Difference between naysayers and someone that helps you grow?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I keep hearing, “don’t listen to the naysayers”, saying and I’m confused.

Is a naysayer someone who gives you a uneducated perspective and criticism, where someone that can help you grow, gives you a educated perspective and criticism?

Examples, been told that bench press is a dangerous exercise and should be avoided because the weight can drop on your chest if you can’t push it up. Although it can happen, you can prevent the risk. If you have a spotter than can handle the weight, it will never happen. To me, this sounds like a uneducated opinion out of fear.

Another example would be an entrepreneur on Dragon’s Den I saw a while ago. He spent over $100,000 into his business and it produced no return. He was “determined/motivated” to make it successful no matter what anyone said or what struggles he had to face. The dragons, who are educated in business, finances, entrepreneurship, etc, told him that his business is going nowhere and something needs to change.

To me, the dragons would be people that can help the man develop. If the man ignores their criticisms, then he wouldn’t grow stronger. He would become ignorant and stubborn, continuing through a downward spiral.

And I guess another question, how can you know if someone is educated in their subject? Having a insightful conversation? Credentials?

I ask because there’s a woman in my gym who does squats, deadlifts, bench press, etc, where the proper form of those moves were taught by a personal trainer with B.S degree. Occasionally there will be a random person telling her she has bad form. She ignores them.

Thanks in advance!

2

If people have given their advice and she hasn’t listened, If guess she is probably happy with the way things are an uninterested in changing. I’d save my advice for someone who wants it.

3

I can see no factual answer aside from a definition of the word “naysayer” (which is literally a person who speaks negatively). This is probably suited for IMHO since you’re asking for advice and/or opinions (about advice and/or opinions).

The phrase “don’t listen to naysayers” is supposed to mean that you should have confidence in the face of people who doubt you, but it is sometimes interpreted to mean that you shouldn’t accept negative criticism of any form.

4

IMHO, it’s mainly 1) Motive and 2) Approach.

  1. Motive. A naysayer’s motive is to do you harm, or at least stymie you.

  2. Approach. Naysayers will frequently move the goalposts. They will constantly find and search for something wrong. “You haven’t gotten a high school diploma yet.” “OK, you got your diploma. But you’ve never gotten a college degree.” “Sure, you got a degree, but it was in an easy major. Now where’s your PhD?”

5

Suppose you want to marry someone who is unsuitable for you:

Naysayer would say/think:* “No, don’t get married to this man** or any man,** you don’t deserve to get married.” * (OK, I exaggerate, but you get my point)
Someone who helps you grow would say,* “This person isn’t good for you. He’s abusive, selfish and irresponsible. Let’s find someone better, shall we?”*

6

A naysayer isn’t someone who offers constructive criticism. It’s someone who is simply pessimistic. True constructive criticism is based on the premise that you have potential to grow.

7

I think this is better suited to IMHO.

Colibri
General Questions Moderator

8

My mother was the best naysayer you could ever hope to meet. Want to go across the street to get a candy bar? “You might get hit by a car and it looks like rain and they probably don’t have the candy you want and it’s too close to dinner and I need you here to help me make it.”

To this day, I hate the “might maybes” of the world. I do what I want and deal with the consequences when they happen.