[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Can anyone name me a single sex act that ISN’T routinely filmed as inherently humiliating? For women, anyway. I think the proper beef (if there is one) is with porn directors, not with blowjobs. Personally, I think it all *looks *submissive 'cause we’re the innies, not the outies, if you know what I mean. Our bodies are meant to envelop and receive, not to penetrate. Emotions are a different matter.
[/QUOTE]
These are exactly the points I would’ve made if you hadn’t beaten me to it. Due to circumstances of physiology, the male role in sex is (or at least appears) inherrently more agressive. What the psycho-bitches in the article fail to realize is that looks aren’t everything, and that a good lover cares as much about their partner’s pleasure as their own. I love giving blowjobs, and by God, I’ll give my boyfriend blowjobs whether he wants them or not!
[QUOTE=The Weird One]
I love giving blowjobs, and by God, I’ll give my boyfriend blowjobs whether he wants them or not!
[/QUOTE]
I’ve had a few boyfriends who didn’t like them, but I insisted (and they liked them a lot more when I was done ).
I’ve felt submissive (and point out that a lot of the members of the patriarchy pay good money to feel submissive. And I get to do it for free). I’ve felt loving. I’ve felt powerful.
There’s a lot of…to use a borrowed term, power exchange in any sex. And what’s wrong with that?
Viva third-wave feminism, when women actually GET TO DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT THEY LIKE SEX, rather than being told on one hand that they have to, and being told on the other hand that they have to not.
It seemed to me, just a recount on arguements at various blogs. So one internet message board sends me to another site to read a recap of a people argueing about blowjobs? Al Gore did not invent the interet for this. He invented so you could send me photos of girls giving blowjobs.
[QUOTE=SmartAleq]
Are we talking about the same jaw and teeth that have no problem taking down a tough, overcooked steak here? Who’s got the power? Sorry for the reflexive twinges, guys, I’m just making a point, okay?
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Eva Luna]
I mean really, how condescending is it to say that women don’t know or understand why they are doing something that personal? That we don’t know what’s good for us?
[/QUOTE]
I’d say it’s probably pretty accurate, and not just for women. People in general rarely take the time and instrospection necessary to see why they really do what they do. Ask someone sometime.
“Why did you do that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Surely you must, what reason did you have to do that?”
“I guess I just wanted to.”
“OK, why did you want to?”
“I don’t know. That should be a good enough reason as it is, I can just want something can’t I?”
“Sure you can, but there is always a reason why you want it.”
“I don’t know.”
… and so on.
Maybe I am just not good at getting the final reason with people, but it seems to me that most people have no idea why they do most of what they do. Socrates was much better at figuring it out and he was one of the first we know of to really notice it. He would hang out in the central marketplace all day probing people as to the reasons they thought/felt certain ways and apparently it was usually a surprise to them when they discovered the answer.
It seemed to me, just a recount **on ** **arguements ** at various blogs. So one internet message board sends me to another site to read a recap of a people **argueing ** about blowjobs? Al Gore did not invent the **interet ** for this. He **invented ** so you could send me photos of girls giving blowjobs.
[/QUOTE]
Maybe I am just not good at getting the final reason with people, but it seems to me that most people have no idea why they do most of what they do.
[/QUOTE]
But for a blow job, why are “because it’s fun” or “because I like making my S.O. feel good” or any of the other reasons already listed above somehow insufficient? Not everything needs to be some sort of deep philosophical debate.
Sheesh, and I’m usually the one being accused of overintellectualizing stuff.
[QUOTE=The Weird One]
I love giving blowjobs, and by God, I’ll give my boyfriend blowjobs whether he wants them or not!
[/QUOTE]
I do feel constrained to point out that I, too, live in Boston. Just so’s you’d know. I’m just a T ride away. Just in case you were wondering.
Baby.
I do have to wonder about all this talk of all porn being humiliating to women. Perhaps my sample is self-selecting, but to me if the women in porn are not genuinely enthusiastic, and even aggressive, it’s just not worth watching.
[QUOTE=SP2263]
Submissive? That’s certainly not a feeling I’ve ever had in that situation.
[/QUOTE]
And I’ve certainly never felt dominant while getting a blowjob*. I don’t think I ever feel as vulnerable and completely overpowered.
[sub]*Well, except during S&M stuff. But that doesn’t count. So there.[/sub]
[QUOTE=AskNott]
How does one give an ironic blowjob?
[/QUOTE]
Perhaps we should consult Alanis?
I never know how to feel about the women who rail against blowjobs. A tiny part of me is amused that they think I am somehow being degraded or controlled. Most of me is saddened, 'cause they truly are missing out on some serious fun.
But, then again, I am more than slightly hedonistic. I make no apologies for it, either, so my opinions usually don’t count for much among the “non-blowjob giving” set. They usually just label me a hopeless wanton, who’s totally enthralled by her man.
[QUOTE=Eva Luna]
But for a blow job, why are “because it’s fun” or “because I like making my S.O. feel good” or any of the other reasons already listed above somehow insufficient? Not everything needs to be some sort of deep philosophical debate.
Sheesh, and I’m usually the one being accused of overintellectualizing stuff.
[/QUOTE]
Everything is complicated. Many times you have answered the 90% of the reasoning with something as simple as, “He likes it and it makes me feel good to make him feel good,” but not always. The women in those blogs, and definitely the Ms message board, for example, have a lot more going on.
[QUOTE=AskNott]
How does one give an ironic blowjob?
[/QUOTE]
It is exceedingly difficult to smirk by pressing one’s lips together in a twisted sneer of pure irony when your jaw is unhinged like a reticulated python gorging on a ferrett.
Can somebody paraphrase the article for me? I can’t seem to wade through all the finger-pointing and accusations of somebody enjoying themselves and not self-flagellating properly.
I’ve had a few boyfriends who didn’t like them, but I insisted (and they liked them a lot more when I was done 
).
