Describe your job badly

For many years, I have worked a building nobody wants to come to. It is crowded and loud vehicles are usually outside. We sometimes stick tubes into people’s mouths and needles in their arms, then force fluid through them. Sometimes we give people electric shocks or wrap body parts in hard shells. They wait a long time, pay a lot and are usually grateful.

I work at a place full of old stuff no one wants any more. Despite this, people sometimes come in just to look at the old stuff. Just look at it, nothing else. Occasionally they ask questions about where it came from or what it represents. Other times, they tell me they, or a relative, used to have similar stuff, or remember using it in the past. All this seems to please them, for some reason. They even pay for the privilege of looking around.

Suicide in slow motion

I sit at a computer and press mostly number keys followed by mouse clicks and every once in a while employ the other keys on my keyboard to write an email to someone I could carry a conversation with, without either of us moving from our desks, at slightly above normal volume levels.

I would say that I am a babysitter of adults, but that would be describing my job accurately instead of describing it badly.

When I’m not flying miniature helicopters and airplanes, I spend large amounts of time telling people how long or how big things are.

Underpaid petty bureaucrat in the health insurance/industrial complex. All day long I do nothing that actually helps patients or providers; I just make providers jump through meaningless hoops to treat patients and keep staff on their payrolls just to deal with deal with us. I want out.

I copy and paste words into boxes to beg for money.

Husband. Father. Badly.

I count boxes using a spreadsheet

I indoctrinate young people in correct ways of thinking.

I use a computer to make virtual things that hopefully convince other people to buy physical things.

Retired now, but when I worked I was, in my own rather specialised part of the pharma industry, a very good filler-in of forms.


I do the impossible for the ungrateful.

I buy things for people. Sometimes I don’t even know what the things are for. I also do simple chores, to keep important people from having to do them. Everyone talks to me about their problems and I fix them if I can, or just make nice noises.

I spend the day having people lie to me, while putting considerable effort into making my job more difficult than it needs to be. Institutional communications and support at all levels is spotty at best. Management is outright hostile.

But the pay is good! :smiley:

I sit in the dark and wait for bad things to happen.

I make dust out of wood, metal, and lacquer. Sometimes the parts left over get sold.

I have spent the last 30 years designing equipment that makes it easier, cheaper and faster to download porn.