Designated Hitler

Maybe it’s the glasses, but by brain seems keen to amuse me by replacing words with near matches on first glance. I saw the ‘Designated Hitter’ piece as ‘Designated Hitler’ and instantly got a vision of people arguing over who got to be the Hitler for the day.

“Aaawww man, but you got to be the Hitler last time!”

My favourite was walking past a poster in London and cracking up because for an instant it read ‘Dove’s new masturbating creme’ - ‘moisturising creme’ was much less insteresting. Yes, I did get a lot of funny looks.

I figured I can’t be alone in this, so what’s your best misreading - or mishearing if you’re more prone to those?

Just had one tonight. Some class action lawsuit ad on the TV and I thought the words said, “If you’ve been treated for assholes…”…well, it was asbestos.

Come to think of it, I didn’t do that before my glasses. But they’re Armani, so I can see AND they make me snobbier…

I do this a lot. The funniest was when I passed a hardware store and somehow misread “light bulbs” on the reader board as “yul brynner.” :confused:

“Designated Hitler” would be a great name for a punk band.

I do this on this board CONSTANTLY. Especially late at night.

Anybody know who Bob Shepperd is? Picture him saying this:

“Now batting… the designated hitter… number 32, Adolf… Hitler. Number 32.”

WHen I was a kid, I was driving out of state with my mother, down South, and we whizzed past a restaurant that we didn’t have yet in New York City, a Kentucky Fried Chicken, whose slogan I misread as “It’s Fucking Good!”

I cracked up completely but couldn’t bring myself to tell my mother what it was I found so rip-roaring funny (see the “Did you ever get your mouth washed out with soap?” thread.)

I kept thinking the McDonalds bus ads for the “Big N Tasty” said “Big Nasty.” I mentioned it to my husband and he cracked up and said “Me too!”

I haven’t been to Yankee Stadium in a few years. Is he still alive?

Yep, Bob Sheppard’s still there.

You realize, of course, that they only use the Designated Hitler in the National Socialist League…

Zev Steinhardt

My dad came home from the gracery store bemoaning the moral decline of America… seems they had the gall to sell something called “Soft Bitch” cookies… I wonder if they were in the same area as “Soft Batch” cookies?

Mrs. Bernse and I were looking for some curtains (or was it a table cloth?) at Sears last year. We both saw, what we were sure was “White Trash” as a color choice.

Our double-take actually confirmed it to be “White Thatch.”

Yeah, happens to me all the time.

When you play baseball alone, you play baseball with Hitler!


When I was in England, I would always do a double take whenever I saw the fcuk store. Are they allowed to have such a name? Crazy Brits!

I used to work at a restaurant that used “Golden Crisp” oil in the fryers. For some reason, I misread it as “Golden Christ.”

We were cooking with the Lord…

This isn’t a visual thing, but tonight the boi mentioned his “genitalia” (you figure out the context) and I heard it as “gentleman tailor.”

Don’t ask me how that works. At least my going deaf is useful for amusement value.

As did I, and my parents, and my brother.

Fortunately, Bob Sheppard is still going. A year or two ago, he celebrated 50 years as the Yankees’ P.A. announcer. When they called him to the mic at the ceremony, I was amazed to hear that he actually talks like that. Whenever I imitate a public address guy, I try to sound like him. Nobody ever gets it, of course. :wink:

As a Red Sox fan, I can’t stand the Yankees, but Bob Sheppard is truly one of the great and most recognizable voices of baseball. I gotta get back there early next season while I can still enjoy him.

“Now batting for A. Hitler, Sir Oswald Mosley, the British Bulldog”

Seen on a sign while driving in Texas:

"Mom! Have your child’s picture taken with Satan!"

Creeped me out so bad I turned around, drove back by, and discovered they had mysteriously changed it to read: “Mom! Have your child’s picture taken with Santa!”

Ah, I love hearing how others’ minds twist things on them. Nice to know I’m not alone in this.

My all time favourite was a sign on a restroom door at a place I used to work. Since I wasn’t paying attention, what I thought I read was

Check your personalities before leaving

Naturally, I had to go back and see if I’d really seen that. Turns out the sign actually said

Check your personal items before leaving

I liked the first one better.