Dex's caution to pissed-off posters

About This Message Board
1

In some CS thread (doesn’t really matter which) Dex has this to say to posters who are starting to get into some personal invective:

[QUOTE=Dex]
Moderator interveneth ::: OK, both of you know that this kind of imputation of motives and name-calling is NOT PERMITTED in this forum. Both of you will stop it, NOW.

Please, folks, when someone starts this kind of thing, DO NOT REPLY IN KIND. Simply REPORT it, and let the moderator deal with it. Once you’ve replied in kind, then you’re both violating the rules. Moderators do NOT like to waste time figuring out who struck back first. If only one side is swinging, then it’s easier for the Moderator and easier on the victim.
[/QUOTE]

This point cannot be stressed enough, and I wish it were stressed more. The last time I was admonished by Dex, about five years ago, I think, it was for precisely this: someone got a little pissy with me, I got even pissier back, and **Dex ** admonished me (and me alone), making me feel doubly aggrieved, as if I were being scolded when I had only defended myself. If I had done what **Dex ** says here, I would have probably been far better off and saved myself a whole lot of aggravation.

Actually, I think **Dex ** admonished me a few weeks ago, but he had mistaken my tone and promptly apologized, so that didn’t count. But I think this rule should be prominently displayed here, as it’s a good one, even better than DNFTT: this is DFB (Don’t Fight Back) and I think it would make for a more peaceable forum.

2

Excellent points.

I think some posters misinterpret the objective of the “no personal insults outside the pit” rule. It’s not that we are attempting to protect the delicate sensibilities of our members; it’s that insults lead to hijacks that can derail threads. Allowing two (or more) posters to get into a scuffle is distracting to the main point of the thread and not fair to the other posters.

If you feel someone has insulted you, report it and let a moderator deal with it. If you are dissatisfied with the moderator’s response, or you are sufficiently incensed that you prefer to deal with it personally, take it to the Pit. There is no reason to retaliate in the thread itself.

This is the same rationale as the “no political, religious, or professional jabs in GQ” rule. We’re not particularly out to protect people’s feelings, but rather to avoid situations where people feel compelled to retaliate and thus hijack the thread.

Some people misguidedly seem to think that reporting posts is being a “tattletale.” Reporting posts is essential for maintaining the quality of this board. It’s as much a moderator’s responsibility to deal with insults as it is to move threads that are posted in the wrong forum.