Ms O’Malley, I realize you’re a highly skilled professional with advanced degrees in criminology and computer science, but damned if you don’t have the most luscious pair of tits I’ve ever seen! :o
From Sharkey’s Machine:
Sharky: You all right, partner?
Arch: Of course not, you asshole. I’m shot!
“I can’t wait to see this jerk get a life sentence. Too bad it’ll be at least a couple of years before that happens.”
Strap that sucker in the chair and fry him Extra-Crispy!
Law & Order:OKC - “We ran out of lethal injection drugs!? Eh…just use Drano.”
What a waste of human life!
…And we see he’s wearing a Buster Keaton outfit…
(Okay: am I crazy, or did that actually happen in a WWII movie? Something like “What Did You Do In The War Daddy?” but apparently not that movie. Keaton is a German officer, but at the end, walks away and takes off his uniform, showing his traditional comedian’s outfit.)
(Aha! “War Italian Style,” I think. Wonderful stupid war spoof! Here’s the exact scene!)
(Morgan’s bones, but I love the information age!)
“…but not before racking up several hundred thousand dollars in uncovered medical bills that would have to be paid out of the estate. Frankly the shooter did the widow a real solid here.”
Also this.
Hilarious article! Go Onion!
Bugssy Malone!
*
Reporter: Have you located the splurge gun yet, sir?
O’Dreary: I’m afraid I can’t answer that.
Reporter: You’re not at liberty to say?
O’Dreary: No, I don’t know the answer.
*
Ever see The Fighting Seabees? :dubious: “Nips” is **mild **compared to
“If Tojo and his bug-eyed monkeys try to come ashore, we’ll kill 'em!”
Such were the times. If you were around then, you’d probably have used such language yourself.
There was also a Dead End Kids movie that had a scene where a Japanese-American was chased out of his grocery store after Pearl Harbor. Leo Gorcey (I think) said something like
“Go ahead, guys, it’s open season on Japs!” :eek:
Superior to Joe Detective: This case is outside our jurisdiction! You are immediately turning it over to the Feds/MPs/county–understand?? It’s their case now. You go on home.
Joe Detective: [del]No way, sir! If I can’t go after the perps myself, you can have my badge! <slams badge down on desk>[/del]
<with a smile> Of course, sir, whatever you say. I need to catch up on my golf/sleep/paperwork/chores around the house anyway.
Barney Miller was probably the best TV series in showing that police work was mostly about paperwork.
Bad guy abandons car and runs down alley.
Joe Detective turns to kid/girlfriend/rookie. “Stay here!” he barks, as he slams the car door takes off in hot pursuit.
Kid/gf/rookie stays put.
This thread is filled with wonderful suggestions for that exciting new Fall 2016 offering:
This is the City: Anti-Trope Squad
Each week we watch the dedicated detectives of the Squad as they work on dozens of open cases at the same time, knowing that few if any of them will have any real resolution.
eta sample dialogue:
Jones: “Captain, I’m going to need Friday morning off–my kid’s teacher has called me in for a conference.”
Smith: “No way, Cap, you said I could have that morning off for my granddaughter’s wedding fer chrissake!”
Captain: “Look, we all have kids and we all need time off for them, but we don’t get it because if we don’t get this paperwork filed by the end of the month we will all be out on our cans without our pensions.”
If only he’d used his genius for niceness, instead of evil.
I keep coming up with these… Do I watch too many cop shows? Probably.
Joe Detective to Superior: “I know you’ve got me on the Smith case and the Mayor is demanding an arrest ASAP, but I’ve found an important clue in the Jones case and I know I can put that one to bed if you’ll find someone else to work on Smith. Do I have your permission, sir?”
Superior: “Joe, I trust your judgment and I’m not going to second-guess your instincts. By all means, throw your energy into the Jones case and you’ll have all the department’s resources behind you. I’ll put Bob on the Smith case and smooth the Mayor’s ruffled feathers, too.”
Captain: Joe, you know when you use the vernacular term “cop”, you diminish us both.
Captain: And why do you insist on carrying that Smith Chief’s Special? You know we’re all supposed to carry Glocks now.
Joe Detective: Dammit, Captain, I told you wearing that Glock makes my hips look a mile wide!