WAG: His car’s ignition switch is going bad. He knows this, consciously or not, and that jiggling the steering wheel and ignition will get it to where it can start again. I wouldn’t feel dumb about this one.
Hell that’s not dumb, I’ll tell you about dumb. We got to the point of trying to tow it with it still in drive. Meaning, none of us was smart enough to check if it was in neutral before towing it, whereby we would have noticed it was still in drive.
I very slowly put a truck in a ditch while trying to park it on the edge of a turnout on a gravel road. No matter what I tried, it would not come unstuck. I was twenty miles from a small town and there was no cell phone reception.
I jogged two or three miles before hitching a ride with a guy who lives in tent in a rock pit (I bought him some gas for his troubles).
I finally made it to the small town and find a guy with an old tow truck. We drive all the way back to my truck and hook it up.
While he starts pulling me, I give it a little gas to try and help drive out. He looks down and notices my 4 wheel drive not engaging.
I forgot all about the manually locking hubs
I did almost the exact same thing!
I was working on a house on a Ushaped drive, where only the legs had been poured. Off the end was a huge mud pit. I arrive first in the morning, and consequently had several guys park behind me. Well, I had to leave for some reason, so I figured I’d just put it in 4wd and drive through the mud to the other leg of the U. Got it, shifted to 4, and went.
And promptly got stuck in a mud bog…because I hadn’t locked the hubs. Had to get out in the sucking mess to lock 'em so I could escape.
I got laughed at.
ITEMIZED BILL
Flip master switch: $5.00
Knowing which switch to flip: $45.00
At least you didn’t do this during your driving test! Yes, I had been asked to pull up to the starting point, which I did. Some time later, I was joined by the driving instructor who asked me to start the car. I tried and tried, but it wouldn’t start. I looked over at the instructor, who was glaring at me, so I knew I was doing something wrong. Fortunately, I finally noticed that the car was in drive and was able to continue the test. I only lost 3 points for that particular piece of stupidity, and did manage to pass the test.
I once withdrew money at the ATM and forgot to take my money.
My friend, who works at an airport, booked a flight for the day before she intended to, and only found out when she showed up at the airport a day after the flight.
When I was in high school I was a stagehand and got assigned to work one of the big carbon arc spotlights at the back of the theater. The spotlight had two carbon arc rods that ran a very large electric current through the gap between them, causing the “arc.” You had to change the carbon rods between scenes because they wore down. A small electric motor kept one rod moving towards the other as they wore down to allow the gap to remain constant. During one show, I got distracted by a pretty girl sitting next to my booth. I almost was late for my cue to change carbon rods between scenes onstage, so I had to hurry the rod change. When I was done, I reached down to turn on the master power switch and nearly wet my pants when I realized I’d never shut it off. If I’d accidentally bridged the two new rods by holding them both with my bare hands, the resultant electrical short would have probably blown off my hands and killed me on the spot. Fortunately, I didn’t touch them both or let my hand come between them. I was so weak I felt dizzy for a minute as I digested what great good luck I just had been gifted with.
Within the last 24 hours?
Wife got us one of those Freschetta rising pizzas for dinner. Removed from box, took out of plastic, and threw it in the oven.
Waited the 20 minutes and the top was golden brown and cheese bubbling. Slid it onto a cutting board, got the pizza cutting wheel and…
why isn’t it cutting through?
:smack: Dumbass me didn’t remove the cardboard from the bottom of the pizza which acted as an insulator and kept the crust in a raw dough state while the top was completely done.
What a waste.
I’ve paid $100 at the dealership to have the mechanic tell me that my gas cap wasn’t on all the way.
I’ve paid for food at the first window of the drive-thru, and then drove on past the second window without ever getting my food.
I almost burned up our RV while roasting marshmallows camping. We were all sitting around the campfire roasting them, and the marshmallow on my stick caught on fire (as they tend to do, and how I prefer to eat them - burned, not on fire). It could’ve been the beer that caused my poor judgement, but instead of bringing it up to my face and blowing out the flame, I decide to shake the stick to extinguish the flame.
That was when I unintentionally performed the coolest, scariest magic trick in my life. One second the burning marshmallow was there, the next second…it vanished. I was still trying to process this little feat of mystery when I hear one of my daughters yell, “DAD! The camper’s on FIRE!”
