Yup, it took way to long for me to compose and edit that. I didn’t think I was alone.
I stole a pack of gum from the supermarket when I was really, really young - like, maybe 4 years old. I didn’t realise what I was doing at the time, I took it because my mother wouldn’t buy it for me and it wasn’t until later that I realised that deceiving my mother was only one part of the bad thing I’d done, and that stealing from the store was probably the greater of my crimes. I do know that I felt so guilty that I couldn’t eat it and the memory of that guilt has stayed with me always.
So, once I was old enough to know right from wrong, that was never an issue again. In my teens I was aware that it was common for other teens to shoplift, but it wasn’t until late in my teens that I was actually faced with the situation of having a friend try to shoplift when I was with her, and I told her that if she did, I would turn her in to store security. Not only did I feel that stealing was immoral but I’d heard horror stories of others being charged when their friends shoplifted without their knowledge just because they were present. There was no way I was going to risk getting a criminal record because my idiot friend was going to indulge in a behaviour that I disapproved of. That pretty much ended our friendship too. The next time I had a similar situation, I was in my mid 20’s, and I was stunned and horrified as my friend began contemplating walking out of the store in a pair of shoes she hadn’t purchased. I was relieved when she changed her mind (realising there were security cameras in the store) but I feel a little guilty that I didn’t stand up to her and challenge her about it. I guess I felt that shoplifting was the domain of teens and found the situation so unexpected that I couldn’t rally my wits in time to react to it.
Well, I did once or twice take sweets or the like from stores, but only when I was very young- preteen. As someone else said, maybe more of a girl thing?
Small things, like candy bars and cheap-o fireworks and packs of “baseball” cards. never anything that was worth much, just fun stuff I didn’t have money for at the moment. I got caught when I was about 15 and decided, “Ah, well. Enough of that,” and never did it again.
Shoplifted all the time from 18 to 23, sort of a delayed adolescence. Always small stuff, and only from monolith corporate stores, never from individual people or mom & pop shops. (The most expensive item was a large book worth $50 – my “partner in crime” was stunned that I got away with that one!) Never got caught, never felt guilty about it, and the only reason I stopped was because, like gytalf2000’s friend, I wanted to quit while I was ahead.
Part of it was for the thrill (which I never really enjoyed) but mostly it was rebellion against my goody-two-shoes Xtian upbringing. Certainly, it wasn’t because I was short of money.
Two days in juvie does sound a bit harsh. Hopefully, she’ll hate the experience enough to never risk going there again. (The major danger is if she finds jail better than whatever her home situation feels like…that’s how criminals get started.)
I never shoplifted as a teen, however, a significant number of my peers did. Some on a very regular basis. So much so that I remember pretending I had shoplifted too so that I wouldn’t appear as a wimp.
Well… Stealing is still not very moral, momentary weakness or not. So I’m not sure why the poster mentionning morals is out of place and/or insulting.
I never denied that or implied that it wasn’t true. What I said was that it violates a specific moral, which is possible without violating the entire concept of having other morals. And the other poster clarified quite well that she only meant to speak for herself, and that she personally has multiple moral reasons for not stealing, which is why she used the plural. She didn’t intend to imply that people who steal have no morals, but that’s what I thought at first.
It’s certainly not. I know a woman who was shoplifting on a regular basis during her late forties (I don’t know if she still does). She was well-off, and stole relatively costly items from relatively high-end shops, mostly clothes. I don’t think it was for the thrill, but mostly because she’d rather not have to pay. She was self-confident and quite classy, and I’m sure she would have been able to shame the seller for even suspecting someone like her if it happened.
She didn’t feel guilty the slightest bit.
If downloading music and movies counts as stealing, then I’ve stolen a few times. I’d probably go as far as to classify downloading MP3s as “normal” behavior, even if it’s immoral. I’ve also taken other peoples’ loose change if I saw it lying around and I didn’t think they’d notice. But I’d never shoplift. I’d feel too guilty.
I don’t recall having any friends who made a habit of stealing when I was a teenager. Maybe they did and I just didn’t know about it. I do know one person who stole a few movies from the video store he worked at and felt it was justified because of how they treated their employees. And I know some people who took it upon themselves to remove a large poster from a public event; they didn’t feel guilty about it at all, in fact they have the poster on display in their living room. I honestly wouldn’t even consider that shoplifting, more like a humorous act of vandalism.
Actually, I did shoplift something once, but completely by accident. I went into a convenience store, picked up a candy bar and something to drink, then realized I didn’t have any cash with me. I went to the ATM to get some money, then somehow spaced out and forgot what I was doing and walked out of the store. It was really early in the morning. I only realized what I’d done a few hours later. By that point, I was too embarassed to go back and pay for it, plus I figured it wasn’t really a big deal, especially since that (overpriced) convenience store has gotten tons of business from me since then.
The closest I’ve come to actually stealing something valuable would be the stuff I took from my old roommates a few weeks ago; we all moved out of the apartment last month and I went back on the 31st just to make sure everything was clean. It turns out, they’d taken all their big furniture, but the dumbasses left food in the refrigerator, dishes in the dishwasher and various things in a few of the drawers. And they’d turned in their key to the apartment office. So I took it upon myself to give all that stuff a new home, and I feel no guilt or regret about it at all. I got some new dishes and an electric screwdriver! Woohoo! If they ever call me wondering where all the stuff went (which they won’t) I’ll tell them it’s their own damn fault and they should be thanking me that the apartment office didn’t give us a fine for having crap in the apartment.
When you’re a teen, your standards are often flexible and your morals unformed, and you’re also subject to extreme peer pressure. If you’re middle aged (and in cases listed heretofore a millionaire), though, I think it’s probably symptomatic of some kind of mental illness. Winona Ryder, and UK celebs Richard Madeley and Eddie Hall have also been implicated in this.
Not as a teen, no. Or maybe just barely, I am not that good with dates. But I went through an extended period of shoplifting for kicks, from about age 11 or so until possibly 13. I only did it when there was a substantial chance of getting caught, that was the point – to get away with it, to be really, really good at it and never get caught. There was no peer pressure involved, and nobody knew about it as far as I know. I went on to a long string of various kinds of risk taking behaviors, all of which featured the danger of getting caught and the need for what I then thought was great skill to avoid that.
I think shoplifting is not uncommon, though there are always people who Never Would. There are a lot of reaons, though, from simple need – or belief that there is a need – to not thinking of it as stealing because the victim is a nameless, faceless corporate entity. And it does occur to most that this is either wrong or conterproductive or possibly just too high a risk (or whatever serves them for morals in a pinch since the rules approach didn’t take) by their mid-teens.
This does not, however, mean I would either encourage it or try to mitigate the consequences for a child of mine who turned out to be a chip off the ol’ block so to speak. I might, afterwards, try to help them find a less antisocial way for them to engage in risk taking behavior.
I think two days in juvie is reasonable if restitution is tacked on. Whether counseling is a good idea really depends on why the kid is doing it; I don’t think it is generally necessary nor likely to be helpful for shoplifting kids. Beyond a certain age I think it becomes more likely to be in order, but I am not sure what I think that age is – my gut is indeed somewhere around fifteen to seventeen.
Coupla bars of chocolate, and later a packet of firecrackers from a shop in France while on a skiing trip (sounds odd, but there you go). Fairly petty, less than five bucks in 1970s money altogether.