It’s actually a good thing really, because then you can realize that many here have gone through or going through the same issues. Your specifics may be different but the feelings are pretty much the same. While you feel terribly alone, you have a grasp that you aren’t going crazy, there are others out there that can identify with your situation. This could give you some comfort and let you know that even in the depths of a deep depression, you can come out of it.
I am kind of shocked that you haven’t heard of St. Johns Wort. A few years ago it was all the rage in the media.
Essentially it is an herb that has similar properties to many synthetic depression drugs like Prozac. There are a few cautions that you should be aware of, like sensitivity to sunlight (which for most depressives in the beginning is a mute point.) Do a search on http://www.webmd.com or if it’s still around http://www.drkoop.com or other trusted sites to find out the information that helps you make the right decision.
I have used it and it didn’t help me personally. Again, not all meds or herbal remedies will help, it’s up to your individual chemistry to determine whether or not a medication will work.
Me, I used to get terrible panic attacks along with my depression. I tried Wellbutrin but it didn’t agree with me at all. It should have helped with the depression, my anxiety and my ADD but I became crazed on the stuff (ask any Doper here.) I use Kava Kava to help curb any potential panic attacks I might have. I also have cut out coffee in my diet. I do drink one cup of green tea or other caffienated tea when I get up but eliminating coffee has been a tremendous help.
That’s another thing, look to your diet. Try to eat whole foods. Try to eliminate any frozen foods or highly processed foods. I swear, this is one of the best things you can do for your body right now. You probably eat very little or eat too much, but if you can, eat as nutritious as you can. Mental stress can ravage your body, and it helps to eat right.
If you can, find a hobby you might enjoy. I don’t know your gender but it really doesn’t matter. Anyone can put together a model plane or car. Even some men learn to crochet, knit or cross stitch. There’s a 90 year old man in Pueblo that loves to cross stitch, he’s a retired old coot and doesn’t care that most men don’t cross stitch but he finds it theraputic and he puts out some award winning projects. Cooking is also a theraputic thing for many (myself included) the smells and the act of creating something can be soothing.
Sleep, oh how I love to sleep, even in my non-depression status. Sleep is great. I always read before I sleep, it takes my mind off the troubles that I have been focusing on all day. I would sleep for 13-15 hours at a stretch once I actually got to sleep. I found that sleeping was a great way to escape. I did however make my little list of things to do that day and even if I didn’t accomplish all of them, even doing one of those was a little boost.
Jet – you aren’t alone. Many of us here and elsewhere have gone through what you are going through. Keep a journal if you want, many are on http://www.livejournal.com and I have run through many who find it very therapuetic as well.
We are here for you, scream, cry, rage, do whatever you can to get back to the you you know. You are a strong person for having realized that you are depressed, many don’t see it and refuse to see it until it’s too late. I have seen many in my life lose all sense of reality, but you recognize it, which is a good thing.
Again, we are here for you.