Useless inventions

Fire-proof candles

Instant water

Invisible Designer Clothing.

Did Billy Mays’ death inspire this thread?

No, just a thought I had when I was waking up.

The electric sundial.

Guess I’ll be the first: solar-powered flashlight.

Ultraviolet laser pointer.

They’ve got those, y’know.

Let’s combine two: A plug-in flashlight

Thigh-high waterproof open-toed sandals

Braille on drive-through ATMs.

I hate to burst your bubble (I kid, I don’t mind at all), but a plug-in flashlight has seen its share of uses for my mom and her husband.
Don’t have to worry about dead batteries in a rush.

Yeah, we love our plug-in flashlights. They have tiny blinking lights on them, which are not bothersome when they’re not needed, and so we can find them when they are needed. Regular flashlights get moved around and their batteries die. Plug in rechargable flashlights have to live near their power cords, so we can find them when we need them.

Mine came with glow-in-the-dark digits for reading it at night

Self-propelled boomerangs

pre-sealed envelopes

cardboard toothbrush

Chia Pet that’s covered with kernels of corn

Disposable floppy disk.

Write-only memory.

On first read I though that said Disposable floppy d-… Y’know what? Just nevermind.

But in that spirit, flaccid-sized condoms.

There’s another kind? :wink:

Chindōgu

You know, I could actually see using one for verifying the authenticity of passports and ID cards. There are fluorescent UV lights one can use, but a compact laser pointer would be more practical while on the move. I did custom-order a small UV-diode flashlight a few years ago, but the effect is so low it can be hard to see when it’s sunny.

I remember reading about some company (Disney, maybe?) that was putting out DVDs that were only good for one or two playings. Their excuse was that people only wanted to see the movies once or twice, and these were supposedly priced to support that theory.

Because really, what the world NEEDS is more disposable items. You know, people would never, ever want to watch an old movie again, or pass a kid’s movie on to their relatives and friends, or re-sell it.

(Note: This concept might result in severe headaches due to repeated eyerolls. Use with caution.)