My wife has been dropping lots of not-very-subtle hints about getting diamonds for Christmas. She and I both know that’s not going to happen, but I thought it might be fun to get lots of cheap diamond related stuff for her stocking. My ideas so far:
That’s all I got. Any ideas or suggestions?
Don’t forget Diamond Dave!
A deck of cards has a lot of diamonds!
Actual diamond coated drill bits!
I think the diamond gag gifts are a good idea if followed up with a real diamond. Just the gag gifts alone maybe not, depending on your wife’s sense of humor. I know so folks who would be in deep trouble doing that. YMMV
Get a ridiculously oversized cubic ziroconia (the cheaper-looking the better) ring/tacky earrings.
That’s what immediately came to my mind when I saw the thread title: 1/4 of a deck of cards. 
This would be enough for me. Man, I love those almonds.
What about argyle socks? They have diamonds on them.
Not exactly what you asked for, but what about a synthetic diamond? I understand that dealers can’t even tell the difference without special equipment.
I dislike the term “synthetic diamond”. Laboratory produced diamonds these days are real crystal carbon. They can only be told apart from mined diamonds because those grown in a lab have no inclusions.
Back To The OP
Mistubishi makes cheap canned food using the familiar logo and the name Three Diamonds.
Springfield mayor Diamond Joe Quimby
A small replica of a baseball diamond.
How about Selma Diamond?
In addition to drill bits there are diamond coated saw blades.
Speaking of games, there is:
This one is hard to find in the US:
Brian
The price difference is not that much. Maybe $1500 instead of $2000.
A lump of coal, on those hand-strength exercise things and this
I forgot to mention coal. D’oh!
What about-
Some useful carbon- graphite lubricant.
Or get a cheap ring somewhere and glue a carrot to it.
How about some White Diamond.
Or a copy of the Screech sex tape.
Seems like the cash you’d spend buying several Diamond gag gifts would probably buy you a small diamond pendant or small diamond earrings.
That being said, maybe some memorabilia from Diamond Shamrock? An ashtray, a trucker cap, something like that?
If phonetics is your bag, here’s a one-carat diamond pin.
This might be a possibility!
A pin from a black diamond ski run.
What 19 posts and no one mentions the obvious choice?
Dustin Diamond - AKA screech on saved by the bell has his own sex tape:
“Screeched – Saved by the Smell.”
Sorry if I ruined Christmas
