As we were waiting for a metting to start, we were discussing the renovation and relocation that’s going on in our offices. One woman apparently didn’t realize that, in the federal government, your pay grade can determine the square footage to which you’re entitled. Several of us explained that cubicle and office sizes were pegged to the pay grade as well as the actual job the person holds.
She had obviously just grasped this notion as the director came in to start the meeting, because she turned to him as he sat down and said, “Wow - I guess you must have a huge one!”
Mild pandemonium ensued, and she realized how that had come out and turned about six shades of red.
Most interesting start to a meeting I’ve had all year.
Recently, my sister and her husband purchased a very large-screen TV (sis had relayed this info to my Mom during a phone conversation they had). A few days after that, sis and brother-in-law, their children, my parents, and I met for dinner at a local restaurant. We all arrive around the same time, get seated, and my Mom leans across the table and says to my brother-in-law, “So, I hear you got a big one.”
I guffawed shamelessly, then my Mom started laughing and blushing, then of course I had to repeat the exchange for those who missed it.
I used to dispatch message out to field personell for any kind of mowing, trimming, or other yard work. I told one of the guys that he needed to go to so and so address because a woman wanted her bush trimmed. I still haven’t lived that one down.
Can I add one?
My sister lives with a guy named Dick. She brought deviled eggs to a family party, and put them out on the buffet table. As I reached for one, she said something about being lucky to get one. A few seconds later she pipes up with “I had a hell of a time keeping Dick out of the deviled eggs!”
Ewww…dick in the deviled eggs? Jeepers! I laughed shamelessly and embarassed everyone. No wonder no one ever calls me.
High School Orchestra. We’re stammering along as usual, when our teacher (the same one we’ve had since grade school, BTW), waves his hands to stop everyone and says “Wait wait wait everyone. I got a beat off.”
As you can imagine, it was a treeeeeemendous crowd-pleaser.