Apparently, the flaming, molten marshmallow released from the stick at the top of my upward swing past my peripheral vision, flew over my shoulder, and landed on top of the extended awning of our RV. As I turned around to see the flame on the awning slowly start to grow, I remember distinctly thinking, “Man, that’s weird.” My wife was quick to act, and by the time she unhooked the hose from the camper, and turned it on the flame, there was nothing left to the awning but the metal frame.
It’s really hurt my credibility with my daughters in the “Dad’s isn’t a big dummy” department.
Don’t know what you’re complaining about, seems like an easy 200$ to me. 
Every frickin’ day. Usually it’s an “open mouth, insert foot” thing.
I went to visit my mom on Christmas eve last year only to find out that instead of booking round-trip, I booked two return flights. In my defense, I booked one leg with frequent flyer miles and then paid for the other separately, so I had just gotten confused over which one I had originally booked with the miles. Felt pretty stupid at the time, though. They let me get on a later flight than the one I thought I had booked for $150 - I considered it an idiot tax.
Coworkers (I’m kinda new at this job) accept my meetings only so they can point and laugh.
So, yeah.
I rang a pal of mine yesterday who is a sales rep and spends his life on the road. We were chatting away and I said to him “Where are you, now?”
Big silence
“You rang me on the landline you daft bat. I’m at home”
I turned my car on and attempted to back it out of the garage. Only it wouldn’t go into Reverse. The shifter was stuck in Park. I grabbed it with both hands and wrenched at it. Still nothing. “OMG I’ve broken the car,” I thought in a panic, and summoned my dad to inspect the situation.
“You have to have your foot on the brake to shift out of Park,” he said, giving me a dumbfounded look. Which I had done every time before that, and every time since, because shifting your car into gear without holding the brake first is stupid and dangerous, which is why every automatic is designed like that. D’oh.
Just now, I was reviewing some tweets at journalist said some about WED. I almost tweeted back at him to know what WED stood for. fortunately I realized it meant Wednesday before I made a fool of myself.
I once DJed a college graduation party and got the girl’s name wrong…not even close.
A bunch of us were driving to Detroit when the car started acting funny, like the engine or tranny was slipping. Someone had the bright idea to check the tranny fluid, so 4 of us are out in the cold and dark trying to find the dipstick. We have lighters and matches going, trying not to set the car on fire. Suddenly I mumble…guys, this is a stick shift.
At my best friend’s wedding, I was Best Man. I was extremely nervous about giving a toast, as I’m not much of a public speaker, and I had no idea what to say. I spent a bunch of time before the ceremony and quite a bit of time during the outdoor reception pacing and trying to figure out what I was going to say while, at the same time, working up the nerve to actually say anything at all.
Finally, I felt like I got it down, and I summoned all my courage. I began to speak! As I was doing so, I noticed some puzzled looks and a flurry of activity from the waiters. You see, while lost in thought, I hadn’t actually mentioned to anyone that I was about to give a toast, and no one had any drinks with which to toast. I think about half of the folks had a glass of something by the time I finished.
Fortunately, subsequent toasts to the bride and groom were better planned. But that memory makes me squirm uncomfortably to this day, and that had to have been more than eight years ago.
I posted this sad story of stupidity a few years ago, but I still feel dumb when I remember it.
Basically, I drive a manual transmission car. I parked said car in my garage, and on this one particular day (only time ever!) I forgot to set the parking brake or even put it into first gear after shutting it off.
My garage has a very slight incline, so overnight the car rolled slowly and gently backwards until it came to rest against the garage door.
The next morning, trying to leave for work - I push the button for the garage door, there is a terrible metal-on-metal screeching sound. It stops 1/4 of the way open.
:dubious:
I hit the button again. It closes, same horrible metal screeching.
:dubious:
Probably 3 times, I send the door up - “SCREEEEEEECH!”, and then back down - “SCREEEEEEEEEEEECH!”
:dubious:
And that’s when it dawns on me - it’s digging deep gouges in the rear end of my beloved Mustang.
:smack:
Not in my OP, but about a year later I backed (hard) into a concrete post protecting a fire hydrant at our factory. Fist-size (and deep) dent. That was enough to prompt me to send it to a body shop. Deductible cost me $1500 to get all this mess fixed. I still feel really stupid about both incidents.