I’m not talking about a wedding invitation or an audience with the pope. I’m talking about everyday, casual invitations to watch the game, come over for a swim, attend an after hours work gathering, or come to little Susie’s birthday party.
Someone I know very well absolutely cannot turn down such an invite without providing an explanation. Put another way, without *lying *about why we won’t be attending.
My position is this: I am obligated to communicate whether or not I will attend. I am under no obligation to explain or attempt to justify my non-appearance.
Her answer is usually something like this: “Well, we’ll see. I think we’re going to Edgar’s bagpipe recital that day, and there is probably an after-party with snacks and drinks. That probably won’t end until 9:00, and I also think Hector is coming down with something. So, we’ll let you know.”
Keep in mind that this is all said knowing fuck well we are not attending and are likely going to stay home that evening and catch up on Better Call Saul.
My answer: “I’m sorry, we won’t be able to make it, but thanks.”
So, when declining an invite, do you feel it necessary to provide an explanation along with your answer?