I put the word “blog” in quotes because that term didn’t even exist when it was written. It was more of an online diary.
It was incredibly compelling, though. The author was on a path to self-destruction, detailing his experiences with many drugs and peppering most entries with the fact that his ultimate goal was to try heroin.
Though it wasn’t my thing, he seemed to be a rather Christian type (I’m just adding that in case it sparks someone’s memory).
He finally did get to try heroin, seemed to love it, and then the diary just sort of ended. If I had to guess, I’d say he pawned his computer.
If I’m not mistaken (and I could be after all of these years), I believe his diary was hosted on Compuserve.
The Internet Wayback Machine provided no results.
The way he wrote, though - it all seemed so agonizingly real, and I wish I’d saved a copy of his entries when I had the chance, but I didn’t.
Does anyone know if this exists online anywhere today, or what became of the author?
Do you have anymore info? Country/state/city he was in, stuff like that? It might make it easier to search for it, there are a lot of drug addicts out there.
Edit: Was it “jayefbee”, by chance? He did an online journal and his reviews on Amazon are for things like Touched By An Angel and In Search of Purpose.
I think it may have been jayefbee.
There’s a link referencing it on this page, but the link appears to be dead.
I typed the url of the link into the Internet Archive, but my browser didn’t seem to let any of the links load. My browser’s been wonky lately, but maybe with a normally-functioning browser you’d be able to see something.
'Sall I got.
Yeah, I guess you’re right about that. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t jayefbee, as he lists his location as the U.K. The guy I’m thinking of was definitely American, but, beyond that, I don’t remember if he ever narrowed his location down any further.
Sorry - this was so long ago that it’s hard to remember a lot of details, but the excellent writing style (at a time when such a thing was incredibly hard to find online) and almost gleeful self-destructive tendencies exhibited enabled me to remember it for about a decade now.
I do remember that the verbatim title of his site was “Diary of a Drug Addict,” but that hardly seems to be an uncommon name. The other thing that stuck out, as mentioned in the OP, was his almost obsessive desire to finally score some heroin and get himself hooked on it (and no, he didn’t have any illusions as to his fate - he was ready to be a junkie). It was such a bizarre and intriguing mindset.
Sorry that I don’t have much else that I can give you guys to go on. This one seems pretty close to impossible for the Internet detectives out there to track down. I think you’d pretty much had to have read it at the time and been as blown away by it as I was in order to remember more details and find the thing (if it exists in any form at all anymore).