people who preach that TV is a bad thing and they (almost) never watch it—I’ll turn off my TV when they pry the remote out of my cold dead hand.
To the doctor who’s insisting I get a heart sonigram because of a “functional” murmur I’ve had my whole life, just because HE has now heard it: bite me. I don’t have insurance. (And he knows it.)
To the woman at Redbox who challanged me for standing discreetly nearby…“Do you need to use this too or sumpin’?” then turned back to the screen and muttered “I don’t like you standing there.” I have added this to my repertoire of Deliverence-sounding utterances and have growled it whenever possible. Thanks.
Wait a minute. I just spent the whole day putting Christmas decorations up with a 20-month-old nipping at my heels, talked to her sweetly, didn’t snap or bark, fed the tummy and wiped the butt and dried the tears, redirected her attention constantly and didn’t break a single goddamn ornament… and there isn’t a major award for angelic motherly patience?
Fuck that. I’m going to Miami.
Sirius Radio
I am paying you so I can listen to music.
Not to DJs who talk about their personal crap, and especially not kim kardasian talking over a song.
I really don’t give a flying fuck where they’re from, how they like the weather, who they have and haven’t met, what concerts they’ve seen and blah blah blah.
If I wanted conversation I’d call somebody.
Just shut up and play music.
What stations are you listening to? I’m guessing you’re either on KIIS, a pop station or a talk station, but I’ve never had any issues, with (XM) 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, Jam On, Coffee House, Deep Tracks, Classic Rewind, Classic Vinyl, etc.
If you are listening to KIIS, I believe it’s just a regular terrestrial Chicago Kiss-FM station being rebroadcast onto the satellite system.
On 90s and Classic Vinyl.
kim kardasian or at least that is who she said she was was on 90s earlier today
WTF would she be on Sirius?
The other day the DJ on Classic Vinyl was running her mouth about something, I changed the channel.
I’m paying for music, not bullshit.
I know there are people out there who liked the whole DJs as personalities crap, I’m not one of them. It’s why I’ve always hated morning radio shows.
Then again I feel that way about newscasters too, just shut up about themselves and give me the news.
So, on Tuesday, the new movers are coming out to load my stuff up and will load the gunsafes into a Ryder rent a truck, which I’m going to drive to Houston. The movers will tow my car and my bike is already in its crate.
Nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan, right?
Nobody would mess with a single woman carrying enough guns to arm a third world country, right?
Actually, I do agree with Bill that I don’t need all those guns. Most of them were gifts, and the second gun safe stuffed full of really cool stuff came from a friend after her husband died. I only need 3, but I’m being stupid and stuborn, so won’t tell Bill that. We need to rip up some more books.
Automatic flushing isn’t about saving water; it’s about getting the toilet flushed even when the person who used it has a complex about touching the flusher thingie.
One time, at the worse job I ever had, we had to have a meeting so the boss could tell us all to not kick the flusher thingie because we were breaking the toilets.
As it turned out, it was the boss and her neices who kept breaking the toilets because they didn’t understand that if they touched the handle, they could then go to the sink and wash their hands.
Is the gun safe a safe for long arms? Maybe you could try and jam as much in there as possible and full the bulk with blankets so they don’t rattle around then lock it shut. Wearing a sidearm might keep them convinced to leave it alone.
Either that or put all the guns in the trunk of the car being towed so they don’t even know they exist.
I’m a channel surfer so it’s entirely possible I don’t hear it. I probably spend more time flipping though the stations then actually listening to the music.
What I can’t stand is Cousin Brucie. I hate listening to his stupid voice, I don’t want to hear what he has to say and I wish when the music came on the radio would show what song it was instead of “Cruisin’ with Cousin Brucie” so I don’t have to pull out my phone and Shazam the songs I don’t recognize. However, I do like the music he picks out so I just change it when he comes on and the flip back a few minutes later.
I thought one of the selling points of satellite radio was the absence of DJs, ads, and other annoyances of older-style broadcast radio (which I skip, since I hate both motormouth DJs and ads).
It’s a bit deceptive. They say they have (I’m making up the numbers here, but it’s close) 175 ad free stations. But what they don’t tell you is that they actually have 250 stations and that they other 75 are ad supported. I believe all the music stations are ad/commercial free, but the comedy/political/talk radio stations have commercials…a lot of commercials.
Actually, I take that back. Of the other 75 or so, maybe 20-40 are ad supported and the rest are sports stations that just aren’t on the air all the time but are reserved for their respective seasons.
ETA, from the website
140+Channels
71 commercial free music stations
40 sports stations
20 Talk and entertainment
6 comedy
20 News
12 Traffic/Weather
12 Other.
IIRC commercials you see on TV or hear on the radio will say they have “Over 70 commercial free music stations” or “140 channels with over 70 commercial free music stations”. You can see how one might think that when you buy this you’ll get 140 stations of nothing but music all the time or 140 stations, 70 with music, 70 with other stuff but no commercials. But then you hear the commercial again or check the website and see how it’s written.
You have entered the Lair of the Rat King, and have survived to tell about it. Traveling across a couple of states shouldn’t worry you. If anyone bothers you, just throw them in a fountain. Or into a shredder, feet first.
Now I’m curious…when you move here, will you increase the average number of guns that Texans own, or decrease it?
I’m sorry we don’t have your food item in stock. I get no satisfaction out of telling you this. Yet, somehow you think there’s a magic number of times you must ask before the answer changes. Stop being so dramatic. It’s not like I’m depriving you of a kidney.
Unless they’re asking for kidneys?
(ducks)
I for one am eagerly awaiting the new set of stories from your new home, flatlined!
Good luck on your trip. We’re all thinking of you and hoping you don’t have to shoot anyone on the way to Houston.
Although, if you *wanted *to drop by Shredder Guy’s house on the way to ask for your cutlery back, and happened to be armed at the time, we’d completely understand 
This is pretty much my situation as well. Except I’ve talked to him once or twice. He stands in the background and will bitch if I do something, but other then that he says nothing to me.
I have two girls, 6 and 4, both of who ask me why I’m not married to their mother. It sucks, especially since it’s been a few years now. I hope your daughter stops asking soon, mine sure haven’t.