Detroit Lions fans- A question

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I am eating breakfast this morning reading the paper, when I stumble across the sports page. Not being a big sports fan, I generally don’t look at anything other than the headlines, but today I found myself looking at the NFL standings.

What the hell?

The Lions are 0-9?!? How is that possible? Has any team had a record like this in recent history?

Upon inspection of the statistics, I noticed that they were not doing that badly…Not great, mind you, but not the worst in any category.

So my question(s) is this: Why haven’t they won a game? Are they losing close ones? What does this team need to turn around? Is it POSSIBLE they might go 0-16?

I really need to start watching Sportcenter again.

Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons!
~Can you be so warm? Can you know what I feel? -Better Than Ezra

2

Because God hates us.

3

It really is a mystery to us, too.

Virtually this same team went 9-7 last year. And, were it not for a last-game, last-quarter implosion against the Bears, we would have went 10-6, and made it to the playoffs for the second year in a row.

New leadership (Millen and Morningwheg), and POOF! 0-9.

Why? I don’t really know. Morning-wood’s been completely clueless on the quarterback position, jerking Charlie Batch around, while not holding Ty Detmer (who you may recall as the guy who threw 7 interceptions in ONE GAME earlier this year) to the same standard. Since then, they’ve taken to playing the rookie third-stringer, Mike McMahon, for stretches in some games too, further pissing Batch off.

The guy takes too many sacks, and he doesn’t always get rid of the ball as quickly as he should in a rhythm offense. But he’s definitely the best they’ve got.

On top of that, they’ve had more than their share of injuries. Their top runner, James Stewart, has been out for like 3-4 weeks, and they’ve got NOTHING behind him.

Aside from Johnnie Morton, they’re down to their 4th string WRs.

The biggest mystery’s been the defense. They were really solid last year. They’ve had quite a few injuries in the LB corps and in the secondary, but they really, really suck. Look for new defensive coordinator Vince Tobin to get the boot in the off-season. I think the players have been really dissatisfied with his system.

This team really could go 0-16.

At least they’re doing something besides being mediocre, which is all they’ve done for about 45 years.

Why am I cursed with following this team?

4

Possible? At this point, it seems downright certain.

As for records this bad, the Chargers went 1-15 last season, IIRC. I’m not sure what their record was before that one win, though.

5

To answer your other question:

Only Tampa Bay, in its first year in the league in the mid-1970s, has gone winless in the modern era: 0-14.

A couple of teams (at least) since have gone 1-15. The Cowboys come to mind, before they started winning Super Bowls again with Aikman, Emmet and Irvin; and San Diego last year.

6

I’m not a Lions fan, but I think they will win a game before it’s over. Remember that just a few weeks ago, it seemed like the Redskins were destined for 0-16, and now they’ve won 4 in a row. The Redskins lost their first two games by a combined score of 67-3, and capped their losing streak with a Monday night loss to the Cowboys. Granted, the Lions don’t have the privilege of playing in the NFC Least, but there are some teams in the NFC Central that are capable of really stinking it up on any given Sunday. So it’s possible that the Lions too will make a late season run that will knock them a few pegs down on the draft board next year.

I haven’t followed the Lions too closely this year, but it seems like they’ve lost a few close games already. And they have this new coach who rides out of team practices on his motorcycle if he doesn’t like the way things are going–maybe it’s some kind of zen motivational hocus pocus psychological trick that takes a while before it starts working. Maybe he could start a tradition where he rides his bike up a ramp and jumps over school buses after any Lions loss–if the Lions have lost 3 in a row, he has to jump 3 school buses, if they’ve lost 9 in a row, he has to jump 9 buses, etc. As long as his motorcycle can clear all the buses, he gets to keep his job.

7

Thanks folks. I was really just curious, and it has bugged me all day for some reason. It just blew me away, that with parity, salary caps, etc. that ANY team would be this far behind.

I hope you all see better days soon, it can’t be much fun watching your team go down the tubes.

On another note, how is attendance at the games? Management isn’t trying to pull some stunt for a new stadium or anything are they? I.e, losing games, attendance drops, and you begin to hear cries of “We need a new stadium!” Or worse yet, “We need a new city!”? Maybe I am just too much of a conspiracy theorist…

8

Actually, the city of Detroit is right in the middle of construction for a brand new stadium. The city decided a couple of years ago that what the city really needed to boost tourism and commerce (besides the new casinos, that is) was to build new stadiums for both the Tigers and the Lions. Comerica Park (The Tigers stadium) opened last year and the new Lions stadium is due to open next year, 2002. They are calling it “Ford Field”. Never mind the fact that, IMHO, neither team actually deserve a new stadium because they both suck, but I digress.

9

Nah, I’m with Juniper. God just hates you.

C’mon. He didn’t even take this long with Job. :wink:

10

Y’know, at this point I think Charlie Batch is Job.

11

Well, I watched the game…Damn.

I really thought they were going to make it.

Maybe God really DOES have it in for you.

12

Okay. I generally don’t like Detroit and think it would be amusing for them to go 0-16.

But that last “incomplete pass” that was called where the receiver caught it and then got two feet in the end zone should have resulted in what one of those normally is: a touchdown. I don’t know that it would positively have changed things, but it at least might have given the Lions a better shot at tying things up, though that last bit is probably Batch’s own fault for overthrowing a bloop pass.

Don’t like Green Bay, either, FWTW.

13

Actually, I think it’s all my fault. I used to live in Detroit, now I live in N.C. AARRRGGHHHHH!!!

14

Personally I’m hoping it’s a major tanking job to look so pathetic that Barry feels guilty enough to come back.

15

Y’know, I’m hoping Wolfman’s right. Didn’t they talk to Barry at halftime? Did he seem…interested? At all?

Really, though, I think that touchdown was Thanksgiving football karma for the coin toss thing with Pittsburgh…two years ago? Three?

Regardless, that non-call really did suck. :mad:

16

You think God hates the Lions? Consider that even if they do go 0-16, as pitiful as that is, they still wouldn’t get the first pick in the draft. How’s that for a slap in the (bag-covered) face?

17

Kinda off topic: What was the deal with those uniforms both teams were wearing? Some type of special holiday thing?

18

Yes, check out http://nfl.com/features/2001/thanksgiving/tradition.html for the reason why. MLB baseball usually does this about once a year as well.

[sarcasm]I’m sure being able to sell more jerseys has nothing to do with it.[/sarcasm]

19

Who’d want to buy those eye-damaging Packers uniforms? Gaaah.

20

LOL! I would love to hear a player say that!

If they win, they give their god the credit. If they make a big play, they pray. If they’re a good player, they say they owe their ability to generate millions to their deity.

How about the opposite if they lose? “God liked them better” or “My god, why have you forsaken us?” or “Their god is more powerful, I guess.”