i’m a college student. So on Monday my friends, Jenn and Katherine, and I go into the dining hall eat lunch. Then we stole the largest pumkin, it was there for decoration. Then threw a sweatshirt over it and walked out. Yeah thats not the least bit obvious. I think we are planning to do something meaningful with it. Like write “government” on it and throw it off the fire escape. Really just to confuse people and to make it look like we had some meaning behind it.
this is what we’ve brainstormed so far, we’re looking to make the list at ;east an even fifteen (pun intended).
Carve it out, wear it on your head and run screaming around campus.
make a bong out of it
give it a mullet and protest sign protesting the merciless slaughter of thousands of pumpkins each year, could also scribble in “the end is near”
fill it with mice and roll it down a hill on campus
do the head wearing thing but chase after a person threatening to “carve them”
drag it from a car
hold it for ransom from the college
Make pie….mmmm pie.
hollow it out, pour in that expanding foam you mix together, I can’t remember what it’s proper name is, you can get it at home depot, leave the pumpkin somewhere on campus and watch in delight as the foam expands to 50 times it’s original volume and makes a helluva mess for someone.
Make a support straps so you can wear it around your front waist. Have it positioned in front of your groin, go around campus asking girls if they want to see what’s inside your pumpkin, imagination required
blow it up, leave a small note inside that says something to order or “the next one will bring true anarchy to this cesspool”
make jack-o-lantern, place cheap toy store walkie talkie inside and place pumpkin in high traffic area. I leave dialogue to your imagination.
carve it, bring it to an exam, constantly ask it for answers to the test. Loudly
Oh, I like these. I like these a lot. I don’t know that I would ever have had the nerve to go through with #13 but #12 I would have done in a heartbeat. I would do it now if the people at my job had any kind of sense of humor at all…
Once a friend and I found this weird sort of stuffed doll that had been torn in half. It was like the bottom half of a Cabbage Patch Kid only larger and homemade. We found it out in some mud by the dorm, and for some reason decided to be all covert and smuggle it into the dorm in a duffel bag. You would have thought we were smuggling a dead body the way we were acting.
So we get it up to her room and decide to write POLY on one foot and SCI on the other. I know, it makes no sense. Then we took a passage from her mythology book and wrote it out on a piece of paper that we scrunched and burned to look like old parchment. Then we took pictures of each other with the “baby” in a variety of positions, including with an umbrella. Then we put the baby on one of the toilets in the ladies room, with the mythology message taped above it.
The next day it was gone and no mention was made of it. It was a mystery for the ages. (Yeah, we smoked a lot of weed in those days. )
I still have the pictures, they’re very weird, but funny in a “you had to be there” kind of way.
22: stab with knife in public area, spend 20 over-dramatic minutes lamenting it’s death (acting skills required)
23: throw it at random person’s head (yay concussions!)
24: start rock band with pumpkin as drummer, get angry at pumpkin on stage for missing beats, kill pumpkin drummer with knife, look scared/guilty, run away as audience stares in awe.
25: hollow out pumpkin, dress out as kitten/dog, fill with urine, place in public place and poke small hole in bottom of pumpkin.
If you need to blow off steam at someone, take the pumpkin, stab it with a knife and write “You” on it. (With apologies to jack handy)
26: Take the pumpkin to a series of places where No Pumpkin Should Be!™ Take photos. E.G. smuggle the pumpkin into a movie (to continue with the smuggling theme). Smuggle it into a strip club. Climb a tree and hang the pumpkin at an unlikely angle from a high branch. Smuggle the pumpkin into church. The Girls locker room. Post the pumpkin’s exploits, along with photos, on a blog.
27: Team up with some engineering students to build a pumpkin launching device (catapult). Fill pumpkin with something fun (expanding foam, shaving cream, gasoline if you’re so inclined). Launch it somewhere sure to cause a spectacle.
28: Contrive a way to make the pumpkin mobile and controllable by remote. Maybe an old R.C. car or something. Combine with idea #12 and let the fun begin.
29: Fill with some disgusting concoction. Offer people a quarter if they drink some.
