I remember the dumpy boys at my school also had a tough time. An example is rugby practice (which, inevitably, also always seemed to take place in biblical storms). The Head of PE – a man old enough to have done national service, and it showed – would pick out the three fattest boys and have them stand still on a chalk line. The rest of us would then practice tackling each of them in turn (head behind the thigh, etc) – the poor kids would just stand there as the rest of tried to bring them down with running tackles.
We did move on from that quite quickly (to other aspects) but the image of it stays with me. Pretty brutal and not nice to remember.
That Head of PE eventually electrocuted himself to death with his flymo at home during the summer hols.
I don’t recall having table tennis at school but that’s a great story Steve.
I’m still remembering those girls legs. Bless 'em all ! - including you, Nortia. Bet you’ve got a great pair of lungs !!
Cooper tests, pencilled-in sausages…what ? confused of London
Great story Steve. The PE Gods, lo they did smile upon you that day. Shame they were such bastards the rest of the time.
I was in the school gymnastic team. I had to stand on a stage infront of my entire school and dance wearing nothing but a leotard. Yeah, that’ll do wonders for a fifteen year-olds self-confidence.
We had one of those “if-you-forget-your-kit-you-do-PE-in-your-underwear” teachers. Fantastic incentive to never forget, unless you wanted your Spiderman Y-fronts exposed to the world.
My most embarrassing PE moment would have to be nearly bisecting myself by slipping while on a balancing beam. Lord that hurt.
We didn’t run (ha ha geddit!) to country that could be crossed at school but we did have a running track which meant you couldn’t slow down and have a ciggie against a tree or hide or take a short cut or anything – everyone watched you every gruelling metre. Especially if you were always last, like little old me . Funny how us PE-detesting weedos all ending up at the SD, eh?
Hang ypside down on the gym wall bars?! No, the showers were punishment enough. Another time my mums writing came in useful, I think I had a verruca 99% of the time
God, yes. We ran at least 2 and most often 3 days a week. We only ran inside if it was below freezing (and the crappy heating system kept the gym to about 40 F so it wasn’t much of a help).
We used to do what they called the “Indian Run” - real PC, that. The Indian Run consisted of running flat-out for 25 minutes, with time penalties (eg more running) if you slowed down at all. For some reason, it was always either broiling or freezing when we did this particular exercise.
We did the shuttle run too - wasn’t that the one wher you run 10-20 yards, pick up a block, race back to the start, go back and get the other one and then return again to the starting line? Hated that too. I have long legs and a very long stride and it was hard for me to pivot well.
That’s the one. Run from one end of the hall to another, turn around, run back. Repeat. Touch the wall before the third beep.
Meanwhile, an early 60’s cassette player (this must have been in 1986 or so, mind) is standing on a bench alongside the hall. It plays beeps. Three beeps in a row, pause, three beeps in a row.
And the pauses get shorter, and shorter, up until the point where you’re smashing yourself into the wall at 40 km/h just to make the beeps. I’m telling you, it’s a flippin’ miracle no more than 6% of all students at my school died of Shuttle-inflicted heart attacks or skull fractures.
They never made us hang upside down, though. Too easy. If we fucked up, we got to do another Forest Run.
