Detroit Lions fans: It's the end of the line. Pick a new team.

I can’t imagine abandoning my team just because of the head coach. But then again I’ve had Parcells, Coughlin and 4 Superbowl wins in my lifetime. Makes the sting of not making the playoffs hurt less. That and the fact that Dallas didn’t make it either.

Well, only because he died. In spite of that, I still wouldn’t put it past Dan Snyder to dig him up and rehire him anyway.

Take a look at the Lions’ past half century+. This isn’t just about the current head coach. This isn’t about not making the playoffs this year. This is pathetic loserness deeply ingrained in the very fabric of this organization. They are worse than the Cubs. The Cubs are Lovable Losers. There’s nothing lovable about the Detroit Lions.

This franchise takes superstars, or potential superstars, and consistently chews them up and spits them out with nothing to show for their superstar, or potential superstar, efforts. Ever. For decades now. I’m done getting my hopes up over these guys, I’m done thinking “This is the year,” I’m done participating in a fruitless annual circle jerk of naivety.

We get to watch Calvin Johnson’s career get eaten up by it now too.

I don’t know what’s worse, ending your fandom because they hired Jim Caldwell (Really? That’s the straw that broke the camel’s back?!), or jumping ship to an in-division rival.

I terminated my Rams fandom when they moved to St. Louis in 1995. It’s taken me 19 years and I’m still not quite a 49ers fan yet.

Wow, it has been that long, hasn’t it?

The one that kills me is Barry Sanders retiring rather than go back to the team. Perhaps on the downhill side of his career, but still one of the best backs in the league and he walks away.

Really, I’d rather not get paid millions of dollars and set the NFL yardage record if it means playing for you losers.

Let me hop into my time machine so you can pick a better date for me to do so. Believe me, if I could get the past 30-odd seasons of being a Lions fan back, I would.

And like I said, I used to live in Chicago, and fell easily into following and rooting for the Bears before. Plus, it’ll give me a chance to root against the Lions twice a year when watching football with friends and family who are sadly still Lions fans.