Otaku Loki said what I’ve been thinking.
Good thoughts for the whole family.
I’m not going to make a long post now, but there’s not going to be a gastric tube, a trip to North Carolina, or anything like that. He hasn’t eaten since maybe Wednesday because he was choking too much and couldn’t keep anything down. He’s had enough of this and said again that he wants to die. He has very little energy and he’s on a morphine IV for the pain. My mom is spending most of her time reading to him while my dad rubs his feet. My dad put it this way: “He’s the toughest man I ever knew, your brother. He fought with everything he had and there’s just nothing left to fight with anymore.”
My thoughts are with you and your family.
You and your brother are in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry. What inadequate words. too fast, too young and too loved to go. I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry. He is such an inspirational young man and it’s a shame how this is ending.
Wishing strength to all of you.
I’m so sorry, Marley. We’re here for you. Please lean on us as much as you need.
Marley23,
I’ve spent the entire morning reading about you and your brother’s story, including previous threads, which I did not know about at all until today.
As I was reading, the main thought on my mind was, “At least he’s got time. There’s probably more time than anyone realizes. Maybe Thanksgiving, even Christmas. It happens more often than not. At least he’s got time.”
Then, I reloaded this thread and saw your newest post. Dude…Ouch. Just Fucking Ouch.
I can’t think of anything to say except my pithy standard statements to anyone in a similiar crisis:
(1) There’s a saying that goes, “God never gives you any more problems than you can handle.”
(2) Whoever said the above, deserves to be kicked in the balls. Repeatedly.
(3) In the past, whenever one of my friends or relatives reached the final days, be it cancer or other long illness or serious injury, there was always a sense of relief that, finally, it will be all over soon. However, those people were aunts, uncles, grandparents, teachers, etc. – never a sibling or a youngster. I can’t imagine what you must be going through, having never been there myself, except there’s certainly no “relief” involved. I just can’t picture it.
I’m reminded of what Geddy Lee said in the Rush documentary Beyond The Lighted Stage, regarding Neil Peart’s own family tragedies: “We didn’t really know what to say, because the worst thing we could do was try and be comforting, when in actuality we were merely comforting ourselves.” Therefore, I’ll wrap this up – except to say, hang in there. You and Tyler will be in my thoughts and prayers, for quite some time, I imagine.
And remember: Ultimately, we all die. We are all dying, every day, a little each day. Not a damn thing we can do about it, but at least it’s a common ground that we all share, the one experience that connects us to every other living human being on earth.
All of us.
Marley, my thoughts are with you, and your entire family. Your brother has touched so many people. Tyler has fought valiantly through this entire ordeal, and he is an inspiration.
You know it’s coming, yet it comes so suddenly. I’m so sorry. My heart and prayers are with you, your brother and your family.
I’m really sorry, Marley. My prayers are with you and your family, and will continue to be.
No life is wasted if it is remembered with love.
Regards,
Shodan
You and your family are in my heart.
I’m so sorry. Peace be with all of you.
Oh no. I’m sorry. It’s been such a long fight for him. Peace to all of you.
I wish you all peace.
This is all bringing me back to when I lost my sister at age 32 to brain cancer.
A few posts back you said, “And in reflecting on it I realized that even in the state he’s in, I’d rather have this sick version of him than have nothing at all. I don’t want to lose him even like this.”
Now reading the update on your brother, it reminds me of when my sister began to go downhill and well, she just wasn’t “living” anymore. I remember the moment I thought, “I don’t wanna lose her, but she can’t stay …not like this.” I know you’re facing that moment too.
I hope for strength for you and your parents and that your brother somehow finds peace and comes to terms with this in his final days.
It’s hard to read a thread like this and not cry. It’s obvious you’ve been there for your brother like nobody else could. I suspect writing about it is more cathartic then you will ever know.
Having lived long enough to see a fair number of people go through this I’ve picked up some things that may help your brother. You can try freezing different flavors of gatoraid and then shave the ice with a child’s snow-cone machine or a salad shooter. The muted flavors of the drink are easier to consume if someone is nauseous. And as someone becomes bedridden they often appreciate a back-rub. I hate to even suggest these remedies because they represent end-of-life creature comforts but you seem to be the point-man for your brother’s well-being. If there are any road-trips left in your brother then you can travel at his call and listen to all the music you two have compiled.
I wish you, your brother, and your family the best possible outcome.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I really wish there were move I can do but send good thoughts to you and your family.
Hang in there Marley. Be comforted in the fact that Tyler’s suffering will end soon.
I don’t know how you maintain the strength.