Let's Make Some Really Bad Inventions...

Come up with ideas for inventions that are really bad.

My suggestion:

Red headlights for cars and white tail lights!
“Stick out from the crowd and be seen for miles as you come barreling down the road with bright red headlights and white tail lights! Imagine the fun as other drivers notice you coming and going!”
So what is your bad invention?

I have this in my Hulu queue right now:

Failed Inventions

On an episode of **The Odd Couple **Felix tried to market broccoli-flavored bubble gum with opera star trading cards. Oscar told him it wouldn’t fly. It didn’t.

That’s always been one of my favorite bad inventions.

The nuclear hand grenade. A strong throwing arm recommended.

Solar powered flashlight

Wormburger Helper

Fishnet diapers

Screen doors for submarines.

Instant water. What would you add?

Haha, yesterday my friend and I discovered there was a website called Heroin Helper. My reaction: “Is that like Hamburger Helper? Does it come in a can?”

So my offering for this thread is Heroin Helper.

Also: Do It Yourself Biopsy Kit! “It’s a Science Toy!”

That makes about as much sense as…oh wait.

The Shurinal™. It’s this, uh, thing you can wear on your butt in case all the crappers are occupied and all there is is a urinal. Sort of a…fan, if you follow me. In a protective housing. On your butt.

Almost… what the world REALLY needs is a do it yourself autopsy kit.

Some other bad ideas I have:
Treadmills for ants
Free weights for moths
Artificial antlers for deer
Silverware for monkies
Spitoons for cobras

Big Bag of Shattered Glass (Ages 2 & Up)

E.P.T. Home Abortion Kit

Fruit-Flavored Gummi Viagra

Some inanimate object that one could pretend is a pet. Ha ha ha, imagine the hilarity! Imagine if it’s something really dumb, like a rock.

A plastic fish mounted to a plaque. When you make noise around it, it sings.

A hair-cutting system that attaches to your vacuum cleaner.

Naw, those would just be dumb.

I’ve always been wondering about monkies. Is the singular form “monky” or “monkie”?

I’m pretty sure it’s not “Monkee.”

I got it!

A thin plastic liner for cat litter boxes, that will immediately get ripped to shreds by the cat’s claws.

Oh wait, we already have those.


Grass-colored golf balls.

or better yet grass-colored glass golf balls.

Heh… looks like it isn’t a silly as it sounds…

Golf ball-colored grass.

Bungee throwing knives.

The heat seeking flamethrower.

High Explosives for Dummies.

Shaped charge surgery.

Thermonuclear fireworks.