Dildogate, Courtesy of Mountainside, NJ's Finest

The police officers of Mountainside, NJ seem to have traded in the “thin blue line” for a floppy blue dildo known as “Big Blue.”. And Big Blue is the least of it

The whole thing is so gloriously and fabulously appalling that I can’t help but laugh.

Included in the above article, entitled, “23 insane, disgusting and flat-out inhumane claims from Mountainside police lawsuit:”

  • Sniffing female dispatcher’s chair, offering to inseminate her
  • Making a fake call of an officer in distress, then stealing another town’s police car
  • Pooping in another officer’s boots
  • Testicle grabbing, humping
  • Running a fruit stand while on duty

(That last one just slays me)

I just don’t know what to think anymore.

There’s sometimes where you just need to fire everyone involved, disband the police department and start over from ground zero with real adults.

In New Jersey? These guys will soon be Gov. Murphy’s new praetorian guard.

When did they find the time to arrest people?

And one of them coached kids’ athletics? I sure wouldn’t have wanted my kids around him, if I had them.

Good old Republican family values:

I’m with you on most of those, but that pooping in the boots thing, that’s pure gold right there. Who hasn’t wanted to do that a time or two.

Are we sure this story isn’t a stealth promo for Super Troopers 2?

My thoughts exactly, though it would make suspension of disbelief difficult.

Man this makes the Super Troopers guys look tame by comparison.

Haha this guy must know a lot about zebras.

They even screwed that up. It was the wrong person’s boots.

And the wrong person’s poo.

Can you dust for poo?

There’s always money in the banana stand.

Well, we can’t fire them all. After all, some were complaining about the behavior and victims of it. But yeah, these assholes need to canned, along with their supervisors.

I give up. There are no words.

Buried in all of the idiocy is some stuff that is flat-out dangerous or even criminal, including:

  • pointing a loaded gun at other officers
  • making a fake report of an officer in distress to another town’s PD and then stealing their police car
  • driving past other cars extremely fast and very close

That middle one bothers me more than everything else put together. (The fake “officer in danger” call part, not so much the stealing the car part) I have to wonder why Berkeley Heights didn’t take action.

Here is a PDF of the actual complaint, if you’re interested:

Yeah I could easily envision the “officer in distress” call could lead to some innocent person getting shot full of holes like so much Swiss cheese.

Oh… The story is obviously misleading, it says “large dildo” and the picture included doesn’t back up that claim; it’s really not that big.

Fake news! Exonerate them all!

I know you’re joking, but…My coworker who lives in Mountainside said that someone on the town’s facebook page is claiming that the video of Huber attacking the dispatcher with Big Blue is fake!!

Says all that needs to be said. SICK Republicans with repressed sexuality shown on display in their true nature under what they think is the cover of anonymity.