Did I really see that?

Perhaps it’s time I change my contacts and get more sleep, but in the last couple days, I’ve had a little problem with my ability to read. I mix up words, I confuse meanings. Now, it has carried over to the SDMB.

These are things I’ve seen posted here, which caused me to question my sanity. Upon further review, though, I was able to process what was REALLY posted.

In In My Humble Opinion, I saw a thread entitled:

Absolute panties a must have for the inexperienced cook.

My thought:

Where does one get some Absolute panties? Do they last forever? and Well of course inexperienced cooks should have panties on.

In reality:

The thread was actually entitled Absolute pantry must-haves for the inexperienced cook

In General Questions, I see:

Maximum amount of alcohol for painful intercourse.

My thoughts:

Do you really WANT painful intercourse? I’ve had intercourse after drinking heavily and it wasn’t necessarily painful.

In reality:

A blending of two separate nearby threads: Maximum amount of alcohol in brewed beer, and One for the docs/women: painful intercourse.

Finally, in Great Debates, I see a thread entitled:

Is Lolo a bit of a waste of time.

My thoughts:

Yes he is, but shouldn’t that be in the Pit?

In reality:

It was a thread entitled Is SETI a bit of a waste of time, and when I saw the title, the thread above it was started by a poster called Lolo.

While it was good to know that, after a second look, I was not going insane, I wondered if anyone else has had this problem in real life or on the SDMB? If this occurs again, I’ll keep you informed, but tonight I go to bed early and get new contacts.

You are insane, you need to clean your contacts and get some sleep, and the thread titles were just like you read them the first time, but were quickly changed after you read then to further enhance your insanity.

[sub]The Illuminati are bored this week[/sub]

Don’t worry about it, it’s just a glitch in the Matrix.

My dear old mom always said, “If life give you lemons, make lemonade.” Actually she never said that, she did, however scream: Boys DON’T were dresses!!! But that’s another story.

However, since that saying warms the cockles of my heart so much (the lemon one, not the dress one), I’ve decided to run use it in regards to my current problem. I realized that occasionally the mistakes are down-right funny. In the Nation/World Briefs part of my morning paper, I saw the headline:

Bush ready for sperm shapes
It was good for a quick laugh. Luckily it was actually two headlines which were bunched together. One was “Bush ready for Putin,” which describes Bush deciding how many nukes he wants to cut when he talks with Putin next. The other was “Sperm shape important” which describes a study published in todays New England Journal of Medicine. I am still interested if this happens to anyone else with any other comical (or not so comical) results. Don’t make me ask this question to my co-workers or friends. They already think I’m too odd already.