Describe your favorite movie in the most boring manner possible

A nurse gets knocked up and runs off with an Army deserter.

A Farewell to Arms

A group of boring, pretentious people go on a boring, pretentious holiday.

The Sun Also Rises

A studly American bangs a hot Latina in his sleeping bag.

For Whom the Bell Tolls (Okay, I see this description could stand some elaboration. :pleading_face: )

A story that took five years to tell on TV is boiled down to 2 h and 10 min.

The Fugitive

Two women go on a road trip parodied later in an episode of The Simpsons.

Thelma and Louise

A dysfunctional family spends the Christmas holidays bickering.

The Lion in Winter

A deeply disturbed individual takes an orphan under his wing and involves him in questionable activities.

Batman and Robin

A disturbed individual embarks on a worldwide tour to make sure a project he launched years before is on track.

The Boys from Brazil

A free-lance journalist falls in with a tough lot while seeking vengeance for something that happened almost 20 years earlier.

I don’t remember them doing any fishing.

A scrappy fighter defends his girlfriend against the dishonorable intentions of a big mean bully:

The Terminator

I was going to guess Popeye. :rofl:

A young man takes up with an older woman in pursuit of success. Things do not end well.

Exactly my intention. :wink:

Sunset Boulevard

Right off the bat! :+1:

A Brit and a Yank collaborate to overcome improbable obstacles and wreak havoc on the bad guys.

We would have also accepted “A doctor who has been trying to help some children with an experimental medical procedure he developed is confronted by the government establishment that doesn’t want him to succeed.”

Three grave robbers have trust issues.

My thought exactly. These are from The Radio Times (UK listings mag) current edition and one previous. All are real and verbatim.

Elvis Presley becomes involved in the criminal underworld. (King Creole)

A mathematics genius struggles with schizophrenia (A Beautiful Mind)

Utterly charming Oscar winning slice of blarney (The Quiet Man)

An LA private eye becomes involved in corruption (Chinatown) (Improbably, the same film on the same channel next day is described as “Brilliant period thriller starring Jack Nicholson”)

Incidentally, my favourite (which doesn’t match the criteria of the OP) was

12.35 Carry On Cleo As 6.30 am
(And the 6.30 am description reads, in full, “comedy”. Nice bored writer/lazy editor combo, that.)

And I liked “Tame adaption of EL James’ best seller is more M&S than S&M” [M&S being a staid UK store where you buy socks and sensible underwear] - Fifty Shades Of Grey

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A teenager spends the week with his parents.

Back to the Future

A man misses his estranged wife’s office party.

Die Hard

And, if you have a couple of hours to spare, some Jews make clear what you probably knew already: they aren’t fans of the Nazis. No, not even Nazis who are just watching a movie; but you probably knew that, too. And, no, not even Nazis who are starring in a movie; and you probably knew that, too.

Inglorious Basterds?

That’s a bingo!

One word: “plastics”.

Young man sleeps with an older woman, then runs off with her daughter.

If no one responds to this, will there be the sound of silence?