I’m in me forties now, but in me twenties, ala 1980, wrote out a nice piece, per Sat Night Live skit, back when I wrote those things: I’ll paraphrase from those old notes:
Sweet Chimes Tampons
Two women, dressed urban upscale, in an elevator:
“Ding ding ding ding, ( a Westminster Chime, subtle)”
Woman 1: "What’s that? Is the elevator stalling?
Woman 2: “No, that’s my Sweet Chimes tampon. You ought to try them. When it’s time to change, Sweet Chimes gently lets you know.”
Woman 1: “I really thought it was the elevator. It seems like background music”
Woman 2: " That’s the beauty of it. Sweet Chimes comes in many tones, to blend in with whatever environment you’re in. There’s even a “cricket”, for country girls."
Elevator doors open: Chimes tone again, as people get on elevator.
Woman 1 leaves, smiles and nods, winking, to Woman 2:
“Sweet Chimes, the timed tampon”
So, that was circa 1978. Happy enough if it comes to fruition.