In Soviet Russia, Red Lobster eat you!
What a country!
I assumed you married that lovely girl. Instead, you should have.
Of course Sauron was from the USSR, Lord of the Rings makes so much more sense now!
Funny story, thanks! 
Hah, nice one. I would have been stressed that someone I knew would have been there, recognised me and called out. All would have ended in shite very quickly.
What Sauron doesn’t tell you is that, in fact, he is a Commie spy, and that was a contact made between his handler by hiding it in plain sight. I’d like to see just what was written on that reciept, mister! I give you kudos for taking a live drop in person under such a ruse!
See? He finally comes clean.
Tripler
Ain’t no statute of limitations on the Espionage Act, товарищ! 
Very well told!
When I was studying in Slovakia in 1996 I had a British friend who hitchhiked a lot and would always put on a silly accent and make up strange stories about her life, like leaving her husband three children behind in Zubrovnik to find work in the host city. She was in her early twenties, so that made her act less believable and more fun for her getting the to play along.
I did the same a couple of times but couldn’t quite put my heart into it. However, I did once get comped a hell of a lot of free champagne after grabbing some bloke at the bar in (I forget where, maybe Budapest?) and saying “I just told that sleazy dude with a gun that I’m married; pretend you’re my husband.” We ended the evening the parents of five children with one on the way, which we’d just discovered, hence the champagne, mostly paid for by sleazy gun-guy.
Ooh, nice catch!
Okay, you got me. There WAS a secret message on the receipt. It was written in invisible ink (specifically, juice from the lemon wedges they gave us to squeeze over our popcorn shrimp).
The message was: “Reagan’s nose pimple really IS cancer!”
Also, the waitress was Keri Russell from The Americans.
Finally! After almost 30 years, the lie is over! God, I feel so free now!
Too bad I’m about to be deported as a Soviet spy. Anybody seen Snowboarder Bo?
I don’t think anyone has mentioned that Romanov was the family name of the last Russian emperor, so it’s just possible that you were assumed to be exiled Russian royalty and perhaps even the surviving heir to the throne, if it weren’t for that whole inconvenient Communist thing. And, of course, you might be toting around a few priceless Faberge eggs while in exile.
Anastasia lives! Alert the press!