Why is it that women are more reserved about “self manipulation” then men? I could go talk to some of my stomping buddies about anything, but not so with women. I’ve been told that the majority of women do not masturbate. I refuse to believe this. But my question isn’t whether or not women do masturbate, but why it seems to be taboo? Is it a double standard? Men can talk about it, but women can’t?
You’re talking to the wrong women, obviously. Or, you’re talking to the right women, but you’re talking the wrong way.
It’s the same double standard that has been in existence for a long time. Refer back to the whole discussion about how many sex partners Dopers have had (don’t have the link, sorry, it’s on the substitute board we were using). Women who have many partners, masturbate, etc. are ‘sluts,’ men who are sexual are ‘studs.’ It’s a persistent view in society today.
Because our culture has determined that “nice” women aren’t supposed to be sexual–at least not admittedly so. While most men would admit to wanting a partner who is comfortable expressing herself sexually in the bedroom, those same men seem uncomfortable with the same sexual expression of their partner in other settings. If she acts sexual in the bedroom, he can make believe that his prowess is the cause of her excitement.
Most women seem to react to another sexually expressive woman as an outright threat. It is all rather silly, and thankfully this is not always true, but in large part, it is.
Hmmm, thanks for the answers. They have led me to ponder further though. Who creates the double standard (specifically to masturbation)? Is it from the old days when men were the center of the universe? Or is it women in this specific case?
I don’t know about other guys, but I would never (and have never heard anyone else) discuss masturbation with a group of guys… in fact, I would have said that men generally would be even more inhibited in this respect than women… or maybe it’s just because I’m a brit?
You mean we’re not the centre anymore? sheesh, they could have let me know.
(d&r)
It’s because you’re a brit.
Just kidding, though that might have something to do with it now that I’m thinking about it…
I don’t know about most guys (because I’m not most guys) but my male friends and I have no problem talking about “self indulgence”. In fact I know that a number of their male friends also openly discuss masturbation. I’m not talking about a circle jerk or anything, nor are the discussions serious, but we all know that we do it and we all expect we will continue to do it. When I posed the same question to a female friend of mine she reluctantly admitted to partaking in solo abuse, but she said that her female friends would never admit to it and that she would be embarrassed if they knew she masturbated. She (and my wife) provide the insite (although it’s a select sample) that most women feel that the subject is taboo.
Funny but I can’t remember talking to any my male friends about whacking off since I was an adolescent and even then only a few times. Women, particularly SDMB women, are more comfortable with the topic. I took a local SDMB lady to a gun show and she managed to embarass me in front of all the rednecks by loudly talking about dildos while we were looking at target pistols. :eek:
No its not. Maybe it depends on age, but I dont feel uncomfortable discussing this with my friends. We probably wouldn’t discuss technique ( :eek: ) or anything like that, but its not a taboo subject. However, I’ve never met a woman that has admitted that they masturbate, however.
ADMIT that they masturbate? Jeezus. That’s like admitting that they pee!
Wake up people! Everybody does it. It’s ok. Tell your friends, tell your parents, tell your lovers.
It isn’t because you’re a Brit either. I lived with a wonderful group of Brits when I worked in the Middle East years ago, and the women were just as frank about the wank as the men.
But I do know several women who swear they have never diddled themselves- never. Even if they are lying (which in all but one case I think they are) they still must feel ashamed in someway about it. These are very close friends of mine- several I’ve known for 10+ years. They still insist on denying it even amongst each other.