Did you ever invent anything nasty?

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

I accidentially did as a kid.

I had a stiletto switch blade, the kind that shoots the blade out the end. Everyone wanted to play with it, which really ticked me off.

So in a fit of spite, I tried to bust it with a hammer.

It chipped pieces off both sides, exposing the blade when it was still inside the handle.

The next time a kid grabbed it, he sliced his hand on both sides. (He healed, Ok? so get off my back. I already did the detention. )

Now, I plan to sell them to gunrunners, as a close-the-deal gift to pass out.

#2

I guess I invented the shocking radio by accident, too, by being rough on it until it dissolved into a pool of sparks.

Does that count?

#3

I did. I called it my Evil Twin. It was this person that was like me but couldn’t take a joke in another thread and really turned out to not be a good invention at all. Eventually, the moderators shut it down. Pity. And I so liked it at the start. Sigh.

#4

Edible tampons. Cherry, strawberry, and grape flavored.

#5

slythe – you are one sick motherfucker. Gods, I love you! And I happen to have a very tasty morsel tucked up here…

#6

Great. You give me a signature I can’t possibly use in my own forum! :slight_smile:

#7

The man that can charm the tampons out of women

No, no I guess THAT wouldn’t work either…

How about

he that makes Byzantine weak and wanton.

Now, as far as I know, that really is something to brag about!

#8

blush
Thank you! :slight_smile:

#9

I invented the Internet. Now that’s nasty.

#10

slythe–hard core blush and I can’t believe that you are really going to use that as your sig… what will people say about me? They are going to call me sex obsessed and… oh, yeah, I am. Won that title (rakes nails on chest). So, this means we’re engaged, right? Great! I’ve got everything planned. You’ll work 100 hours a week and I’ll stay at home and post. Sound good to you? Grand! That’s what I’ve been looking for!

SPOOFE Bo Diddly–nu uh… Al Gore did! Now don’t you steal his thunder! Shame, shame on you and your family name of Bo Diddly for generations to come! Why, I see a pack of lawyers coming in here right now… you better run!

#11

I’m moving this. It’s not a Pit thread.

#12

Byz, I apologize… however, I DID invent Zima, and I was too ashamed to admit it.

#13

SPOOFE, taking something out of the toilet and bottling it is NOT the same thing as “inventing” it.

#14

Well, you did say Nasty, so I will share with (inflict on?) you one of the products of my diseased mind. The ultimate torture/multilation tool which I call the Anal-yzer. Picture a straight two-foot long section of pipe similiar to bicycle handle pipe, with a plastic grip on one end. On the other end, a tri-bladed hunting arrowhead. And welded to the length of the pipe rows of razor blades and fishhooks.

Do I win a prize? :frowning:

#15

Hell, I threw that toy out 3 years ago. The new one uses an electric cattle prod for a base, an unshielded rotary razor on one end, and a large glove made from the hide of a porcupine on the other.

For $7 more, it also plays “It’s A Small World” when in use.

#16

I refer to you … Calvin and Hobbes.

His Transmogrifier, his duplicator, his time machine, pretty much his cardboard box. I want one!