Today I learned that a very dear friend died yesterday - not too surprising, as he had suffered from some pretty serious health issues in recent months, but still, quite a shock to me. He wasn’t one of those friends that I call up every day or week, or we got together for coffee once a month, or whatever… He was that friend who would, if I needed someone, be there for me. And I would do so for him. When I was in a seriously “lost” place, he found me, and helped me get back on the path to “finding myself,” (I don’t know of a less pretentious way to describe it. Just one of those dark times, when I couldn’t’ve pinpointed any specific thing wrong, but nothing was really very right in my life.) When he was caring for his father and trying to work and not taking very good care of himself or anyone else, I would go and clean and nag and take over Dad duty and make my friend take a nap and a hot shower and a little selfish time, and stay over for a few days just so that he could have some breathing space. There was nothing romantic or sexual about our relationship, and we weren’t the kind of friends who lived on one another’s sofas - we just made it a point to be there when things were too much for the other to handle.
Now I don’t have that friend, and I’m so, so sad, and I will miss him for always…
I’m sorry to hear of your loss. Every death is a loss, of course, but when it’s someone who’s holding up the sky in our lives, it’s like life has lost all it’s sweet.
She was sweet, kind, and very giving. She was also kind of troubled, and very willing to give of her self to me, and others, but not enough to herself. After she died, I met some of the many other people who now miss her. Every one of us feels we should have done more for her, but none of us know what that could have been.
I hold her memory quite dear. It’s all I have of her.
I have stood where you now stand, and recall how it hurts. But the memory is sweet for me now, and warm. Wait for it.
My condolences. I have a few friends like that. Haven’t lost any of them yet. However, used to do a lot of rockclimbing (had to drive long distances to do it). There was a guy for a few years (from another area not near me) I went on many trips with. We had many good times. Both of us eventually moved on in life. A good guy. I got an email recently that he had died after a long illness (which doubly sucks IME). About 50 years old with a kid. Life/death just really sucks sometimes
Thank you all. I was driving to pick up my son today, and a song came on the radio that made me pull over and -finally - cry. Something tells me that I’ll do this a lot in coming days and weeks, since Dennis was a professional musician, but the tears definitely helped. Now I need to get through the wake and memorial service…
I’ve been fortunate enough in my nearly half century to have a couple of those friends and be one of those friends. Life without them would be lacking.
