Rectum?! Damn near killed him!
Also reminds me…I do recall being over my younger firned’s house…both of us having been raised extremely conservatively, we had to get under the blanket with our heads covered so no one could see us before we could put the naked Ken doll on top of the naked Barbie doll. And even then she thought it was “dirty” and ran away. I, on the other hand, was intrigued.
Haha, that reminds me of how my friend and I would play with her naked Barbie and Ken (SHE GOT ONE, NO FAIR!!!) dolls–only we weren’t that bright, apparently, and left hot naked Ken on top of hot naked Barbie for her mommy to find. I guess we thought she’d believe our explanation that the dolls came to life and started making sweet, sweet love on her dresser. 
My lesbian Barbies had sex by clickity-clicking their plastic boobies together. It was fun.
Mine is for: Local Crime Scene Cleanup
Which brings up the question: Is there a CSI Barbie?
If memory serves, I didn’t abuse any other toy this way. I chopped Barbie’s hair off (and Midge’s), and we dropped her off our roof, but I didn’t severe limbs or whathaveyou.
There is something about Barbie’s vacous expression that invites bad treatement–she looks vapid. She reminds me of Dinah Shore’s rendition of Melanie Wilkes in their parody, “Went With The Wind”–“Starlett” ( not Scarlett; Carol Burnett) tells Melanie to go soak her head in the punch bowl and Melanie says, “why, all righ’” and does so.
Now, my Flatsy doll or even Dawn–they were more savvy…they were nicely dressed and kept well.
Anyone else ever erase Ken’s hair with an eraser? (these were old Kens from my older sisters–they had felt-like crew cuts–not molded plastic).
I had one Barbie, and apparently nagged and begged my parents for her to have a white fur coat.
This was (of course) because I had decided that she was the victim of a horrible car-crash, was now a paraplegic and needed cheering up.
That poor doll spent most of the time in traction, bandaged up with white toilet paper, on a drinking straw iv line or in calipers made from paperclips and scotch tape…all the while draped in that fabulous white “fur” coat.
That’s what happens when you allow small children to read *Heidi * and Misery within a week of each other.
I’m sure my career choice (I’ll be a doctor in April) has absolutely nothing to do with these experiments…
You know, I think the reason we mutilated the Barbies and nothing else was because there were so damn many of them. I obviously couldn’t remove the arms of or cut the hair of my Singing Rainbow Mermaid Doll; I only had one. But Barbies? We had scads of them. So you could give one a magic-marker coloured mohawk, and apply makeup, and so on.
As a side note, apparently at the age of 7 or so someone asked me “What did I want to be when I grew up?” and I said “Blonde, like Barbie”, which sent my mother into a panic about my self esteem, and led to me several days later receiving the Brown Haired Barbie (you know, the one that wasn’t white, or black, but was of Vaguely and Curiously Unidentifiable Ethnicity with dark hair and tanned skin but no defining features), so I knew that I could keep dreaming of having ludicrously unbalanced proportions and nipple-less boobies while remaining a brunette, dammit.
I think my mother was a Barbie-torturer too, in her youth. She was the one who taught us how to make Barbie bungee-jump over the stair rails.
hee hee! I remember that one. I’m Indian, so my mom bought me that one.
I had no idea this was common. I wonder if it’s generational - back in the late 60’s/early 70’s, neither I nor any of my friends (to my knowledge) did this stuff to our Barbies. But we didn’t get as many toys as kids seem to get these days - maybe that’s it. Or maybe it’s all the violence in the media. Or maybe it’s because I’d have gotten an ass-whoopin’ if I’d done that to my toys!!!
Ahem. Sorry. Nevermind.
Good gad.
Ya’ll aren’t going to practice down hear, are you?
Here.
Spell checkers I need, torture traction I don’t.
I googled this and couldn’t find any info. I must know more. I think I want one. Does that give you any idea of just how gay I am? 
That you’re almost too gay to function?
Get a grip, man.
Google “barbie potato cannon”.
Oh, it was awesome. It was a full sized doll, not Barbie size. It was a mermaid, with long blonde hair and a pink crown, and when you squeezed her stomach, she sang a song. BUT, since she was a mermaid, she should go in the bath, right? So yah, I took her in the bath, and the crown got all waterlogged, but it still worked, her song just sounded like that of a humpback whale, which was still pretty awesome. She had a shell design on her fin, and the shells would go from purple to light green when they got warm water on them.
She was my favourite-est ever, I’m googling for a picture right now, but having no luck. It appears she was called “Little Miss Singing Mermaid”.
OHMYGAWD. I had one of those. I loved her like my own child. We took baths together and hugged and were bestest friends. I would have NEVER lit her on fire.
Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?
What about Water Babies? And they smelled like baby powder?! Awesome. I loved mine, then my sister broke it, so I got a new one.
(They were basically baby-shaped hot water bottle).
I didn’t physically abuse my Barbies (other than some nasty haircuts*) so much as torture their psyches. My cousin and I used to watch soap operas with my mom, so our Barbies were raped, kidnapped, murdered, committed suicide, had eating disorders, etc.
*A butch lesbian cut dyed pink with old lipstick.
My Barbie just hung around the house naked. I remember my aunt commenting once that “Barbie had become a nudist.” I didn’t know what “nudist” meant, just that it sounded really, really naughty.
On the other hand, I had one of those giant Barbie hair-styling heads with the ponytail you could pull out and retract. I cut off the ponytail, not realizing it wouldn’t grow back. That skank always had lipstick all over her face.
I had a few Barbies (before Mattel figured out that they should sell the Barbie WITH the outfit…there used to be alot more outfits sold separately, but I digress)…anyway, I was born in 1962 and had my sisters’ old Barbies (none in good condition) and a few of the newer “suntan” ones. Remember when they came out with flexible Barbie and Skipper? No more rigid plastic–you could bend them into all sorts of un-natural positions…heh.
Anyway-just wanted to say that I don’t think the abuse was generational. More likely to be an indicator of some deep psychological disturbance (the ones who didn’t harm Barbie, that is. I joke!)