The other day my husband and I are headed to the grocery store.
Him: Dome sticks?
Me:
Him: That sign, it … oh … uh, nevermind.
I look over in the direction he was looking, and see a liquor store with a sign in the window that says “Domestics”.
He’s quite smart, and well-read. His brain just decided to process that word … oddly.
Just this morning, I was cutting through the lobby at work to get to the ladies’ room. I forgot my security badge on my desk, so I ended up stuck in the lobby. The mail room has a dutch door that opens into the lobby. The top half was open, and I saw one of my coworkers inside, so I asked her to please let me in. She looked at me kind of funny, but came over and opened the door for me. It was then that I realized I could have just reached in the open top half of the door and turned the knob from the inside. :smack:
The worst is looking all over creation for my thimble. You know, the one on my finger? :smack:
Or when I drive past a car like mine (there are a lot of Impulse Red Corollas out there, let me tell you) and think “I don’t remember parking there.” Or when I get home from riding with someone else and get confused by the car “just like mine” in the driveway. :o
I was upset when I woke up one morning to find I had taken out my contact lens, but not put any solution in the case.
But I was broken-hearted when I woke up one morning to find out I had taken out my contact lens and put solution in only one half of the case. Apparently I got part way through and then just wandered off.
Or when I dig around in my eye to remove and rinse the contact lens I took out and tossed* the night before. :smack:
*on purpose–end of the month switchover where I take them out at night and put a new set in in the morning. Other than that night, I always have lenses in.
Last night, while scrolling the playlist for TV show selections, I highlighted an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. I read out loud, “Dr. Pulaski deals with plaque and . . .”. Good God, I thought, do they even have plaque in the future? Oh, PLAGUE. Never mind.
This morning on the way to work I heard a story about a potted plant that plans to go to africa. I though that was nice, a little odd for NPR to be talking about, but still…
Turns out it was “pontif plans” to go to on a trip.
This thread is making me giggle. Since I never do anything silly, I can laugh at you all from the sidelines.
I’ve told this before, but Sr. Olives once walked up to me and said,
‘‘You have the right eye-locations.’’
‘‘The what?’’
‘‘Your eyes. They’re in the right locations. Like the Cake song.’’
‘‘What?’’ ''I want a girl with the right eye-locations, who is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack…’’
:smack:
(The verse to which he referred, for those unfortunate souls who don’t know this wonderful song, is
I want a girl with the right allocations,
Who is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She’s playing with her jewelry, she is putting up her hair
She is touring the facility and picking up slack
I remember sitting in my Catholic grammar school, in my white shirt and corduroy pants, while the nun stood below the crucifix and lectured us on something that was no doubt quite serious, wondering, “wait… how did Jesus die?” Took me a good minute or two to remember.
When I was in 7th grade or thereabouts, I was writing a letter to someone and competely forgot that “of” was a word.
No, I’m not kidding.
There I was, just writing away without a care in my head, when I stop and look at what I’ve written already. No, wait…that can’t be right. What kind of a word is “of”? I actually went around and asked everyone I knew if it was a word, and, if so, what the hell it meant. Got some weird looks that day.
Also, when I was in 4rd grade, I forgot how to add during a math test.
I had no problems with higher multiplication, decimals, and all the harder stuff. When it came to simple addition (which I had done just fine for three years), I completely blanked. I actually went up to the teacher and meekly told her my dilemma. She kindly gave me a hint in the right direction, and it more or less clicked back into place.
Heh, that video was a lot like when my parents taught their dog to use the dog door. She eventually got the hang of it, but for a while she wouldn’t even go through it when they were holding it open for her.
As I was getting ready to leave the house I couldn’t find my sunglasses. I was super pissed because my commute to work is in the direction of the sun the whole way.
I briefly thought to myself "Hey wait. It’s Saturday maybe the sun wont be out so bad. About a second later I realized that the sun doesn’t take weekends off! :smack:
Many years ago, driving through Portland, OR, we passed an office building along the freeway. It was dark, the company had neon letters for their name, but part of it was burned out. Four grown ups spent a day and half pondering the meaning of “Portland Paginc” (we agreed it was pronounced puh-GEENK). Then on the way home, through the day, we all did a facepalm when we saw it was “Portland Paging”.
One time in elementary school I couldn’t remember how to spell “what”. For a few minutes the H just seemed idiotic, but it didn’t look right without it. None of my classmates could help me out, haha! The gears started turning again shortly after.
My brother and I, when we were kids, were in the back seat while dad was driving us somewhere. My brother loved motorcycles and so I had absorbed most of the brand names…Suzuki, Yamaha, Harley Davidson…then I saw a strange dealership name and asked, “Since when did Poland start producing motorbikes?” They both asked what I was looking at and I said, “Right there, the Kawaski dealership!” Amazing what a difference one letter can make.
Several years ago I was the lead agent in a travel office. It was my job to program special functions on each agents keyboard as changes/updates occurred.
I had to ask each agent for his or her password (yeah, I know, but that’s the way it worked). The passwords didn’t allow spaces, so I don’t think I should feel too stupid when one agent showed me her password, and I read it as, “Dome baby.”
I had one just now while typing another post. I couldn’t remember how to spell “elegant.” “Elogant”? “Elagant”? “Elagent”? I retyped it four or five times before the result looked right.
Also, this weekend I started my vegetable garden. I planted tomatoes, radishes, and carrots. “Hey, this is great!” I thought. “I even have more room on the patio, I could grow something else…like eggs!”
