Comes now the mighty hunter. I had no idea that you were such a sportsman, Dick. I feel I can call you Dick, since I now feel I have your true measure.
So you flew to PA on AF2 and transferred to a Hummer with your fave shotgun, and my how cute and manly that all is, and drove off to a chicken-oops-pheasant ranch for some “hunting”, where they released 500…yes, that’s right…five hundred overstuffed, domesticated, barely-able-to-fly ring-necked pheasants for you and nine other “sportsmen” to “hunt”.
Safely ensconced in your blind, with a pleasant pheasant buzz-on, I’m sure, you and your pals bagged 417 birds. Four hundred and seventeen. You, Dick, personally downed 70 of these wiley creatures. Did you supersize your magazine or were the birds so fat and unsuspecting and completely confused to be suddenly brutally assaulted after a life of feeding and fucking and sleeping that you were able to reload at your leisure? Let’s see, five in the tube means you reloaded 14 times, assuming that you are a crack shot and hit one bird per round. Fourteen times. What a man. Why didn’t you just visit Foster Farms and have a go at the chicken coops?
Tell me, Dick, did it satisfy your bloodlust for the time being? Was it enough gore and slaughter and death or should we be looking forward to the bombing of another 3rd world country in our immediate future? My disdain for you and what you stand for knows no limits. Dick. It’s just such and appropriate name for you.
Is this a parody, or are you really worked up over some birds getting shot? If the latter, I have a hard time getting worked up over it: I don’t think entertainment is that worse a use for a bird’ss life then McNuggets.
Now if Cheney was shooting adorable puppies flung from catapaults, well now THEN I’d be pissed, I would!
::slap:: ::slap:: Okay, try to pay attention here. It’s not about the birds, okay (although I object to this sort of ‘ranching’ on principle)? It’s about brutality and mindless bloodletting and excess. It’s a window into the dark pit that is Cheney’s soul.
I come from a long line of hunters. Just about everyone in my family hunts. I ate venison from my childhood, and my favorite toy was a rabbit-tail tied to a bit of string. I have no problem with hunting.
Of all those hunters in my family, I only know of one who EVER kills more than he will eat. Grandpa takes two deer a year, and gives the meat to the poor widows in his church. Yes, really.
70 pheasants isn’t hunting, it’s slaughter just for the sake of killing. It’s icky. Unless, of course, Cheney is planning to give the meat of 68 pheasants to the poor widows of the Republican Party.
My initial reaction to the OP was a lot like Metacom’s, but… Jesus, four-hundred and seventeen pheasants? What the fuck? Where’s the fun in that sort of slaughter, unless the slaughter itself is what’s getting your rocks off? That is seriously disturbing. I’d love to hear a rationale for this, because right now I’m seriously skeeved out by our VP.
Jesus. I got no beef against bagging a few birds (heh, not what you think UKers) for the table and freezer, but this whole hunting country club concept is disturbing. A real man doesn’t do that shit.
Sen. Cornyn said the hunting was was "kind of like how Tyson’s and Pilgrim’s Pride and other people do it. I must tell you that people don’t necessarily hunt the same way in Texas that they hunt in Ligonier, Penn., but it was enjoyable.
Naw, more likely he was visualizing the pheasants as liberals, Democrats, antiwar protestors – you know, evil unpatriotic scum like that. POW! “Take that, Howard Dean!” POWPOW – “Gotcha, Ted Kennedy, moveon.org!!” POWPOWPOWPOWPOW – “Refuse to back our play, France? You’re fried now, hahahaha!!!”
I have nothing against hunting, but that ain’t hunting. That’s just killing for the sake of killing.
I had a friend who used to have a summer job on a chicken farm. He said one night he had to wring the necks of 30,000 chickens. He said it was the worst job he ever had.
Sounds like it might have been Cheney’s dream vacation.
I don’t think even Ted Nugent would be impressed. But then again, maybe he would.
I can hear it now, Oh Father, are you going to the food bank tonight? I would just love some more government cheese and government pheasent. Oh, and Father, do try to get one that doesn’t have too much bird shot left in it. You know how it constipates Mother so.
I seem to have arrived at a very odd sort of centrism. The last thing in the world I want to see is a gay men’s porno marathon. The second to the last thing would be a window into Dick Cheney’s soul.
If the birds were smart, they would have realized they had the hunters seriously outnumbered. They would have taken casualties, sure, but in the end sheer numbers can triumph over superior size and technology. No politician can withstand that many chickens.
I would like to see Cheney’s face when this pulsating mass of feathers and fury begins rushing towards him on a thousand skinny legs.