I am very precise about my usage of language. All the words I use have a precise definition (my own defintion, similar but not exactly the same as in the dictionary) which no other word shares. Every word I use, except one*. Friend.
I have no clue what a friend is. I have friends, but I don’t know why they are friends or what it is that makes them friendly. So does anyone have a good definition of friend?
*Technically two. I also don’t have a good definition of love but I don’t use that very often and that’s a whole other can of worms.
I think there are different levels of friend, which is why we often have qualifiers, like “work friend”, “best friend”, “old friend”, “school friend”. What the word “friend” means in each can be really different. I see my “work friends” every day, but have some “old friends” and “school friends” who are really important to me but I hardly see at all. I have three best friends - my sister, my fiance, and my closest girlfriend.
My work friends are more than acquaintances but not maybe as close as some of my other friends. They’re great for cards at lunch, company on a smoke break, maybe beers after work. They aren’t call-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-with-an-urgent-crisis friends, though.
I think it comes down to for me is people who you like, and who like you, too, and with whom you spend time by choice.
“Friend” is one of those words that covers a huge spectrum. Some of my friends are people I talk to before class, all the way down the line to my best friend, for whom “brother” is almost more accurate.
I only use the word “friend” to describe people I consistently make an effort to hang out with even after I’ve gotten back to the safety of my inner sanctum at the end of the day–even, at times, when I’m not feeling particularly social. They are also the people to whom I can say: “Hey, look, I’m just not feeling all that social today/this week/this month. Maybe another time?”
Everyone else is an acquaintance–I may get lunch with them after class/during work, or do stuff with them when I’m starving for social interaction. And I have to make up an excuse if I don’t feel like being all people-y. It can take a long time to get from being one to being the other, and I’m really only able to hang on to so many friends at a time.
Of course, I am extremely introverted when given the freedom to choose my interaction patterns, so…other people’s sense of what a friend is is probably better to go with.
A friend helps you move
A good friend helps you move bodies.
You definition may vary, and I think it should.