Dialogue I'd like to hear on a police procedural show

*After massive violent shoot 'em up between cops and bad guys. Ambulance lights and patrol car lights flashing. Cops milling around. Bodies all over the place. *

Superior: Joe, that was some bloody awful mess. How are you doing?

Joe Detective: [del]I’m fine.[/del]
*<wiping his brow> *Cap’n, I’m no wimp, but I don’t mind tellin’ ya that I’m feelin’ kinda shaky.

Superior: You know, after something like this, it’s department policy for the officers involved to see the counselor for a few visits.

Joe Detective: [del]I **said **I’m fine! I don’t need any shrink. Just doin’ my job, which I’d like to get back to, sir, with all due respect <stomps off>![/del]
Thanks, Cap’n. I’ll be glad for the opportunity to talk to someone about it. Working through something like this will make me a better cop in the long run.

“Y’know, Cap’n, maybe we should just have let those guys get away with the loot. I mean, the bank was insured and everything, and the gang couldn’t have spent a lot of the money before screwing up and getting caught somehow. Was all this really worth it?”

“Now that this huge crisis/serial killer has been put to rest, I’m retiring. Immediately.”

I remember watching Kenneth Branagh’s Wallander series and being struck by how the titular detective really takes it hard when he shoots and kills someone. He definitely doesn’t shake it off and blithely move on to the next case.

I always wanted to see/hear John Wayne’s Marine Sergeant character say:

Cap’n, if those lousy Nips want this goddamn chuck of rock so much they can have it. I’m catching me a ride back to the fleet. Fuck this!

And then, as he’s walking back to the beach where the landing craft are, he drops his Garand, takes off and drops his helmet, and piece by piece peels off his web gear and lets it fall to the sand.

:: Yes, I used racist language, but in a WWII movie with John Wayne as a USMC Sergeant, that’s the word his character would have used. ::

We lost a good man today in the shootout. And the worst part is that today was his last day before he would have died of a massive coronary.

True story: During the briefings prior to the invasion of Iwo Jima, after being told of all the natural hazards waiting ashore, one poor Gyrene raised his hand and asked “Why not let them keep the island?”

You should watch Scott & Bailey. Srsly.

Also seen there:

“Hey, you know how you blew off proper procedure because you ‘just had a hunch’ and ‘didn’t have time for red tape’? And you see the godawful mess you’re in right now? Yeah, we have policies and procedures for a reason

I remember that episode! :cool:

(Of course, after some time they all tend to blend together… :frowning: )

“Draw up an interview strategy!”

“I just received a phone call. Of course, it didn’t have anything to do with the case at hand, so we’ll talk about it later.”

I’ve seen them all.

We’ve studied the killer’s methodology, it’s our opinion the unsub will not kill again.

Call it a policeman’s hunch, but breaking the law to arrest this guy will just make it impossible to prosecute successfully.

File under “Justice delayed is justice denied”:

With all due respect sir, I am NOT cancelling my wedding to stay on the case!

The lab’s pretty backed up; they say the DNA and tox screen results won’t be available for at least 4 weeks

*The only way we’ll ever catch this guy is if he screws up *

“Do you recognize this customer?”
“No. I get hundreds of customers a day.”
"He was probably here two weeks ago.
“Why would you think that would help me remember?”

ETA. BTW, when I last was called for jury duty, the first thing the DA said was “Don’t expect things to go like they do on TV.”

“I’d like you to meet your new partner. Like you, he has years of experience and a reputation for doing everything by the book.”

Saw a middle of the run L&O the other day. Asking a guy questions while the guy was operating machinery, the cop said, “Hey! Turn this thing off, we’re conducting a murder investigation!”

Don’t forget to tune in next week, when detectives Statler and Waldorf complete forms GA225/c through f, and make a start on form F662.

I have to wonder how often police even bother to go to a guys job for an interview. A friend of mine was once a possible eyewitness to a crime of some kind. He got a letter in the mail asking him to come to the station for an interview as a possible witness.

Sarge … this high-speed chase shit is really dangerous! Since the Police chopper has a fix on those guys and there’s no chance in hell of them getting away, what say we, you know, kind of … back off, just a little?