The OP wasn’t lynched, or burned to death, or murdered because of their ethnicity. They got served by a rude tosser and, if it was me, I wouldn’t go there again.
Lynching, immolation, and murder aren’t the only kinds of illegal discrimination. You can classify some forms of discrimination as merely being rude, but that doesn’t mean society just lets that pass.
Is a store actually obliged to serve people in the order they arrive anyway? I mean, it makes sense to me as a westerner (worse, a Brit) that this is what should happen - and that forming an orderly line is right and good and proper, but I understand that queueing conventions are not universal, and that not everyone sees things the way I do.
A store is obliged not to discriminate on the basis of race. It’s certainly conceivable that it might discriminate by choosing to serve people of X race first.
That’s an interesting question. In the US, there is a history of cashiers and servers ignoring black customers as long as there were any white customers who hadn’t been served. Unless there were no white customers, black customers just didn’t get served.
And otherwise, in the US, it is first come, first served, unless you have a reservation or appointment, or whatever. So people line up to establish who arrived when.
I suppose in other countries, it could be “Whoever just verbally indicated they are ready to be served is next,” or something, and until you have given some indication of the fact that you are ready, the server assumes that you are still perusing the menu.
One does expect that even in an ethnic restaurant, in the US, the service will still conform to US customs, but there really is no law that they must. The OP was not actually refused service, nor was she explicitly told “Wait until I serve my countrymen first.” If the server is a recent immigrant, she may simply need the manager to clue her in to US customs, but as long as unhappy people keep leaving in silence, and making vague Yelp reviews that the servers weren’t “friendly,” without any specifics, the situation is going to continue. There’s probably a website of Facebook page for the restaurant, where someone could dash off a quick email to the manager, who will then speak to the employee. Problem solved.
The OP’s story clearly suggests that what was happening was that he was not served promptly because he is not Asian. Notwithstanding all the things you’re talking about, there’s an unambiguous answer to the question he’s asking. There is a law about that. The store isn’t allowed to do it. That’s discrimination on the basis of ethnic/national origin.
I don’t think the OP clearly describes discrimination, it could have been lousy service due to incompetence.
I think the sample size is too small for an unambiguous answer.
We obviously don’t know what was in that person’s mind.
But there is an unambiguous answer to the question “is it illegal for them to refuse (temporarily) to serve me because I’m white,” which is obviously what the OP was getting at:
Is it still discrimination if the people of race X are communicating their desire to order in a way that people of race Y are not?
It’s discrimination if the reason for the disparity is race.
“Communicating” is fairly broad. What if it’s “we serve people who communicate in Korean faster”?
Even if you can characterize it as behavioral—“Koreans hold their hands up in a particular way but non-Koreans don’t”—it might still be discriminatory if the overall effect is discriminatory.
And if this place has been open for any length of time, it’s going to become difficult to argue “We’re never sure when non-Koreans are ready to order.”
But if this employee is new, she might genuinely need cluing in, which is why a word to the manager, explicitly explaining what happened, as opposed to a vague comment on Yelp, might make for better service next time.
What does it mean that the employees aren’t “friendly”? (a Yelp comment, not necessarily from the OP) aside from that generally being vague, it means different things in different places. People in New York like to get in and out. People in Indiana apparently like to chit-chat with the cashiers, even if it holds up the people behind them.
What if it’s “we serve those people first who we realise are ready to order”? As someone pointed out, the place is in a mainly Korean part of town, it’s not a stretch to imagine that servers would not be sure if a person from a different cultural background is ready to order. If the issue is behavioural, as I suspect it is, then I don’t see how you can allege discrimination. Aren’t private establishments allowed to have their own behavioural code? Dress code, no raised voices etc?
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Why do you think a Yelp review need be vague?
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In this day and age, it’s not unreasonable to expect small businesses to be aware of and respond to bad reviews online. For people who aren’t comfortable with face-to-face confrontation it can be a very good solution.
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A review by the OP raising her concerns need not be unfair not inflammatory nor vague.
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I doubt very much that a small business owner in Alpharetta, Georgia, can be so immersed in an immigrant culture that they don’t face the issue of learning to deal with the customs of people from different backgrounds. Regardless, as a matter if principle, I don’t have a problem with a Yelp review that is factual and presents concerns without outright accusations.
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I don’t see why a customer should be overly concerned with whether a server was a new employee. That’s the business owner’s problem.
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In the South, saying that a business is “not friendly” isn’t vague. There’s a very specific culture of manners there and it’s not unreasonable for a business owner—even an migrant business owner—to face public criticism on that basis. Whether they choose to respond to it depends on their own evaluation of the positives and negatives, but it’s not unfair to put it on a Yelp review. It’s certainly not as controversial and damaging as an accusation of discrimination.
It doesn’t need to be, but it looked like all the exemplars in fact, were.
See my point No. 6.
Remind me to stay out of Georgia.
It sounds like the OP went from the “ordering area” behind the display case to the cashier area, following his/her friend, without ordering or saying anything. Then the Asian woman entered the “ordering area” and ordered something. If I were the cashier, I would just think the OP’s just hanging around waiting for his friends to finish. Then when the OP moved back to the ordering area, that wouldn’t necessarily register on me that now meant the OP wanted to order something. I’ve already written off the OP as “just hanging out” and not really paying attention as to whether the OP’s now entered the ordering area, especially since I’ve taken another order and the OP hasn’t said anything. I’m thinking the OP’s just wandering around the store, waiting for his friends.
The cashier isn’t necessarily being racist, just not analyzing why the OP’s moving from place to place without saying anything.
I’m thinking about times I’ve been in an ice cream parlor or pizza place or other places where you order in one place and pay in another. I’ve never left the ordering area with a friend to enter the paying area if I actually wanted to order. Leaving the ordering area is a signal that you don’t want to order. Usually, you would wait in the ordering area if you wanted a separate order.
This is true. I just went back and read the OP. The behavior was sort of giving off mixed signals, at best. The cashier doesn’t know how the friend planned to divvy up what was bought.
Two perfectly reasonable assumptions were that 1) OP was just hanging around with friend, and friend was the only one doing ordering and paying; or 2) OP hadn’t actually decided on what she wanted, or even* if *she wanted anything-- maybe she just came in with friend, but now was considering ordering something.
Jumping to the conclusion that the cashier would get to the OP as soon as all the Asians were served is a pretty big leap, especially since the OP never said anything. Once the cashier took the first woman’s order, if I were the OP, I’d say “Excuse me, I’m ready.” Honestly, the longer the OP stands around not saying something while the cashier serves other people, the more it will seem to confirm the idea that the OP doesn’t want to order.
Except the other customers were standing there wordlessly, and only ordered when the attendant acknowledged them. I was following all the same cues.
One thing I didn’t clarify: the attendant was a young American of Asian ethnicity, as were the two customers served before me. all communication was done in English.